Pray for Caleb

Help Patrick!

2012-01-30T00:49:00.000-08:00

2011-10-04T00:52:00.000-07:00

Thereʻs been many changes here in our home lately but things have finally settled in. We got a couple new nurses who are working out okay. Yes, Iʻm deeply saddened to report that Patrick is no longer Calebʻs home care nurse. But he will forever be a favorite uncle to our kids! We also lost another great nurse, Susan. But she will also forever be a part of our family. They are both exceptional nurses..hard to find and I miss them both very much! We also decided to switch nursing companies and that has lifted a huge stress off my shoulders! Iʻm enjoying that part.

Caleb had his 8th birthday a couple weeks ago and we got to go spend the day with "uncle Patrick" at his house on the water! It was a beautiful and relaxing day and the kids were so happy to see him! We had planned a little family celebration for Calebʻs birthday later that weekend but I got the stomach flu and we had to cancel. I hardly ever get sick and almost never get that sick to where I canʻt take care of myself or my kids. I think the last time was 2 1/2 years ago! It was really unpleasant but I got to sleep a lot! I donʻt remember the last time I slept so much!

Time has seemed to be flying by! Caleb is getting a lot better at tracking again. His little sister loves to cruise by him and sheʻs so good at not touching his trach! At least when Iʻm around. Sheʻs a smart little girl! I love watching my kids together. They are all such a blessing! Yes, it is often stressful, especially when Micaiah is not listening or Sarai is screaming or Micaiah is picking on his sister. But as stressful as it can get, I do enjoy it...ALL OF IT!

Caleb hasnʻt been sleeping well at all lately. Well, he never really has since his accident. But since his seizure in February, his sleeping patterns became worse. Now he usually goes to bed at about 7pm or sometimes a little later and wakes up at 10pm. Once in awhile heʻll sleep till midnight but he is ALWAYS up by midnight at least! So I really donʻt get ANY sleep anymore! Iʻve often been sleeping when Sarai takes her morning nap but then itʻs hard to get anything done. By the time we wake up we have enough time to eat and then need to pick up Micaiah from school then we have about an hour before the nurse leaves. Itʻs frustrating to have to choose between not getting sleep and getting out of the house or getting rest and not getting anything done. Iʻm tired all the time but I donʻt like not doing anything. Poor Caleb looks tired throughout the day too. The doctors canʻt really figure it out and we tried putting him on Ambien but it didnʻt work. I wish I could help him sleep because Iʻm sure he is miserable not being able to sleep at night too! Please pray that he will get RESTFUL sleep. Pray that whatever is hindering him from being able to sleep be cast out in the name of JESUS! This has been my prayer over and over for awhile now and Iʻll keep on believing that he is able to sleep well! Thanks and sorry for such a long overdue post. Please email me or comment to let me know if anyone out there is still reading this since I put a pause in my posting. :)

downs, downs...heading back UP.

2011-05-19T13:10:00.000-07:00

That devil is always prowling around trying to steal, kill, and destroy! It is so true! And he comes in many forms when you least expect it! Fighting him off is a constant and tiring battle. But all things are possible WITH God! So here I am! I'm in charge of my own actions and what I do for God in my earthly life so I no longer choose to be enslaved by those who try to destroy all that God has in store for Caleb, me, my family, and all those who read about Caleb's journey. May you continue to be blessed through his ups and downs but most of all encouraged by a little 7 year old boy's perseverance!

I gave birth to our baby girl, Sarai, on January 26th. I was blessed to have a quick (but of course very painful) birth. Especially since I did it all natural! She has been such a sweet blessing and beautiful addition to our family.

Two weeks after Sarai was born, Caleb spiked a fever all of a sudden in the middle of the night. There were no signs of him being sick prior to this. In less than half an hour after his fever came on he started to seize. I called 9-1-1 and continued to monitor him as he seized although there was not much I could do. His seizure didn't stop even after the paramedics arrived and loaded him up with vallium. It didn't stop till he got to the hospital which probably totaled up to at least 15mins of him seizing. They found out that he had a really bad pneumonia after some chest xrays and was admitted to the PICU again. When the PICU Dr. called me at home he did not have good news. He said it was really bad and didn't give me much hope in him coming through this one. As you can imagine, my emotions were going wild! I was crying, scared, surprised...and I just had a baby too! I started to pray and pray. My mom came over to watch the two little ones so I could go to the hospital to see him. When they showed me his xrays I could see that his lungs were filled and totally whited out. Caleb was back on a bunch of machines and tons of medications. It brought back memories of when he was initially in the PICU. But he's such a fighter...He was discharged from the PICU 4 days later. When he came home he was back on a bunch of seizure medications again and it made him groggy pretty much all day. A week later (with his neurologist's support) we lowered his phenobarbital (seizure med). A few days later he started to twitch constantly. His whole body would twitch all day and it looked like he was having a seizure but his pupils were reacting and his blood oxygen levels and heart rate were all fine. I took him back to the ER where they told me that he was not having seizures and sent us home.

A couple days after that his twitching movements continued all day, non stop, except when he was sleeping. So I called his neurologist and demanded that he see him in his office that day. When we took him in his neurologist said it was seizures so we were ordered to go to the ER so they could load him up with medication and see if it would stop. It didn't. He was admitted to the regular floor once again. They tried using medications to stop it but nothing worked. They did an EEG and it showed it wasn't seizures. He was discharged after 4 days and his twitching continued. We kept following up with neurologist and finally he was diagnosed with Myoclonic movements. He took a really big blow with the big seizure he had and this was the result. They put him on medication to control it and it started to decrease and eventually stopped. He then became really hypertonic and spastic so we had a hard time doing even his daily stretches. His PT suggested we not put him in his wheelchair unless absolutely necessary and his cares changed dramatically. I never thought of him regressing so this has been really, really hard.

Now Caleb is doing much better. He is easier to stretch and we have started to slowly take him out more again. It was so hard to have to change to do things without him! Things aren't back to "normal" yet but I believe that it will get there and better!

There have been so many changes this year and lots of unhappy things in our lives it's been a bit harder to keep a smile on my face. I'm so exhausted of being slammed down every time I get back on my feet with a REAL smile.

I'm smiling...I am. And I'll always be hopeful because it is who I am and I can because of HIM who gives me hope even through the darkest of days...

I'm BACK!!!

2011-03-29T00:08:00.001-07:00

So, I've decided to move on with life and start sharing again! There is so many things that have happened with Caleb. Unfortunately it hasn't been so good. When Satan attacks...he really attacks hard! Especially when we let our guard down!

Please comment if you still check this and I'll go ahead and post an update! Even if it's just one person commenting...I'll post even for one! :)

Last one...for now

2010-12-22T10:36:00.000-08:00

When I started this blog, the intention was to keep family and friends informed of Caleb's progress. I continued to do it to bring Glory to God through our new journey. I opened up my heart and shared freely with the world all our ups and downs that we were enduring and God has graciously brought us through every storm.

I'm sad to say that this blog was recently used for evil and therefore I have decided to stop. I was going to delete it completely but I know that one day I will be able to pick up those pieces, put it all behind me and continue to share freely about all the things God is doing in Caleb's lives as well as ours.

If you have been a follower of my blogs and would still like to know how Caleb is doing, please feel free to email me at prayforcaleb@yahoo.com I would gladly share with you (privately) how Caleb is doing.

Keep on checking though! I'm praying that one day soon I will be able to start blogging again! Satan does NOT have a foothold on me or my family. This will all pass. Please continue to pray for our little miracle, our family, and for Brandon and I to always walk in the ways of the Lord.

God Bless You!

Bunch of Hallelujahs!

2010-11-02T00:03:00.001-07:00

At the Blue Angels show.
Singing happy birthday at Caleb's party.
Caleb's 7th Birthday!
Me and my boys on one of our special family nights watching fireworks

In September we celebrated Caleb's 7th Birthday! We just had a small family party for him which he seemed to enjoy much better. The day of his birthday, Patrick and I took Caleb to the Planetarium. He loves looking up at all the stars and learning how to navigate the way Hawaiians do! He'll be ready to sail a canoe in no time! :) He had a "starry" birthday, with his party being on the beach under the night sky, ending in a fireworks show that I know they made extra special for him! :) We also took the boys to watch the blue angels that weekend and had great family time together.

October brought lots of business that still has not ceased. We've had a lot of downs but God always pulls through. Last weekend we gave our testimony at New Hope Windward. I danced hula for Jesus again too! (It's been too long.) We enjoyed ourselves and always love meeting new people and hearing their stories, words of encouragement, or how our testimony affected them. With this also came some trials. Caleb started to get sick a couple of times. I was on my knees in the late night hours and dark mornings praying and thanking Jesus for his healing! And praise God...he bounced right back! Hallelujah!

In the last couple of months we have had a lot of missed days of nursing which has been hard on my back. We also lost one of our regular nurses and I was just worried that we would not find another nurse to replace her soon enough. But we did! And everything seems to be working out just fine now! Another Hallelujah!

Caleb's therapy at the hospital has been approved after a re-evaluation and his nursing hours or level of care will not be changed this time around either! I think I'm in heaven! ;)

Our baby girl's arrival is approaching fast! I need to get a move on gathering what we need for her! Micaiah has started to ask if he could share rooms with his brother again. Brandon and I have been talking about the pros and cons of putting them in the same room again. And after I had a long talk with Caleb and Micaiah about it tonight, those boys just melted my heart again! I shared with Brandon what Micaiah had said and we decided that we will be letting them share a bedroom again. Micaiah says his (current) room is for his baby sister. Caleb and Micaiah do have a special bond...and we're just gonna go with it! The 'cons' of them being in the same room are being thrown out the window. The pros? ...mostly brotherly love. And I'm not about to stop that!

We spent our halloween at our house with family and few friends over. It was our first time having that many people over to our house and we definitely enjoyed it! We took the boys walking around the neighborhood for some candy...just for fun, since we gave it all away after! No candy for them! They were happy since I alternatively gave them a little gift in exchange! Micaiah said bye to all his candy...literally...and happily too!

