My emotions have been taking me on a rollercoaster... It's easy for me to recognize now all the signs of my emotional downs. It's been affecting me more though lately and I've discovered why. Micaiah will be a year old in a few days. While it should be a very happy moment for me, a part of me just cries and cries. It's been a year since Micaiah was born...I remember when I was pregnant with him...Caleb waiting for his little brother to come out of mommy's tummy so he could play with him...kissing my tummy all the time and talking to Micaiah before he was even born. When we brought him home from the hospital, Caleb was so loving to him...always kissing him, singing to him, wanting to hold him. Micaiah was still too little to play with but he showed him his love. And now the tables are turned. Caleb can't really play with Micaiah but Micaiah is always kissing him, rubbing his arm, showing love for his big brother. It's been a year...and I haven't been able to see my boys play together. I know it is a blessing to have what I do. I am very grateful for that. But what I had invisioned is not what is happening. I just want that more than anything!
Well, while my emotional rollercoaster has been forever going, I have been praying even more and God has been revealing a lot to me these past few days. He has been really checking my heart...we've definitely had many awesome conversations.
Brandon will be going back to work next week. I really wish that wouldn't have to happen but that time is here. It's going to be very very hectic. I don't even want to start thinking about it. Please pray for us during this transition. Pray that Caleb will also sleep very very well during the night so that I will not go insane and will be able to function properly to watch Micaiah all day and do whatever needs to be done. Caleb continues to show how strong he is with more head movements and continues to grunt. Pray for words. His nurse took him swimming again last week and said he turned his head and was looking at something. (it was his angels i think)
Caleb is doing very well with the lowering of his seizure medication. Thank you for your prayers and for continuing to pray for his stability as we continue to lower it until he is off. God is so faithful when we trust that he is in control.
Anyways, I am falling asleep as I write so I will blog again soon! bLESSINGS...RI
2 comments:
I know how hard it is to be on the Emotional Roller Coaster. I'm so thankful, as I'm sure you are, that we have a God to turn to on our "bad days." I can't even begin to imagine how people go down this road without Jesus right by their side, holding their hands all the way.
I'm sure glad to hear that weaning him off his seizure meds is going so good. He really is taking huge steps in the right direction. I will continue to pray that he will communicate more with words.
Be blessed today with good sleep!
Love in Christ,
Sue
Love in Christ,
Sue
Kehau and Brandon,
I've been reading your blogs ever since one of my sister's friends who goes to the same church as you said that you had one. It makes my heart soar when I read how much Caleb has improved since we last saw him in the hospital, and I find myself smiling at all his little milestones. Wyatt still remembers him and praying for him at his bedside. You are both doing an incredible job, I don't know how you do it, but I suppose the love for one's child can make anyone do extraordinary things.
The circumstances that brought our paths to cross are unfortunate on both our parts. However brief our interaction was with each other, you and your family will have a lasting impression on mine. The love and support that you've all given not only in your time of grief, but in ours as well, will always be remembered with heartfelt gratitude.
My prayers go out to not only Caleb, but for those of you who make his life so rich with all the love you give.
With much Aloha,
Brycie's Aunty (Wyatt's Mom)
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