My HAPPY Birthday.

Today I celebrated my 24th birthday and a very happy birthday it was! I wasn't able to go to Caleb's therapy appointments today because I had to study for a test that I had to take this afternoon for one of my classes. Patrick took him by himself and I was really bummed that I missed it...
I mentioned how I told Caleb that the best birthday present for me would be to hear him say, "mom." Well, he's been working on it at home and at speech therapy and today in therapy they were coaching him to say "Mom." Patrick said he said "Ma" which almost brought him to tears. So when I came home Caleb was trying to give me my birthday present. He was trying so hard...moving his lips like I've never seen him do before. He ended up being able to push out an "m" sound and an "a" sound at separate attempts but wasn't able to put them together for me. But he kept trying and trying. It was so sweet. He knew it was my birthday and he wanted so much to do that for me. It kind of made me sad that he was unable to do it for me because I could see it in his eyes and in his face that he wanted to give me that so much. I was of course so proud of what he did regardless. I assured him how proud I was and how much happiness that brought me on my birthday. I knew it wasn't as much as he wanted but it was a lot for me. Patrick recorded a happy birthday message on Caleb's switch which he continually pressed as I was near and Micaiah caught on and started wishing me a Happy Birthday also. So I had two little "recorders" going on. Before Brandon and I left for a wonderful dinner he planned I said bye to Caleb. I saw that same look in his face as he started to vocalize a lot again. It was like he didn't want me to go because he hadn't given me my birthday present that he was working on for me. He kept trying and trying again for me. I again told him that what he did made me so happy and that just hearing about what he did in therapy was a great present for me. I told him I know he'd do it more and more because he is so determined and always keeps trying. But I still left a little sad because I knew what he wanted to do and tried to so persistently but was frustrated because it wasn't coming out. Dinner was very nice as always because it's our time alone together. The food was delicious but Brandon's prayer before we ate was the sweetest most beautiful words that just soothed my soul. Oh, and how can I forget to mention that I scored well on my first test! That was a great start for my day! Thank you for all your prayers.
I can actually say that I love school. I never thought I'd ever say those words. But I like it because a lot of it is interesting to me now and it's a couple of hours for me to focus on something else. It's a human anatomy and physiology class and lab that I am taking so I can relate it a lot to things with Caleb. School is great and I am so thankful that I have so much help with the kids and support from Brandon and my family. That makes a huge difference! I've been a lot more tired though and this is the easy part. So I'm skeptical about the fall semester and those to come after that. But I know I've got a lot of prayers so that will help me out a lot!
Caleb also came home from therapy with a bath chair (it's a loaner) and a stand that attaches to his wheel chair for his switch. And we were also told that his own switch came in and we should be getting it soon. It was like birthday presents for me! Never thought I'd get so many! :)
Last week Caleb was doing an "army man crawl" while in a prone position. He was able to scoot himself forward using his legs and pushing his bottom in the air. I guess it was more like a slither or a worm type of movement. Whatever it was...IT WAS AMAZING! I just wish I video taped it! He seems to do so many new things when Patrick is over. I don't know what that's all about but on the weekends I'll do the same things with him but he won't do all the things he does when Patrick is around. I think he likes to show off for him. Patrick is definitely a blessing for Caleb and us! I have a lot of cute pictures to share but I'm too tired to download them to my computer right now so I'll post it separately after tomorrow.
Micaiah is sick once again. Please pray that he will get well fast and that it will not be passed on to anyone else. I only had two hours of "good sleep" last night because Micaiah was really clingy since he wasn't feeling well and when he finally fell asleep I still had to study.
When I am so tired I often catch myself feeling a little upset that I have to wake up so early to tend to him. Then I realize what's going on in my dumb head and remember to be happy regardless of what time it is that he has awakened. Every night and every morning I thank God for another day with my boys and with Brandon so I constantly must remind myself when these feelings creep up that no matter what, I AM THANKFUL. Every day is a blessing. To see my boys up in the morning even if I'm so tired is the greatest gift any parent can have...you never know what can happen and I wouldn't want to ever take that for granted. I love that God reminds me things like this all the time. It really puts a "check" on me.
One more thing that I've learned on my birthday...
I've been more and more aware of how blessed we are that Caleb is God's miracle. I thought to myself, "What would another birthday mean to me if Caleb was no longer here?" Caleb was my life from the day he was born. My world revolved around his. He was my pride and joy. (still is) But he meant more to me than anything else in the world...yes, even God and Brandon. If God took Caleb that Tuesday night of last year, my world would have fallen apart. I didn't have everything in order yet. So to me, to live another day, to celebrate another birthday would be meaningless without my "world." But God has taught me so much through Caleb and I've got my priorities way more in line now. And I am ever so grateful to breathe and live another day..."No matter what happens!"