In 10 days I will be leaving to attend a mother's retreat in Seattle, Washington! I've been so blessed by everyone helping me out financially to get me there and for Patrick, my mom, and mother-in-law who will be helping out Brandon to "cover me" while I'm gone! This retreat is with 11 other mothers from different parts of the US who has a child that had a near drowning. I'm so excited to meet these other women and to be able to share the things we go through! I'm sure going to miss my 3 boys but it's only for a few days! Please pray for my family's health and for everyone who will be helping out while I'm gone. Also for me and all the other mom's that will be attending. I'd really appreciate some extra prayers! It's going to be busy for me up until I leave and busy when I get back! I hope I'll be able to get some real sleep and relaxation too! I don't even know what that feels like anymore!

Thank you and God Bless...

**My camera cord is hiding from me so I can't upload the pictures from last weekend when we shared our testimony or halloween pictures. But when it decides to show up, I'll post them. Caleb was Bumble Bee (the transformer) and Micaiah was Optimus Prime (another transformer). We recorded Bumble Bee "talking" on Caleb's switch and he really got into character! Especially when we were at people's door getting candy! It was great.

God chose me...

2010-08-18T01:56:00.001-07:00

Micaiah likes to snuggle with Caleb in his bed
Hanging out with Daddy on the pier in beautiful Hakipu'u
Stretching with Uncle Patrick
Clowning around...
Look at Caleb's face! He has a little smirk! They love our family picnic nights on the beach watching the fireworks show!

I thought it was about time for a new post! ;/ So sorry!

Things have been spectacular but I've been a little lazy! Since my last post, we have moved again! We found an affordable house for rent in my old neighborhood on the exact street I grew up on! We quickly got the place, moved in, and slowly settled in making it our home! We all love it and it's been great for the boys! There's lots more space now and Caleb and Micaiah have their own rooms! However, when we initially moved in, Micaiah did not like having his own room. He kept asking if he could sleep with his brother. But after a week he adjusted to it and has been sleeping a lot better being in his own room.

I sometimes think that it is hard for some people to have a relationship with Caleb. It's understandable. Especially with his cousins and other kids who once "knew" him and played with him. Their kids...and it's different for them. It's probably a lot harder for adults. I can totally see how it would be hard. It doesn't make me sad to the point I want to cry and I know he has so much going for him so it doesn't bother me much. We love him as we always have and try as much as we can to do what we can with him. One thing I absolutely LOVE is watching and hearing Micaiah love his big brother. When I think about the things he does it melts my heart, makes me cry tears of joy, and makes me think that I wish I could see what Micaiah sees. Micaiah was only 3 months old when Caleb drowned so he never had the "normal relationship" with Caleb as others had. (Maybe that's why?) Yet, his brother is HIS BROTHER in EVERY normal way! He's such a big help too now, wanting to help suction him (we only let him turn on/off the machine though), getting things for his brother, helping Caleb put his head up, wiping his brother's mouth, wanting his brother out in the living room by him when he gets to watch a movie, talking to him, etc... I'm so happy that I get to see my boys being loving brothers. God has truly given us special little gifts.

Speaking of special little gifts... We are expecting another little blessing in January! Caleb and Micaiah will be welcoming their little SISTER in no time! We are all very excited. Along with my excitement comes fear, worry, and the "how can I do this all?"...But with prayer, those feelings subside quickly for I know I can do ANYTHING with God! When Brandon and I talked about having another baby and life in general we said we would not live life as if we were being held down or as if we believed Caleb would be this way forever. It has been 3 1/2 years...but we are still holding onto our faith, growing in our faith, and learning to see Caleb through God's eyes. Caleb is healed and we will live our lives forever as what our faith and God's word tells us. I don't know how long that will take for us to live completely what we believe and we don't know what the future holds. But we do know that God has awesome plans for our beautiful son and our family. And knowing that is what keeps us moving forward everyday.

Caleb recently started going back to speech therapy and has been doing excellent! He certainly did not fall behind being out of therapy for so long! I'm so proud of him in all that he does. He continues to get all his therapies at the hospital and through the DOE at our house. We are still searching for a new tutor but it's hard to come by one that works well with Caleb! He is also in another school since we moved. I'm hoping one day that he can go to school with his own nurses. They are so not understanding when it comes to that. It's so frustrating but whatever! I'll continue to pray on that one!

I recently watched "Letters to God." It melted me and I cried throughout the entire movie. One of my favorite lines from the movie was when the little boy told his mom that God chose her to be his mommy. Gosh, am I eternally grateful that God chose me to be Caleb's mommy (and Micaiah, and the baby too!) When I do my devotions, I often write it as though it's a letter to God. However, this movie changed my way of writing my own letters to God and my thoughts on life in general! It's a great movie...check it out! :)

God chose me. God chose Brandon. God chose Caleb. God chose Micaiah. God chose us all as a family. I could easily dwell on what could have been, what was, and live as though we did not have a future or a hope. But we serve an awesome God that does not allow that in our lives and he refreshes our faith every moment we let Him. I don't hate life. I love it. I love everything about it. Yes, I'm tired all the time and it is stressful but learning to not let that bring my joy down is something I have only been able to do through our mighty God. Only tears of joy is what I have! Thanks God, for choosing me and for choosing my family!

We won!!! Praising Him!

2010-05-27T13:59:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, my status on facebook read, "If we win, we praise HIM. If we lose, we praise HIM." -Facing the Giants

I wrote this not necessarily for a particular area of our lives but to sum it all up together. No matter what...in EVERYTHING we will Praise HIM. Good or bad.

That quote was the perfect thing for this week. We've always praised HIM through the bad and we are being blessed with so many great things now...and praising HIM.

This morning I received a call from Evercare asking if I still wanted the medical records on Caleb that I had requested since our appeal was overturned in our favor. As soon as these words left the mouth of the person on the other side of the phone I gasped. I said, "Wait, our appeal? The one for RN's? It was overturned in our favor? So does that mean we win? We get our RN's?" She said, "Yes, I believe so. Is that the only appeal you made?" I said, "Yes, that is the only one but can you make sure that what you are telling me is right?" She said, "Sure" and put me on hold to double check. When she came back on the line she said, "yes, the appeal was decided in your favor so you will get RN's instead of LPNs." We are praising God and are so amazed by Him.

The odd thing about this is that I haven't even sent in my official appeal letter and supporting documents. I was working hard on editing the letter, gathering supporting letters from doctors and nurses, and more information from Caleb's history with the help from the wonderful people at Attention Plus (one of our nursing agencies) who were very active in helping us through this appeal. I did send in a letter saying that I wanted to appeal and that I was gathering more information and supporting documents and would be sending it in within the 30 days allotted. I also sent in a letter requesting documents on Caleb obtained that aided them in making this decision and saying that Attention Plus was assisting me and that I give them permission to view all documents.

It's amazing. That's all there is to it. The battle hadn't even really begun and we won? I was willing to take this all the way! I was ready to battle! Praise God for hearing our prayers and putting a stop to the storm. I feel like I can breathe again and the fresh air is so lovely. God is amazing. He always continues to amaze me and we are so undeserving of his blessings.

We want to continue to somehow help out other parents who are facing the same challenges and may think they do not have a fight or have no voice. We'd really like to share with them the steps we've taken in standing up for what Caleb deserves. But really, I believe that it is all thanks to lots of prayer and faith and trust in God. That was our foundation before starting this appeal. We said, "We're trusting in God. Whatever happens, whether in our favor or not, we will praise Him and trust that he still has a plan." We were at peace knowing that we would be okay either way.

It is official by the way! We received the letter today confirming that RN services for Caleb will be received! In the letter that Evercare sent, it says that based on the medical documents received, they have changed their decision! I don't know what documents they received but praise the LORD!

New Hope Oahu showed a video this past weekend before the message in which we were a part of. They did a wonderful job putting it together. Like I mentioned before, there are always attacks from the enemy before, during, and after we give a testimony. Always! Caleb has been sick for so long. He got really sick again the day before they came to video. But early in the morning that day and throughout the day he was perfectly fine. Later that night his fever came back, he was back on oxygen, and really was not doing well by Saturday morning. He's been battling sickness but is finally a lot better now! I was so tired from being up with Caleb so many nights and for all the extra care that came with him being sick for so long. We were being attacked, no doubt. Then came another big bang between Brandon and I. It's such a struggle but praise God that he is so faithful in speaking to us. We struggle through a lot everyday and Jesus understands. Satan really wants to separate us and we can easily recognize that. We often don't mind giving into that thought sometimes to be honest. But in reality that is just not an option. It is hard and it will continue to be a struggle. But we learn through it and that's what matters the most. God's shaping us into his big plan as we tread through this wilderness in our lives and in our marriage. I already look back at how far we come and can really say that it has been God all along. I'm excited to share the great news years ahead from now. I don't know how anyone could not see God through it all. It's just not possible without God. Marriage is hard period. It takes a lot of work and in our culture today it says to just give it up. Giving up would be easy. Just like giving up on life or any storms that we may go through. But giving up never gets us anywhere. Never. That's why we choose to never give up on our faith through any area of our lives no matter how hard it may get. There is ALWAYS a way through it....ALWAYS.

I took Caleb to an appointment with his neurologist yesterday. He's such a great doctor! He said that Caleb's last EEG showed no seizure activities. He then asked me if we wanted to start weaning him off of his phenobarbital med (seizure med). I said yes of course I do. He said that he thinks it's a really good choice to do so. So he cut his med in half and from there we will be weaning him down 1mL every month which means he will be off of it by the end of the year! We will be praying through it and trusting God that Caleb does not need this medicine and that he will never have a seizure for the rest of his life. (He's had three febrile seizures in the past when he got sick.) After he is completely off of this med he will have to have another EEG which is, as his dr. said, "the most important one." I also asked him about weaning him off of baclofen (used for spasticity) and he said we could when we want to and that it wouldn't be as hard as weaning him off the phenobarb. I'm so excited to get him off all his meds. I know they really aren't good for him. This will take an extra amount of faith and trust in God. But I'm ready....We are ready...

