God chose me...

Micaiah likes to snuggle with Caleb in his bed
Hanging out with Daddy on the pier in beautiful Hakipu'u
Stretching with Uncle Patrick
Clowning around...
Look at Caleb's face! He has a little smirk! They love our family picnic nights on the beach watching the fireworks show!

I thought it was about time for a new post! ;/ So sorry!

Things have been spectacular but I've been a little lazy! Since my last post, we have moved again! We found an affordable house for rent in my old neighborhood on the exact street I grew up on! We quickly got the place, moved in, and slowly settled in making it our home! We all love it and it's been great for the boys! There's lots more space now and Caleb and Micaiah have their own rooms! However, when we initially moved in, Micaiah did not like having his own room. He kept asking if he could sleep with his brother. But after a week he adjusted to it and has been sleeping a lot better being in his own room.

I sometimes think that it is hard for some people to have a relationship with Caleb. It's understandable. Especially with his cousins and other kids who once "knew" him and played with him. Their kids...and it's different for them. It's probably a lot harder for adults. I can totally see how it would be hard. It doesn't make me sad to the point I want to cry and I know he has so much going for him so it doesn't bother me much. We love him as we always have and try as much as we can to do what we can with him. One thing I absolutely LOVE is watching and hearing Micaiah love his big brother. When I think about the things he does it melts my heart, makes me cry tears of joy, and makes me think that I wish I could see what Micaiah sees. Micaiah was only 3 months old when Caleb drowned so he never had the "normal relationship" with Caleb as others had. (Maybe that's why?) Yet, his brother is HIS BROTHER in EVERY normal way! He's such a big help too now, wanting to help suction him (we only let him turn on/off the machine though), getting things for his brother, helping Caleb put his head up, wiping his brother's mouth, wanting his brother out in the living room by him when he gets to watch a movie, talking to him, etc... I'm so happy that I get to see my boys being loving brothers. God has truly given us special little gifts.

Speaking of special little gifts... We are expecting another little blessing in January! Caleb and Micaiah will be welcoming their little SISTER in no time! We are all very excited. Along with my excitement comes fear, worry, and the "how can I do this all?"...But with prayer, those feelings subside quickly for I know I can do ANYTHING with God! When Brandon and I talked about having another baby and life in general we said we would not live life as if we were being held down or as if we believed Caleb would be this way forever. It has been 3 1/2 years...but we are still holding onto our faith, growing in our faith, and learning to see Caleb through God's eyes. Caleb is healed and we will live our lives forever as what our faith and God's word tells us. I don't know how long that will take for us to live completely what we believe and we don't know what the future holds. But we do know that God has awesome plans for our beautiful son and our family. And knowing that is what keeps us moving forward everyday.

Caleb recently started going back to speech therapy and has been doing excellent! He certainly did not fall behind being out of therapy for so long! I'm so proud of him in all that he does. He continues to get all his therapies at the hospital and through the DOE at our house. We are still searching for a new tutor but it's hard to come by one that works well with Caleb! He is also in another school since we moved. I'm hoping one day that he can go to school with his own nurses. They are so not understanding when it comes to that. It's so frustrating but whatever! I'll continue to pray on that one!

I recently watched "Letters to God." It melted me and I cried throughout the entire movie. One of my favorite lines from the movie was when the little boy told his mom that God chose her to be his mommy. Gosh, am I eternally grateful that God chose me to be Caleb's mommy (and Micaiah, and the baby too!) When I do my devotions, I often write it as though it's a letter to God. However, this movie changed my way of writing my own letters to God and my thoughts on life in general! It's a great movie...check it out! :)

God chose me. God chose Brandon. God chose Caleb. God chose Micaiah. God chose us all as a family. I could easily dwell on what could have been, what was, and live as though we did not have a future or a hope. But we serve an awesome God that does not allow that in our lives and he refreshes our faith every moment we let Him. I don't hate life. I love it. I love everything about it. Yes, I'm tired all the time and it is stressful but learning to not let that bring my joy down is something I have only been able to do through our mighty God. Only tears of joy is what I have! Thanks God, for choosing me and for choosing my family!