Back to "Normal"

LOVE that FACE!!! He still makes me laugh...

Working hard at therapy!

Life's been really busy I guess because I haven't blogged for a long time. I actually never thought to which is odd.
But Caleb is doing great! He's been doing good since he came home. The weekend after he came home he was still a little groggy so he had a lot of relaxing and movie time. (something he rarely gets) He was back to normal after a few days and back to work! Caleb is now off of his antibiotics too. He's been doing GREAT at all his therapy sessions. He tried to crawl...or scoot himself while in a prone position. And he's doing great at speech therapy. He's using two switches now...one that says yes and the other says no. He's doing better and better every time. His therapists are trying to get him to be able to use only one hand at a time and to isolate his movements. Today he was sure trying! It was so funny too because every time he would press the button that he didn't mean to he would frown and make a mad face and then put his head down. He was trying so hard! His therapist even said that you can see that he really does understand but sometimes it's hard for him and he gets mad when he can't do what his mind wants to do. I assured him after his session of how proud I was of him that he kept trying and trying even when he made mistakes. He didn't give up! And when he finally really got into the activity he was doing...he had it mastered!

Brandon and I attended the funeral for the little girl, Destiny, that I mentioned in the previous blog. Wow...did that totally hit us. It reminded us, yet again how truly blessed we are to have Caleb with us. I'm not so sure that I would have been okay if Caleb hadn't made it...if we had to bury our little boy. We got a glimpse of what it feels like to lose our child but we definitely don't know how that is. And then on the news a little boy was killed from a car accident...gosh...I really can't imagine. Please continue to keep the family in your prayers. Also, Levi was discharged from the hospital last week too and is doing better. Thank you for keeping him in your prayers!

Caleb is a MIRACLE and we are SO very blessed to have him here with us even though life may be different and a little harder...it's ALL worth it. It won't be for long anyhow...God is healing him and I see that. Small steps for now...but it's a learning process for US.

I wanted to share a thought about Caleb...

Before his accident he had his favorite songs that he would ask me to play while riding in the car. One of them that he ALWAYS wanted to hear is called THE FIGHT by ANTHONY EVANS...he called it "Wasting my time" as that's a phrase in the song which he thought was the title. Anyways, he would sing along with it all the time. When I was pregnant with Micaiah and after Micaiah was born too, I would tell Caleb to sing to him when he cried. He would ALWAYS start singing that one song to him. It was so cute...and I never thought about it...the words...and the fact that he would sing that particular song over all the others he knew. Here are the lyrics:



There's a part of me no one sees

No one ever finds

There's a mystery deep inside

The constant struggling of who I am

And who I want to be I'm always trying to decide

And it feels like forever

It feels like I'm wasting my time



Then you

You opened up my eyes and now I see

That you

Will finish what you started here in me

So I choose

To follow you and leave it all behind

I'm not giving up this time

You're worth The Fight



In the heart of me I believe

That there will come a day

When every piece of my will be rearranged

I'm hopeful as I wait hanging on each word you say to me

I know I'm better off this way



Your worth

Every mountain I will have to climb

These wars raging in my soul and in my mind cause

I'm sure that one day

I'll be looking in your eyes

and that's worth the fight



After his accident I stayed away from listening to all of his favorite songs...the ones he loved to hear and sing because I would cry longing to hear him singing from the top of his lungs in the backseat as I drove. It was hard for me to even drive my car without having him in his car seat talking non stop. I missed it so much that I shut it out. It wasn't till maybe the later part of last year that I started to listen to this song again...laughing just remembering him singing it. I started to play it for him and sang the song to him. That's when I really made the connection of the words and the fact that this was his ultimate favorite song....and that he ALWAYS sang it to Micaiah.

That's amazing to me. I know that it's all God. HE knew what was to come and HE knows the FUTURE. This song totally fits Caleb and what he is going through and what is to come. I'm just so amazed of all the puzzle pieces that are coming together and it just brings a smile to my face. This song no longer makes me cry tears of sadness anymore but brings me a lot of joy. It reminds me that Caleb is okay. He is... It's us that have a hard time here and there. But he knows that it's all worth it and that it's going to be okay.

The first time I heard this song was when Anthony Evans came to our church to sing. He recently came again a few months ago. We weren't at church that weekend though...we were at a marriage retreat. We really wanted to meet him and tell him about Caleb and this song. Maybe next time.

Tomorrow we're going back to Keiki O Ka Aina which the boys are very excited about! (And Patrick too...haha!) I'm so sad that it will be ending for summer in two weeks. We will miss going.

I am going back to school starting next week. Please pray that I will get plenty of rest and time to study too. Pray that I will do well. I hope I do...it's something that I really want to do. I always wanted to be a nurse from when I was a little girl. After Caleb's accident, my passion became stronger. I want to be a PICU nurse one day! I want to be able to impact families just as all the nurses did for us. So yes, I am going to be finishing up my core requisites and then I will be applying for the Nursing Program at KCC for next fall. So please pray that I will be able to do that! It has been a tough decision for me. I want to do this so much and if I get into the KCC program it would only take me two years. The decision to go back to school was difficult because I'm scared of not being able to do it for various reasons and also that it would take time away from me being with my boys. I love being with them everyday, watching them accomplish new things. But I believe that this is something I need to do. I want to be able to share so much with others...I want to make an impact on others lives that are going through hard times, watching their child fight for their lives...I want to be able to give them hope in the Lord..to share with them the love of God and his endless abilities to do miracles! Prayers are what I will really need.

I was talking to Caleb today about him showing me that big smile that I miss so much and about talking...maybe saying, "mommy?" I told him that would be the best birthday present that I could ever get in the whole wide world! So he's working on it I'm sure. Even though Caleb can't "talk" it's so cute to see his facial expressions when I talk to him about something. It's his way of talking and he does really good at it.

One more thing before I end this "endless" blog...
We just made the decision to switch over all our nursing hours to Cradles N Crayons. I was getting tired of working with the other company...it gave me work that wasn't supposed to be mine. So I'm happy that we now only have one company and that Caleb's hours are being fitted very well. (We miss our nurse from the other company though.) But it lifted a lot of weight off of my shoulders. And we are going to be buying the walker (like the one in the picture above) from Abbie! Can't wait to get it...It will be really good for Caleb to use that more often.

Caleb still hasn't had an EEG since his recent hospitalization. I'm thinking about looking into becoming a technician. :) They seriously need one! Apparently there is only one person who does it and they were out while Caleb was in the hospital and now is sick so his appointment last week was cancelled. How nice. So we are still waiting...It would have been nice for them to do it when he was in the hospital already drugged up. But no, now they will have to sedate him when they do it....great. So I'm not sure yet when he will be getting it done but I will let you know so that you can specifically pray for him on that day for that particular reason.

Okay, I'm done....THANK YOU!