Thank you all for praying along with us through this journey of life. We're blessed to be walking alongside all of you till the end. God Bless you all!

Here is the link for the video which I've also posted on the side bar by the other videos: http://vimeo.com/12032444

Look at me! Posting another blog in the same week! =)

2010-05-20T19:56:00.000-07:00

Pictures as promised :)

Caleb and his new baby BOY cousin

Micaiah happily coloring easter eggs

Caleb and I coloring easter eggs!

Caleb was happy to celebrate Uncle Patrick's birthday with him @ home!

Us and our wonderful new friends who took us canoe sailing! (That's the canoe in the back)

It was such a fun-filled day!

Micaiah posing for his photographer...Uncle Patrick

I'm surprised at myself for posting another blog in the same week! Yay me! It's been a hectic week. I'm glad that one of our nursing agencies is helping me out so much with this appeal. It's very likely that it will be denied by the insurance company which is not surprising. But we are planning to go all the way in our appeal which means taking it to the state afterwards and having to get a lawyer. I have high hopes of winning this appeal and know that I am doing it in the best interest of Caleb. I am his voice and I will fight for him in everything and not let my guard down. Although, this is all in God's hands and I definitely recognize that. I've always trusted that his plans are greater than mine and will continue to do so through this all till the end.

We had a fun-filled family day at the zoo this past weekend. We enjoy taking the boys out to different kids places. They get really excited when we do things with just the four of us. We've gone back to our Friday Fireworks family picnic on the beach. It's so much fun for us all and we're glad that they started doing it every friday again. Micaiah woke up from his nap on Sunday with a fever that was accompanied by lots of coughing. I took him to the dr. but they said it was probably viral. I used all my homeopathic remedies which helped with the fever and all but ended up having to put him on albuterol because his breathing didnt sound so great. Caleb just finished his antibiotics from his pneumonia that he had started a couple weeks ago. Last night he showed that he had caught his brother's cold once again. He's been fighting fevers and is now on very little oxygen and his trach mist collar. Patrick was quick on deciding how to handle him today and boy do I feel so much better when I know I have the best nurses watching my son while he's sick. What a relief! I'll be watching him very closely through the night once again and will be monitoring his fevers which means no sleep for me again! But that gives me all the more time to pray over him and lots of storytime!

We were asked if we would do a video for New Hope Oahu for this weekend's service. It's kind of like a "follow up" video. They will be coming to our house tomorrow to film (if all goes well with Caleb through the night which I am very hopeful of). I knew that when we said yes that along with that would come more trials. Caleb just got sick again which is a trial in itself. We're praying through it all and I hope we will be prepared and be able to see the "attacks" that come along with giving testimonies. I'm praying that I will recognize it and rebuke it before it escalates. We'd be grateful if you could pray for us too! If you don't attend New Hope Oahu then you can see the video at www.enewhope.org this weekend or after.

Thank you for your prayers! God Bless...

2010-05-14T01:27:00.001-07:00

On March 6th we CELEBRATED Caleb's "Re-Birthday" as we have for the past three years. I'm so glad we choose to celebrate this day every year. Instead of dreading this day, we look forward to it. We don't dwell on what we "lost" that day but rejoice in what we gained and WON that day! The enemy was defeated on March 6, 2007 and continues to be defeated everyday!

We enjoyed having family and friends over to celebrate Caleb's life with us. Each year the number of people are fewer but there are always some new faces. We are so blessed for all the people in our lives who have and continue to pray for Caleb and our family and whom support us in various ways.

Towards the ending of March we were informed that Evercare (the insurance co. for medically fragile kids) would be decreasing the level of care for Caleb from RN to LPN. This means that all our current nurses would no longer be able to take care of Caleb. We were devastated. We've been so spoiled and wonderfully blessed to have such skilled nurses. Patrick is a part of our family and to take him away from being able to see Caleb so often every week would affect Caleb greatly. Caleb usually doesn't cry but when Patrick was talking about it, he started to cry. Evercare is taking drastic measures to cut back on services for kids who really need it to cut costs. We chose to appeal this matter and it has been a migraine for me the past month! It's so ridiculous that no one in the company can get their story straight and I'm constantly making calls and going around in circles. Choosing to appeal this was a leap of faith. I don't know of anyone who has appealed it and our nursing agency does not know of anyone who has done this also. So we chose to fight. The biggest problem would be that if we lose, we have to pay back the costs of RN's during that appeal process. I will be mailing in my appeal letter on Saturday. Please pray over this matter for us. My life would change a lot if our appeal were denied...but Caleb's life is what's most important. Thinking about him and how it will affect him brings me to tears.

We all got quite a treat one weekend in April! Patrick took us to his friend's house in Hakipu'u. Terry and Nakoa were so gracious and wonderful for letting us hang out at their beautiful home on the water and took us canoe sailing on the canoe Nakoa built. Caleb had so much fun sitting up front on his daddy's lap. His face lit up as the wind brushed across his face. He certainly loves the water! Micaiah was calmed by the ride and started to fall asleep. It was a beautiful day for us all after such a stressful week! We can't wait to go again!

I'm sorry I haven't posted for three months but I hope someone out there is still checking this blog at some point! I'm usually too exhausted to think and write.

It's been stressful for me with the cutbacks that are occurring but I'm confident that God is with us and I know that whatever happens, he will take care of it all.

We had to take Caleb into the ER a couple sunday's ago. He had a fever that kept going up and needed a bit of oxygen. In the past he has went downhill pretty quickly so after seeing that he was getting worse we decided to take him in. I really don't know what he had but they admitted him and he stayed for two days. They thought he might be at a start of a pneumonia. They took blood tests but nothing too much out of the norm. They also did a culture of his secretions and had expected something to grow in it...but it didn't. He was up to 5 liters of oxygen by the time he was in the ER. But by the next day we started to wean him and was completely of oxygen by the following night. He finished his antibiotics but never got completely better. By the following Thursday he wasn't doing so good again. We decided to take him in to see his doctor. Patrick suspected that he had a pneumonia. The doctor also did. So his doc put him on the antibiotics that Patrick suggested. We also had to take him to get xrays and blood tests again. By the following day Caleb was new little boy! He looked 100% better and was back at his baseline.

Yesterday Caleb had an appointment with his surgeon who put in his trach and gtube. As I mentioned previously, this doctor said he thinks Caleb doesn't need his trach anymore. We had went in to talk about this issue again. Since all of Caleb's past pneumonias has been due to a trachietis infection, the dr said that he thinks it would be better for him. Well his doctor said we could just pull it out and see how he does. He was confident that he would do just fine. I thought he would have to be hospitalized and watched closely for at least a 24 hour period. But the dr caught me off guard when he calmly said, "no, I can just pull it out right now. We can go grab a bite to eat at the cafe and come back and see how he's doing!" My jaw dropped and I was speechless. So he said, "okay, let's try it. i'll just pull it out and we can see how he does." Well, he pulled it out and covered up the hole. Caleb didn't cough at all during that time which concerned the dr so he put it back in after awhile. As soon as he did that Caleb turned and looked straight at me with eyes that said, "I didn't do it. I'm sorry I didn't do it." That melted me...but I assured him that it was okay. We were both caught off guard and I told him he WILL do it! His dr is so great. He didn't discourage the thought afterwards. Instead he said, he needs more time...he needs hours of this to get used to it. His doctor is still confident that he can do it and to hear that from a doctor after that is music to my soul. So we will be scheduling a day to do this at home. Patrick will be making arrangements to stay with Caleb for a 24 hour period during that time to ensure that everything goes well. The downfall in doing this is that if Caleb does not do well during this then he could get another pneumonia. But he already gets pneumonias often so it's worth the try. I've started to pray hard about this situation. Caleb and the rest of us has waited so long for this. We know that nothing is impossible with God. Please pray in faith with us and I will surely post when we will be doing it once we know.

Oh yes! And we got our new van! It's almost exactly like our old one except that the ramp is better. It slides out from under the floor rather than folding up. Caleb's wheelchair should be fixed tomorrow and we'll be all set! I finally drove through the intersection that our accident occurred. I had the boys with me too. I prayed before and through it all and felt like I achieved something when I did it. It was a fear for me since it all happened. But finally going through that exact place brought me much relief and peace. Praising God through it all!

PS. My pictures wouldn't upload so I'll have to try it again later...

It was all worth it!

2010-02-21T23:10:00.000-08:00

Caleb, excited for his Dolphin Encounter

Micaiah's happiness after "playing" with the dolphins

Micaiah's turn...

All of us up close...

Caleb and Uncle Patrick with the dolphins

Caleb and Micaiah got an unexpected treat this past weekend! Kapiolani Hospital and Sea Life Park started a special program, "dolphin therapy!" It is sponsored by both the hospital and SLP which allows special needs kids and their siblings and families to play with the dolphins. The boys were so excited about that day, especially Caleb. He was excited everytime we talked about it and was told all week prior that he had to do his school work if he wanted to see the dolphins. When they got up to the water, Micaiah got scared and didn't want to go in next to his brother. But the trainers were so kind and took Micaiah for a special show after it was all done. He got to touch the dolphins and see them jumping so close, we thought they were going to jump out of the tank! It was a great day! There is also a small picture in the The Honolulu Advertiser today which Caleb, Micaiah, and Patrick are in.

We've noticed recently that Caleb has been moving a lot more. So much more that we're worried he may fall out of his bed one day! This past week I had him on the floor mat and was doing some physical therapy with him. I was working on his legs when he started to move his arms a lot. He lifted his arm up with his hand stretching considerably over his head. Something I haven't seen him do before. His arm movements and flexibility has improved in the last couple of weeks. Caleb's physical therapist from the DOE has been doing a weight bearing therapy technique she recently learned. I don't actually know much about it yet, but I can definitely see the difference in him! Praise God!

We are now reaching the point of settling with our insurance for the loss of our van. Our insurance company is refusing to pay for our wheelchair accessible van. They are instead, quoting us for a regular sienna van which is a major price difference and a total rip off for us. Its so frustrating I really rather not deal with it...but I must. Wheelchair accessible vans are so expensive. Brand new they can cost up to 60 to $70,000. Of course, we are not looking to buy a brand new one but imagine what a used one can cost based on that! The amount they quoted for our van is not even half the amount of what a used one costs! We are blessed that the Vara Family are loaning us Abby's carseat so we can take Caleb around still and that works fine. But Caleb has to be in his jogging stroller everywhere we go and he can't see much in there so he gets frustrated. His wheelchair also has damage and needs to be sent to the mainland for repairs. Another cost that will be out of our empty pockets. To me the wheelchair looks fine, but we had it checked out by the experts, who of course know much more then me when it comes to that, and he said there are a lot of dents. There's not much that we can physically do about this situation but we can pray and believe that God will help us in the matter. Caleb walking is what I'm believing...heck, we won't have a problem at all there now, would we! "Is anything to hard for the Lord...?" Genesis 18:14

This is just another mountain of adversity for us. When things involve big amounts of money it's hard to not get caught up in it and stressed out. But it all works out. It is harder but it works. And PRAISE GOD that our boys were untouched!

I finally met with our new case manager. I was very upset with the whole meeting but realized after that I hadn't given her a chance. It wasn't her fault after all. Our previous case manager never updated Caleb's files. First off, she went to the wrong house (file not updated...we moved 7 months ago). Left me a message and gave me an indirect phone number to call her back in which I got through to no one but a recording. But she called me back again later when my dad saw them and told them we moved. Secondly, they thought Micaiah was Caleb?! huh? seriously? yes, I'm serious. Third, Caleb is four? Yes, 2 and a half years ago!!! That's just what his files said. Again, not at all her fault. But that goes to show how much "work" our previous case manager did!

Well...Caleb is STILL waiting on authorization for PT, ST, and soon OT. Oh, and not to mention a bath chair and stander! Too bad we didn't get it before the economy started to go down. I really tried to push our case manager (at the time) before the switchover in medical. But we all know how well that goes. Again, all things that I do not have to worry about. (REMINDER TO SELF) Because... standing in faith in God, Caleb does not need it!!!

I'm often amazed by Micaiah's actions towards Caleb and the things he says. (Often when they are "alone" or at least expected moments). When we pray together before bedtime, I often just want to cry hearing Micaiah's prayer! The things he says in his prayer amaze me, especially because he is only 3! He's a little prayer warrior when it comes to our family! And then he adds in other family and random people sometimes! Like he gets a prompting that they need prayer or something. I never interrupt his prayer or add or take away from it. I just let him pray whatever comes to mind.

Micaiah knows how to silence Caleb's pulse oximeter alarm now. Which is not really a good thing. Although, I constantly tell him that he needs to ask first before doing it and explained to him why. He has thus far and he seems to understand the reasoning behind it.

During a conversation, my mom had told Micaiah that Caleb used to say, "oh great, just great!" Micaiah's response was, "he used to talk?, did he used to walk too? He hit his head really hard, yeah?"

I don't know where he got that last statement but we did suspect that Caleb hit his head and fell into the pool. (He had a scab on the back of his head which we did not notice when he was in the hospital until we cut his hair which was probably about 3 or 4 weeks after his drowning.) I thought that he might have picked up on it hearing it from us. But we haven't mentioned that since he was probably a baby.

In the Bible, "Micaiah" is a great prophet who does not waiver in what God speaks to him when all the other "great prophets" do just to please the king. Micaiah's Hawaiian name means, "the strong righteous waters of this great era"...I'm beginning to think we named him Perfectly.

A couple weeks ago, Patrick held Caleb up next to Micaiah in a standing position to show him how much bigger Caleb is next to him. (It looked like Caleb was standing.) Micaiah lit up when he saw his big brother standing and said, "yay! you can walk! we can go play soccer now!" (I had to hold back the tears that built up)

In less than two weeks we will be CELEBRATING Caleb's 3rd "re-birthday." Three years since he died...and was given back to us by the gracious hands of God. I think I can honestly say, I am looking forward to it.

I'm moving forward and continuing to fight this fight as best as I can WITH GOD. That is all I can do and is all that I must do. Many of our circumstances push me to want to give it all up. But, for what? It's worth it in the end... And in the end, I know I will say, "It was all worth it!"

Singing a NEW psalm

2010-01-29T11:06:00.000-08:00

Daddy and Caleb @ North Shore
Christmas Day
Mochi making day! With powdery faces!
a Saturday afternoon with my boys (while daddy works OT to pay the bills!)
Christmas Picture 2009 by Patrick Doyle

You could probably guess a couple reasons as to why I haven't blogged since November and most likely be right. I have written a couple of half done entries in the past few months but never finished and posted it. But things are a little better now so I thought that if anyone still checks this then I better fill them in.

We had a great Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's despite the stress that came in many forms. I've realized many things in the past few months which has put me on an emotional roller coaster all by myself. I've realized the things that I need to do for myself to keep me sane and am trying to balance it all out.

I'm constantly thinking about the budget cuts going on and how much harder it will be if more nursing hours are cut. Caleb is currently not getting physical or speech therapy either and he was doing so well up until his last authorized visits. I can't understand how they can take away nursing hours from us and many other families or therapy sessions which all these kids need so much! In this world of medical insurance there is just no heart or understanding for the kids who really need it all.

On January 3rd, I was heading home from church with Caleb and Micaiah. We were a block away from our church when I ran a yellow light (which turned red as soon as I passed through). I realized what I had done and the first thing that came to mind was speed up and make it through the intersection. So I did. The car that was coming in the farthest lane before I got all the way across the intersection hit our van right in the middle. (Where Caleb sits.) Our van spun, flipped, and ended up laying on its (passengers) side, facing the opposite direction in which we were heading and knocking down the traffic light. It all happened so fast. I knew we were going to get hit just before we did and all I remember is looking back at my boys as we quickly flipped. GOD WAS WITH US. There is no doubt about that. I quickly unstrapped myself and tended to the boys. Micaiah was sitting in his carseat still strapped in and perfectly fine. I talked to him as I unstrapped Caleb who was also still strapped into his wheelchair but very uncomfortably. There were people who surrounded us to help. A man came through what was previously our back window and unstrapped Micaiah and took him out. (which is one of the two things that traumatized him the most). We were all taken by ambulance to the ER which was right by where our accident had occurred. Micaiah and I were released within an hour with no injuries. Micaiah didn't even have a scratch on him and was back to his rascal self in 2 hours! For Caleb, they had to do xrays and a cat scan so it took a bit longer but he had no injuries either. Just a tiny scratch above his lip (which went away within 3 days) and a small bruise on his right hand. The MIRACLE tally is sure adding up in our family! Our very expensive wheelchair accessible van however was not as fortunate. It is totaled. I can't even describe how grateful I was that my boys were completely unharmed. God is GREAT! But I still burried myself in an emotional pit. Thoughts plagued my mind... "It was my fault." "I could have lost both of my boys." "How could I?" "What ifs.." "Now we're gonna suffer even more financially..." The list goes on... But Brandon knew all that I was feeling and brought me out of the pit. I felt so much better after talking to him about it all and was able to start moving on from the horrible thoughts and what ifs to WHAT IS. And I am more than thankful for WHAT IS.

Caleb has been doing well in every way. Micaiah got pneumonia and we tried our best to keep them separated. We thought Caleb was getting sick because he needed to be on 1 liter of oxygen for about 24 hours but was able to come off of it. We checked his temperature frequently to make sure too. It could have been the horrible vog that was bothering Caleb.

Micaiah loves school. I am happy about that but also frustrated. We can't afford it and we already owe his school money. I thought about taking him out of school but he deserves to be there. His first two years of life revolved around Caleb and his appointments and care. And when I asked him if he wanted to stay home and not go to school anymore he said "No, I like school." Micaiah asks to go to school now and is excited about it. He even asked me if he could go to computer class (which we were previously sending him to) but can no longer afford it. If we could use a credit card to pay for his school that would work. But of course we would be putting ourselves in a lot of debt too. This all brings me back to..."If only I could work" or "If only I could finish school"...but then, how could I work anyways? And the load of frustrations start to uproot again.

God's promises are greater than I know. So despite all that has happened and the thoughts and feelings that have been plaguing me, I know that the one thing that I have to look forward to is all of HIS promises.

On the brighter side, Caleb recently had a follow up visit with his ENT on Tuesday and then the surgeon that did his trach and gtube on Wednesday. His ENT said that she doesn't think he is ready to be decanulated which was expected. But his surgeon, whom we last saw at the end of 2007 said otherwise. He had also told us somewhat the same thing the last time we took Caleb in to see him just not as in depth as this time. He says he highly believes that Caleb does not need his trach and explained to us all the reasons that support his suspicion. I excitedly agreed and so did Caleb. He said he just has a different philosophy and respects and sees where his other doctor is coming from. But it all made sense when he explained everything and we certainly agree! Caleb has never aspirated or had an aspirated pneumonia. Having a trach makes it easier to get a regular pneumonia. Hmmm. That's quite familiar. Everytime he has gone back into the hospital was from a pneumonia that developed in his trachea or from a cold! Of course, there are downfalls to having his trach removed. But I'm going to trust in God that it will all work out! I know that Caleb does not need it too and Caleb has waited so long for it to come out! So we will soon start to wean him off of the trach by putting something that will prohibit him from breathing through his trach. It's about time!

They also weighed and measure Caleb and he is at the 25% for his age but lower than 5% for his BMI. But the doctor said that the main thing is that he is growing. He does not need more calories to fatten him up! He just has a really high metabolism like Brandon and Micaiah. He has sure sprouted in height over the past several months!

Our weekly bible study group is going through psalms in which we all pick our favorite one and study one of them a week. We also have a portion in the psalm in which we hold one another accountable to memorize week after week. This past week we studied psalm 40 which was so wonderfully appropriate for my life at the moment. Our memory verse is psalm 40: 1-3

"I waited patiently for the Lord;

he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

out of the mud and mire;

he set my feet on a rock

and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth,

a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear

and put their trust in the Lord."

This has been one of my favorite verses for awhile but this time it has given me a new perspective. David was going through a lot in this psalm and waiting for the Lord to save him. But these three verses comes first. David saw the outcome before. He declared in faith that God had already brought him through his troubles before it actually happened in the physical. He had great faith and trusted that God would pull him through even though things were so terrible!

So, I'm striving to be like David and sing this psalm in my heart in a new way!

Just pictures...

2009-12-11T01:01:00.001-08:00

Caleb learning about his science project from his tutor.
Micaiah's 3rd birthday. He loved his new toys from his big brother.
Supporting Uncle Patrick rappelling from the Sheraton Hotel.
Uncle Patrick's two greatest fans.
Caleb helped me make his food for the day!!!

Trying to get Updated

2009-11-07T01:14:00.000-08:00

Posing by T-Rex...Caleb couldn't take his eyes off that big dino!
The huge T-Rex....the best one of all!
Look...the INCREDIBLES!
Batman and the little INCREDIBLE
...our Family...

Caleb will hopefully be starting school soon! I had an IEP meeting with the staff at Liholiho Elementary a couple weeks ago and everything is ALMOST all set for him to start. I also went to the school to talk to the class and introduce Caleb to them with pictures. Some of the first grade girls said "he's cute!" They were very curious to learn more about him and he is excited to make new friends. Patrick will be the one taking him to school and I will also go here and there. Our biggest fear of sending him to school is him getting sick a lot. And I just found out there was a kid in his class that was confirmed to have H1N1. But they were quick to let me know about it. I'd have to admit that I have a big fear whenever he seems to be getting sick now. But regardless, I know that him going to school will help him in many ways.

Caleb has been doing home schooling. He has a wonderful tutor that comes from his school everyday to work with him and trying to get him to where his classmates are at. He's great with Caleb...very encouraging and patient.

After Caleb's recent stay in the PICU, they increased one of his medicines, phenobarbital, which is a seizure med. I didn't really understand the point in doing that and tried to fight with the doctor on it but didn't win the battle. When we brought him home however, he was very groggy and sleeping a lot for a few days following. We took him back to the doctor and they lowered it again 25%. But still, he was at double the dose from prior hospitalization. So he took another blood test recently and they lowered his morning dose again. It seems that it made a huge difference since. And we will check again in another two weeks and I'm praying we can lower it again and again. (He doesn't have seizures) ...this last one was a febrile seizure. And that's not the same.

Caleb and I attended a speech therapy group at UH last Saturday. It was great! I really enjoyed it and think it will be good for him.

We had fun dressing up as a family. We were THE INCREDIBLES! Batman helped us out that evening as Caleb slept the entire night away while we were out! He started to go to bed even earlier again. Usually he is asleep by 7pm.

Brandon and I took the boys out to watch the fireworks tonight out on the beach and Caleb fell asleep when we were on our way and missed the show. But it was still nice to have him with us...poor guy had to sleep in his chair though. The last time we went down there as a family was before Caleb's accident. Micaiah was probably a month old or maybe a little more. We laughed as we talked about that night. At that time, we weren't sure where they set the fireworks off and Caleb and I were on the sand. When it started it startled us both. Caleb jumped into my arms and was frightened by the loud noises. He burried his face against me with his hands over his ears. It took some time before he actually watched it. At the time, we were worried about Micaiah. We knew he could hear but all we knew about his "condition" was that he could possibly have problems later on. So we were worried about him being around the loud fireworks and Brandon jumped back into the car with him where the sound was more muffled. Tonight was fun and we look forward to making that a weekly family event for us with dinner on the beach too! (weather pending)

I realize this post isn't very well written. It's late and I realized that I haven't posted for quite awhile. So just wanted to touch up on what's been going on lately! God Bless. And I'll prepare the next one a little better. :)

Home Sweet Hom

2009-10-17T03:48:00.000-07:00

Caleb was discharged from the hospital today. I was a little uneasy about taking him home just yet but at the same time very happy that he would be back home and our life could get back to "our normal."

Caleb did fine when we got home. He slept soon after we got him settled into his bed, on the trach collar, and a little bit of 02. Just before our nurse was getting ready to leave, he started to act all funky again. Of course, she knew all the many things to try to get his 02 steady and his heart rate more normal. I was terrified by it all. Our wonderful nurse Susan said she'd stay until he was okay. It took awhile...till about midnight. Patrick came in to relieve her. I did not feel comfortable at all so Patrick said he'd come and sleep at our house and take over...after working 12 hours today at the PICU. I'm comfortable now, as Patrick is in Caleb's room with him and Caleb is actually doing a lot better since Patrick walked in. I think he wanted a sleepover?

We are beyond blessed by our nurses...who are much more than that. Family is what they are...

The first few nights Caleb stayed in the hospital, his nurse Susan was working the night shifts so we were able to sleep at home during the night as she watched over to him. It was so nice to have her there with him! Patrick also called in and picked up a couple of shifts while Caleb was in the PICU.

So I'll continue more posts later as I'm going to get some sleep while Patrick is here for the night. But I just wanted to share that HE IS HOME! (and brag about Caleb's aunty and uncle) :)

In the PICU after a big Scare.

2009-10-14T15:02:00.000-07:00

I had started my new post almost two weeks ago. Loading pictures and writing about all these great things happening! Well, I never finished and posted it. But I'll continue that one later.

On Saturday morning Caleb came down with a fever. Micaiah had been sick the entire week before. I called their pediatrician and we had planned to take Caleb in on Sunday to be tested for flu. But on Sunday morning, Caleb's fever must have spiked. My mother in law stayed over the night before and was in Caleb's room. I was awoken frantically and when I ran into Caleb's room he was blue already. He had been on two to three liters of oxygen the day before. I grabbed the ambubag (once more), and started to do CPR. Caleb was seizing...his eyes were rolling, he was shaking, lips blue, and face pale. CPR wasn't helping enough while he was seizing. His O2 dropped down all the way to 21! As I continued to perform CPR I cursed Satan and called out to God. It seemed like he was seizing and blue forever but it was probably not that long. When he stopped his eyes slowly closed and his body became completely limp. My heart dropped. I thought we lost him. (Looking back now I realize that, that thought was silly. His monitor showed that he still had a heartrate and a little bit of 02.) But I wasn't obviously all there. After what felt like forever, he opened his eyes again and started breathing. I was still doing CPR at this point. His 02 went back up to the 90s with help and I quickly hooked him back up to the oxygen on 5 liters. Right after we got him stable the firefighters flew into his room frantic. They took over and we headed to Kapiolani in the ambulance.
They discovered that he had pneumonia after taking a chest xray. The flu test showed negative for influenza A and B. His white blood cell count was high. But all the other blood tests didnt show anything. I think he had walking pneumonia that week...we just didnt know because he seemed fine.
Today is day 4 that he is in the PICU. They put him on cpap and at first he fought it. So they just put him on trach collar with some oxygen. But later Sunday night he had to be put back on cpap. So they are now weaning him off of cpap and he does well when not on it. As I am typing this, Caleb is in the OR. His trach doctor wanted to do a bronchoscopy on him where they go down the trachea and into the lungs with a long camera. They will also dialate his trachea if need be in order to put a bigger trach in. Caleb's trach has never been there as a respiratory device but for controlling his secretions. It was a hard decision for us to make but we decided to go with it and felt comfortable with our decision as it will be better for him in the long run and possibly help him to get his trach out completely later.
He's such a strong boy! He wasn't scared when I told him what was going to happen today. I wish I had as much courage as him! He sees Jesus and angels all around him all the time...I know it!
He should be out of OR now so we are heading back! I will try to keep you updated as I can!

Sprinting...

2009-09-01T02:55:00.000-07:00

We had fun being silly taking pics of ourselves.
Our little celebration for daddy's bday!
Happy Birthday DADDY!

I love this picture! Caleb has a little smirk too. Maybe because of the frosting on his lips.

I'll post more pictures in a separate blog. It's going to take me too long to do it right now. Stay tuned! :)

There is much to be celebrated about here! Thank you for all your prayers...Caleb's nursing hours were decreased as we expected. We currently have 56 hours/week (which are never fully filled until now) and the insurance company decided to lower it down to 42 hours/week. Thank you, God! They had originally told us that we were going to have a 70% cut in nursing hours. But after a long reassessment by a second party, they came to this wonderful decision! They also decided that ALL of his therapies will remain the same. He will get PT and OT once a week and ST twice a week @ Kapiolani. What a blessing that is! So Patrick will remain stuck with us as well as a couple of our other wonderful nurses. It does change things slightly though. We will not have night nurses unless I choose to not have a daytime nurse and will never have hours for weekends unless we forfeit a weekday. But we are still beyond grateful that his nursing hours weren't drastically decreased.

When we had the meeting with managed care and the dr. that works for the company, they watched Caleb in therapy, spoke with all of his therapists, and I brought pictures of Caleb from when he was initially in the hospital and more recent ones. I also gave her a copy of the news story that was done shortly after Caleb came home. His hours change are in effect starting in October and his therapy will resume this wednesday. Thank you for your prayers. God knows what Caleb needs and what we need and he has provided for us all along.

Caleb got sick last week but bounced back after about 36 hours. He didn't need oxygen or anything... I've noticed that the past few times he has gotten sick it has only lasted a day and he's back and running again. It's amazing...and I am so grateful for that.

Caleb has also been having PT,OT, and ST @ our house too from the DOE. All of his therapists are great. He will also be getting a tutor to come into the home too which I am very excited about. Since we moved I had to register him at the school in our district. I visited the school and also met the special ed teacher. Everyone there seems really great and helpful. They ALL read this blog before I came to meet them so they could get to know Caleb and our family. (So sweet!) I really really like it there and am thinking about possibly looking into him being able to go there maybe once or twice a week...(with me there).

My little boy is growing too fast. He'll be 6 in three weeks! He just lost another tooth. I think that makes 4 missing teeth now. I told him he needs to smile so we can see all the pookas but he doesn't like it when I tease him like that.

It's been a little over a month since we've been out on our own. Brandon has been working a lot of overtime. Thank God for his job and all the work they've been getting! I've been exhausted waking up every night with Caleb but with Micaiah in school it makes it a lot easier since I can sleep during the day if I really need to. Most of the time I just shoot myself up with extra strong coffee to get me going throughout the day. That's probably not the greatest thing to do but it keeps me going...at least until it catches up to me and I crash for almost an entire day. I'm going to look into finding a natural sleep aid for Caleb, I know there has to be something completely natural out there and I'm determined to find it. He needs to sleep. Not for me, but for himself mostly.

Going to church has been difficult lately...spiritually and physically. This past week was an awesome message for us and later Brandon pointed out to me that it's harder when we go to church and that it is going to be like that. We fight before, we fight after until we realize what's happening. It's just what the enemy wants and we're giving it to him! But we realize that and for me, I think that's a huge thing. We so need to be there and I so want to be there! God has placed us in an awesome faith filled church. I know that the future holds more than we can imagine right now but we've got to keep running!

I've been reading this book called "Crazy Love." Here's something that I read from it last week that struck me and encouraged me: "...we are on a never-ending downward escalator. In order to grow, we have to turn around and sprint up the escalator, putting up with perturbed looks from everyone else who is gradually moving downward."

We're sprinting up that escalator again...I don't ever want to slow down. No more running or walking for me no matter how tired I am!

Our new home!

2009-07-24T03:08:00.000-07:00

I'm finally getting to blog for the first time from our new home. We've been living in our new place for 8 days now. It's coming along. I've been madly cleaning and getting things straighten out so I can relax. But it's never ending. I'm so exhausted. We are excited because this is our first time having our own place! It's harder in so many ways but I love it. The one thing I love the most is that Caleb and Micaiah are sharing a bedroom. (We've got a 2bdrm place) We decided to try and see how Micaiah would be sleeping in the same room as Caleb. Since Caleb often wakes up in the middle of the night we were a little concerned that his suction machine may wake up his little brother. But no it doesn't! They both love being in the room together! Micaiah doesn't give us any problems. When we tell him it's time to go to sleep he goes right to bed, doesn't complain, and goes right to sleep! I love that they can be together like that.

Micaiah has been saying he wants Caleb to talk to him. He says that a lot. When Caleb hears him say that he responds by making sounds. We'll tell him, see he's talking to you! What's he saying? And Micaiah says, "I don't know." Patrick tells him he needs to start learning to understand him. We try to interpret what Caleb is saying to Micaiah like, "Micaiah lets play" or "I love you." (Stuff like that) It's cute but it does make me sad sometimes. Micaiah is so sweet with Caleb though. He's always kissing him, rubbing his arm, climbing in bed with him,...doing what brothers do. (minus the fighting).

I took Caleb to his therapy session a couple weeks ago and was very excited to see the things he's doing in his speech therapy. He loves to play on the computer and does so well with it.

Caleb's nursing hours is still being reviewed so as of now, our hours have not been decreased. The quality insurance section is coming to our place next week thursday to do a re-assessment regarding his hours. Please pray for Caleb's nursing hours! Cutting them down a little bit wouldn't be that bad but to cut it down drastically would definitely change our lives completely.

We live really close to KCC now so I'm hoping that I can attend a night class in the fall and maybe a Saturday class too. I don't know how mother's of medically fragile children can work or go to school. It's so hard. But if we want to buy a house in the future and be able to have money to eat too then I'll need a job.

We are forever blessed by our families, especially our parents, who have helped us out so much in the past two years. Caleb, Micaiah, Brandon and I would not be where we are today if it weren't for all the love and support that every one has given us. Us moving to a place of our own makes a big difference for everyone and we are still so blessed to have our parents, families and friends so involved in helping us in whatever way they can and always lending a helping hand with Caleb and Micaiah.

I've had so many mountains in my life, especially within the last month or two. But God is so gracious. Just when I think I can't take it anymore and become so overwhelmed he reminds me of his love. We really do serve an awesome God who loves us endlessly!

"When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then You knew my path." Psam 142:3

Micaiah ISR

2009-07-03T14:19:00.000-07:00

Here is a video of Micaiah swimming. I took it a couple weeks ago. I mentioned in one of my blogs awhile back that he was doing the ISR swimming lessons. I also posted a link to the website on the side of this page.

I wrote about it in the blog titled "It is Well" on 10/12/08...you can go back to that post on the archives.

I don't like storms...

2009-07-01T15:44:00.000-07:00

Micaiah likes to lay down in Caleb's bed with him...
Micaiah naked in our lo'i...(his clothes were soaked so he took it off)
My surprise 25th birthday party! This is my best friend Kristi who planned it all for me! ...and then she lovingly shoved some cake on my face :)
Micaiah loves his big brother! (I love this picture)
The boys with Uncle Patrick...

It's been quite hectic since I last blogged. Many storms have come our way in the past month. But clinging to God and giving it all to him has paid off. We've gotten through much of those trials and some still "pending." But I know all of it will work out in whatever way God has planned for us if we keep trusting in him and leaning on him for strength.

We recently have had some new nurses...and great ones at that! So far for July, our nursing hours remains the same. I think Caleb's case is still being reviewed as far as his nursing hours is concerned. (Due to the recent furloughs here in Hawaii, medically fragile children and their families are going to be greatly affected...from what I've been told.) I got a call today from a company that is managing the switchover in medical. They were specifically asked to review Caleb's case and do a home visit and assessment in his care needs by the medicaid director and the evercare director (that's the new managed care). I'm looking forward to that and praying that it will result in a more positive assessment. They said that they have only been doing random assessments but was specifically asked to do one for Caleb. Thumbs up for that one! So please pray that they will not cut our nursing hours...or that it is not cut too drastically! Right now we are alloted 260 hours/month and they had said it was going to be cut down to 56 hours/month! That's 2 hours/day...but what nurse would want to do a 2 hour shift? so it's more like one and a half nursing days/ week! I'm not as concerned for us as I am about other families. There are many single parents who have medically fragile children who have to work and have no one else to help them care for their children! These furloughs are going to affect so many people. So please pray for our state and all those families out there.

Brandon and I are looking for a place to rent out. This is a huge step of faith for us financially, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Our lives will change a lot but at least we're not moving to another island or state. We'll still have lots of family and friends around. If the nursing hours are decreased it will affect us even more in our move but we are trusting that God will provide all the strength we need to make it through as he's done so in every situation. To be honest, I'm scared because we've never been on our own but I know that it will bring me closer to God (since this is only going to work because of Him) and will make us mature more and rely on one another more. Could you please also pray for our move? We are still looking for a place but have applied for a few already. It's hard to find a place without stairs and that is wheelchair accessible and has enough room for all of Caleb's equipment on our budget. But I know we'll find something...

Caleb's been doing great. He had a little cold a couple times in the last couple of weeks but he quickly bounced back. He was exposed to the swine flu but didn't catch it! Thank you God! I spent many nights praying over him in the past month and had some walks with Caleb in the neighborhood as we prayed together and talked together. He's been great through all of the "storms" that have been coming our way.

Brandon's 1st cousin, Ryan Egdamin, passed away on May 31st. Brandon and all of his family flew up to Seattle for his funeral shortly after. Please pray for his entire family and his friends that are dealing with this sudden loss. Please pray especially for his mom, dad, and brother. Thank you for praying through my long list of requests! God Bless...

Ryan Egdamin

2009-05-21T03:03:00.000-07:00

A precious gift...March 6, 2009

   Blessed Parents we are!
   Caleb and his best friend Uncle Patrick
   Apparently, Micaiah really likes his brother's food.
   Yeah that's kind of gross...but I guess it does taste good!

Jarrett, Patrick, and Brandon planting kalo

This is one of our two taro patches, after just planting

Micaiah likes to help pick luau for his brother...and himself.

Hiking up Makapu'u

I'm hoping that somewhere out there someone is still checking in on this blog. My computer totally crashed, I took it to Geek Squad and found out that it wasn't worth fixing. And I finally got a new computer! Yeah! The one I wanted too! :) So hopefully I will still get some readers here.

It's been almost 3 months, where do I begin? I don't have any bad news so that's great! Caleb's Re-Birthday was fun and we had many people come to celebrate his life with us. Brandon and I are very grateful for those who shared that day with us and for those who lifted Caleb and us up in prayer. Thank you very much!

Recently Caleb hurt his ankle which we discovered after he started to scream and cry when we would stand him up. He had an xray done which led his doctor to believe that he could possibly have a stress fracture but they couldn't tell for sure. So they scheduled a bone scan to be certain. (A full body bone scan.) In the mean time I was getting lectured about his diet and being told I needed to see a nutritionist because he probably wasn't getting everything he needed and therefore his bones would have density loss. There are so many reasons why he "should" have bone density loss. So I was feeling a little condemned and felt I needed to start studying on what to add to his diet. But when I totally dove into that huge task, God told me to stop and to focus back on him. So I did and it relieved all that pressure that was bogging my spirit down. I devoted all my spare time to reading the Bible, prayer, and worship. Two weeks ago Caleb had his bone scan done and the results showed that his bones are COMPLETELY NORMAL...Amen! Thank you Jesus!

I've also started a daily routine of reading to Caleb from the Bible...(mines, not the children's version). I pick a book in the Bible and we read a couple chapters a day. Sometimes if I don't get to it in the morning or later in the day I read to him while he sleeps. I absolutely love it. It's a peaceful time for us and it gets me to be more in the word, really understanding it (because I need to explain it to him after), and it's my time to spend with Caleb and God.

Adversity has been flying our way but I know God is above it all.

I constantly feel like I need to focus on his diet or get him to do more school work things which I do really need to do because it's important. But God has to come first. The spiritual things need to come first and then I can focus back on the other things which will then naturally fall into place.

There has been two times in the last couple months where there were those "scary moments" but through prayer God turned that all around. The first time it was early in the morning and Caleb sats were dropping quite quickly and his lips did turn a little blue. I had pulled everything out in preparation and called for some help. Brandon was still home and getting ready for work. He ran in and as I got oxygen hooked up to Caleb, Brandon laid his hands on Caleb to pray over him. Well after about five minutes of oxygen and after Brandon's prayer Caleb was fine. We thought he was getting sick but he didn't. He was fine.

A few days ago I awoke in the middle of the night to Caleb's pulse ox alarm. This was when he got sick and instantly got a fever. His heart rate was really high and he was pretty agitated. I climbed into his bed beside him and prayed with him. His heart rate dropped down to a more reasonable number and he calmed down. I did end up giving him some motrin a little later but after that one dose he didn't need it anymore. He is still sick but didn't need any oxygen this time and he's been sleeping pretty well considering that he normally doesn't when he is sick.

Caleb has been doing absolutely wonderful in speech therapy but there is a possible threat that insurance may deny him more visits. So he could use some prayer for that.

Well I can go on and on with this blog but I will end it here till next time..Enjoy the many pictures!

Looking Forward

2009-03-05T01:16:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Caleb's 2nd Re-Birthday Party and we will be celebrating his life at our house again. It will be a potluck celebration if you would like to come please do so anytime after 4pm. You can email me at prayforcaleb@yahoo.com if you need directions or anything else.
It's been 2 years and as I look back on the day we lost Caleb for 40minutes every single moment of that evening repeats in my head. I think I've passed the point of what if and have moved onto what IS...and more so of What is to COME. I'm beyond grateful that Caleb is here. I remember those last moments that I saw him before WE ALMOST lost him as he ran to kiss me goodbye and told me that he loved me before I left. But thankfully those weren't the last words, the last kisses, hugs, or special moments together.
On Monday I took Caleb to speech therapy and saw him working with the new communication device. It's a little handheld computer thats so neat. And he's so good at working it. With more practice he's gonna get better and better.
Caleb and I didn't get to go on our hike together because it's been rainy all week. But I had a wonderful moment with God when I went hiking by myself the other day. And now I know it's something I really needed. Especially at this time.
Patrick had Caleb laying on his stomach last week and had Caleb trying to roll over on his own. He was using all of his strength to push himself up and roll over which he did but in doing so he was making so much vocalization. Brandon was home and was so encouraged to hear Caleb's voice.
I also took Caleb to Shriners to get his back checked out by the doctor there. I spent quite some time praying over him and laying hands on him the night before and I know that's all that I need to continue doing. The doctor said that he is developing some scoliosis but that it wasn't bad. He said that we could have him fitted for a body brace that could be used when he is sitting but that there are no proven studies that it can help. But he said it wouldn't hurt to try. I've also been talking to our chiropractor about it too and he's given me a lot of understanding about it. So it seems it's not as bad as it was made out to be.
And as we continue to hold onto the promises from our Lord Jesus Christ, we thank you all for being our support, our prayer warriors, and encouraging force through this journey of our lives. Thank you and we look forward to all that this "March 6th" may bring and for the celebration with everyone that can make it!
We're looking forward...there's no turning back...! Rejoicing for EVERY SINGLE DAY...EVERY SINGLE MOMENT.

Hard times = A lift from GREAT people

2009-02-17T02:12:00.000-08:00

I think this has been the longest time that I haven't blogged. We were going through a rough time. But had great things along the way. I also have so many pictures to share but my computer isn't working...again. So I can't post it right now.

We planted our family's lo'i in Maunawili. The family gave us a couple of patches for us to plant and harvest for our family. We had a great time and it's growing well. We won't be able to harvest from it for a bit longer though.
Caleb is a little celebrity here in Hawai'i. The owner of Barefoot League invited Caleb and our family to their 1st Anniversary party the other weekend. They gave us some VIP passes and boy did we feel like VIP! Caleb got a lot of attention from all of the celebs there including UH players and pro football players, plus some other celebs and got a whole lot of autographs and pictures. We all had so much fun! We were so blessed by the owners of Barefoot League...they are wonderful people!

Caleb hasn't had much therapy due to the switchover in medical. But he will start soon. He's been doing good though and I started to do some "schoolwork" with him. I've had a lot of time with him since we have had less nursing during the day. I love spending so much time with him by myself but I don't like not having enough rest to stay sane. But I've been having fun taking him to the aquarium, hiking, and whale watching. I try to do things with him instead of just staying home and doing the usual stuff.

It seems Caleb's spine is starting to curve into an "S" shape and is causing his left ribs to flare out a bit. He's always tilting to the right too. So I'm going to have to look into possibly getting a brace for him to use during the day. I'm going to call to get an appointment at Shriners tomorrow.

It's been quite a rollercoaster this year but we are pulling through with the help from our gracious God and wonderful family and friends and new people that continue to bless us as the days go by.

In a couple weeks will be Caleb's 2nd Re-Birthday...(2 years since his accident). It doesn't seem like its been that long...It's been hard emotionally, physically, spiritually but it's been a blessing at the same time.

I promise I will update before that day comes. We are planning to throw him a party again like last year.

Till then...Please pray for Caleb and us as the time approaches. Thank you!

Thank You!

2009-01-05T03:06:00.000-08:00

Thank you to everyone who helped to decorate Caleb's tree and for visiting with him! It was so much fun not only for Caleb but for us as well! It was great to see people we haven't seen for awhile and for meeting a few new people too!

First I want to thank the greatest uncle in the world for my tree...Uncle Patrick!

And thank you Uncle Patrick and Aunty Lisa for coming up with the idea for decorating my tree!

Thank you to all of you who came to hang an ornament on MY tree...

Aunty Ashley Choo

Grandma and Grandpa Engle

Uncle Owen and Aunty Bunny

Grandma Great

Aunty Kristi Takimoto and Rylen

Aunty Snoop, Aidan, and Evan Cavaco

Grandma and Grandpa Egdamin

Aunty Rachel Wickes and Miss Gabriel

Aunty Phyllis and Dylan DeAngelo

Uncle Dustin Engle

cousin Taysia Gomes

Uncle Patrick Doyle

Aunty Laurie Kodani

Uncle Brian

Aunty Nat and Rachel Kubo

Daddy

Micaiah

The Okuda Ohana

The Yoshikawa Ohana

Uncle Ian Sanborn

Aunty Crystale, Kawai, and Callie

Aunty Ti, Uncle Daniel, and Paisley

Aunty Laurene, Moa, Hailey & Jonah Oda

And thank you to those who sent an ornament! That was so very thoughtful...I hope to see you soon!

Uncle Kevin and Braeden

Aunty Debbie Takimoto

cousins Mikayla and Seth Egdamin

Uncle Jason Takimoto and Aunty Christine

I LOVE YOU ALL!

Love, Caleb

Here's some great pictures of my very decorated tree!

It's all decked out!

From Our Family to Yours...

2009-01-03T15:46:00.000-08:00

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." John 3:16-17

Home for the NEW YEAR!

2009-01-01T20:25:00.000-08:00

Christmas Eve Party!

The four of us...

Mommy and Caleb

Mommy and Micaiah

Caleb, sick on Christmas morning...

Knocked out on New Year's Eve...but at least at home!

Daddy and Micaiah playing with sparklers!

Praise God! Caleb is home. He was discharged on New Years Eve and we were able to ring in the new year at home! Caleb is doing much much better now. Pretty much back to baseline. He was given some antibiotics and it's all good now!

God showed us once again that all things are possible through him! I really didn't think they would discharge him so early but he was doing good and off oxygen so they let us go home! One of our friend's sons from church was admitted Tuesday night because he had a full blown seizure. We didn't know each other was there until we were getting ready to be discharged. It was such a blessing. Of course not a good thing that both our boys were hospitalized but it was great to see them and to have encouraging words and powerful prayers! So our pastor came in too and prayed over us and Caleb. Nothing is coincidence...it's all a part of HIS plan. Please also pray for little Ezekiel and his parents and family. He's a mighty little miracle boy too. Ezekiel and Caleb will be preaching the word of God and touching many hearts together! (They already are...)

I have to admit that I was feeling a little angry and sad that Caleb had to be sick on Christmas and almost having to spend New Year's in the hospital. But God kind of knocked me in the head and I was reminded to be thankful for everything instead. There are so many people going through a much tougher time, children who are very ill...and I was becoming angry at God who sent his one and only son to us? How sad of me? I quickly caught myself and changed my bad attitude.

The week before Caleb got sick I was alone with him and we were talking and doing some stretches. I was doing some hip movements with him which made him look like he was dancing and he smiled at me! He thought it was funny and of course it made me very happy. Then when I was exercising his legs I told him he's going to run and made his legs in a running motion and then told him to run faster and faster and made his legs go faster and faster and he smiled again at me! It was a great day...Those smiles are priceless!

It's hard to find positive things about Caleb being in the hospital but I think I've found a couple...It was great to see nurses that took care of Caleb after his accident. The best thing about seeing them was that when they came in his room they were saying he looks great and that he got so big and telling us we were doing a good job taking care of him. Wow...he looks great and he's sick! That reminded me of where Caleb was almost two years ago and how far he's come. Not only for Caleb but for Brandon and I, our family, and our walk. For some reason it is an uplifting experience even when it's not such a happy event. God is good in reminding us of all the blessings through every circumstance.

In the hospital with Pneumonia.

2008-12-30T19:26:00.000-08:00

I was hoping for a better post than this one but it's been a rough week...

Caleb caught a cold last week Saturday but wasn't too bad. He was doing a lot better by Tuesday and was well enough for me to take him to his day of therapy on Wednesday. But on Christmas day his cold kicked back in and got worse. He had a fever that eventually became quite high. We had to stay home on Christmas day instead of spending it with family and Caleb was too ill to open his presents. Later on that night I had to put him on oxygen and we were giving him both tylenol and motrin to keep his fever down and had towels all over him. On Friday, (if things weren't bad enough), the electricity went out...on the entire island! It wouldn't have been a bad thing if Caleb wasn't sick and needing oxygen. But we do have a generator that we keep right outside his room in the patio. Brandon and his dad were scrambling for some extra gas since we didn't know what time we would have electricity again.
Well all was okay and we made it through the night. We took him back into see the doc on Saturday morn and he was actually doing a bit better and wasn't needing any oxygen. On Sunday he was still running a fever but looked a lot better than he had the previous days. But yesterday morning his fever spiked again and he needed to be on oxygen once more. I knew it had to be more than just a cold that would run its course since he was on the fifth day of having a high fever. And this time it was just not breaking. While the nurse we had that day was talking to his pediatrician, I told her lets just take him into the ER right now. I didn't want to wait till he got worse or till it got later in the day so she got him in the car and off we went to the ER.
Well, they did a chest xray and discovered he had PNEUMONIA. So of course they admitted him and now we are back at lovely Kapiolani! I was up all night suctioning him and am now running on a large coffee with an extra shot of espresso. Not healthy...but it keeps me functioning. We are praying that they will discharge him tomorrow so that we can all be home for the New Year but I don't think that will happen. We are praying for that though! I wanted to post a lot more great news along with some pictures from Christmas but I'm at the hospital right now and I don't have my computer. We should be going back home tonight for a bit so I we can shower at home, spend some time with Micaiah, and then I can grab my computer.
Micaiah came to visit this morning. He's so cute telling us all that he missed us. Caleb's got an IV in his hand too and they wrapped it with a diaper. Micaiah was curious about everything in there and asked, "Why Kamakana's hand in diaper?" It was funny. Guess he thinks that's pretty nasty to have a hand in a diaper. Normally I guess that would be.
Anyways I gotta get back in Caleb's room but I will update later tonight with good news and great pictures!
He's doing a lot better now and is on antibiotics. He's needing suctioning every two seconds but he is on a mist collar to keep his lungs moist and hasn't had any robinul (his med to keep his secretions less). Please pray that his pneumonia will be gone now and that we can all be home for the new year! Thank you!

Christmas is here!

2008-12-10T00:23:00.000-08:00

Patrick took Caleb to buy a Christmas tree last week Wednesday after his therapy session and this is the cute little one he chose.

I think it involved some bribery at therapy which apparently worked as usual and Patrick ended up spending some money on Caleb...as usual.

Caleb loves his Christmas tree which sits on a table beside his bed.
Patrick and Caleb's speech therapist, Lisa, came up with an idea to decorate his tree which we started on Friday.

Everyone who wants to participate in helping Caleb decorate his tree is welcome to but must follow the "rules." The idea is to get people to visit Caleb, talk to him, and see how he's doing! Everyone who wants to can let me know what day they want to come and visit him and bring an ornament to put on his tree! It can be handmade, an ornament you already have, or whatever you want! But you must bring your ornament yourself and put it on his tree! Caleb loves the company and would love to see faces he hasn't seen in awhile! We love the company too :) !

Okay, I guess I should make an exception for those who don't live on Oahu. If you want to help Caleb decorate his tree and don't live in Hawai'i then you obviously don't have to come and put it on yourself. But a picture of yourself with your ornament would be good so I can put it in his album of his tree decorating experience.

"Until you realize that what's around you doesn't control you anymore, you will not be free." That's something that many people have heard before and for me it is something that's been replayed for the past few Sunday's at church. But it finally clicked on a light for me and I journaled on it. My circumstances do not control me...I choose the way I am going to react to whatever situation so if I'm going to be upset or sad or whatever because of my circumstances it's all up to me! But then I'm letting things control me. So I've been working on not letting what's around me control me because I want to be free from it!

It's been hard though especially in this world we live in and the THINGS I have to deal with everyday. I have to make choices constantly on how I am going to react, feel, etc...because whatever I choose will affect many people and things to follow.

So here's my current issues:

1. It's been 1 1/2 years...no bath chair, no stander

But God is good! We got a loaner bath chair and a loaner stander (which he's pretty much outgrown) Still, I am thankful.

2. We purchased Caleb his own pulse oximeter machine a year ago after going through so many unnecessary events and conversations about getting one that actually works from the supply company and insurance. Problem is it's been giving us problems for quite some time. I called the company, they sent us a loaner, I sent our unit back, they sent our unit back after attempting to fix the problem. And it's not fixed. And the loaner is defective. Called again. They said they would send a loaner that works. Didn't receive it. Called again. "Hmm, it looks like it wasn't shipped out." :) "I know sir, that's what I said." They said they would call me in the morning. I hope they remember that I'm in Hawaii and don't call me at 4 or 5 am.

But God is good! Even though his machine isn't working how it's supposed to at least we were able to purchase one. It would have been much more of a headache going back and forth through insurance and the supply company. We are still fortunate.

3. Our nursing hours are not being covered. We had 40 hours left over last month. This month we have about 62 hours left over so far. Frustrating? VERY.

But God is good! We have such great nurses that we all love and are thankful to have loving hearts watch our little boy. We are thankful to have supporting parents to help us care for Caleb too! We are blessed beyond!

Yes, I am frustrated about these things. I don't want to be a pushover because I know that we should have all those things...that Caleb should have them. But I don't want to stress over all these things anymore. It tires me out. First I need to pray about them and then approach whoever I need to in those situations. I don't have that all down but I'm working on it. The biggest thing is to know that no matter what...it doesn't control me. And God still provides us with whatever we may need!

On the greener side, Caleb continues to grow in many ways! He's getting so big now, I can't carry him like I used to! He's definitely has to start walking! He continues to excel in therapy and from what I hear from Patrick, his speech therapist has been harder on him and sets strick boundaries and rules for him. It may sound sad but I think it's good for him. It pushes him to do things that he can do or already has done before and to do new things too. It seems to work and I'm glad she encourages him that way rather than giving in to him. She works so well with him...she's really got a gift for that! (Another thing I am so very thankful for!)

Micaiah is learning lots of good things in school but still has a hard time when I drop him off. (And I must admit I do too.) He really doesn't want to go to school when Patrick is over because he just wants to hang out with Caleb and Patrick and so I let him hangout with them in the morning for a bit and take him in later. Actually, Micaiah knows when Patrick's over and will call Patrick to take him out of the room when he wakes up and will hang out with them while I get a little more sleep. Isn't that nice? (Another thing I'm so thankful for)

Our house is decked out with Christmas lights which Caleb and Micaiah love. It's nice to just sit out in the front yard and look at the lights and relax.

"I'm so special. I've got my very own tree! THANK YOU UNCLE PATRICK!"

"I think I need more lights!"

"Uncle Patrick, does this side look okay?"

Christmas is coming soon and Caleb's all ready. He's looking forward to seeing family and friends and being surrounded with more and more love!

Thank you for supporting us throughout this year with countless prayers and for standing in faith with us everyday. We love you all.

The forgotten post

2008-11-24T00:43:00.000-08:00

So I wrote this post on November 17th but didn't submit it to be posted. You can tell I wasn't quite finished because I end it a little weird. I figured I'd still post it and just write another one since I put in the effort for this one! :) Sorry.

These are pictures from Caleb's 5th Birthday party...back in september.

An exhausting day at the beach for Micaiah!

Our Big Boy

What's up?

Today we celebrated Micaiah's second birthday with our family. It was so crowded at chuck e cheese but micaiah, caleb, and their cousins had lots of fun. Micaiah got one of those blow up bouncers so we set it up in the front of our house and the kids were jumping in it when we got home. Patrick put Caleb in with them and it looked like he was laughing! He had a smile on his face...the biggest one I have seen for myself so far! Praise God! I think I got a pretty good picture. (will post when I get it from Patrick's camera).

Micaiah likes school but is still adjusting and likes going to sunday school at our church now. We always have Caleb with us in church with the rest of the congregation where he can worship too, be prayed over, and listen to God's word being preached.

We've decided to send Micaiah to school full time. It will be easier for him to adjust, especially since he will only be there for five weeks before they break for the holidays. He seems to be adjusting fine. It's me that's having a hard time. He's such a rascal but I do miss him. I will have more time to run errands, get things in order, and focus on starting Caleb on a homeschooling program though.

I recently bought a notebook for Caleb's nurses and caregivers to write down things that Caleb accomplishes everyday, big or small. I want to keep document all that he does and the reactions it creates. So I will also start to post sometimes what is written.

Last weekend we took Caleb swimming. I didn't have any swim diapers so I took him in with just his shorts on but I told him to pee before he went in and told him not to pee in the pool. We swam for a good amount of time and then he started to vocalize a lot so I asked him if anything was wrong and then I remembered what I had told him and said, "oh, do you have to use the bathroom?" So I took him into the bathtub and right when I put him down he peed!

I'm really hoping to get a Mac Computer for Christmas so I can make some videos for you all to see the things Caleb does at therapy...and at home too. :) But I'll probably just keep dreaming about that one. :(

Brandon and I went to see "Fireproof" last night and I would highly recommend everyone who is married to see it or check out the website at http://www.fireproofmymarriage.com/ I think it's a good thing to watch even if your marriage is going good because at one point or another, everyone goes through fire!

WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE

2008-11-10T02:22:00.000-08:00

SUPER CALEB!!! (We decked out Caleb's wheelchair with lightsticks to make his "light mobile" it was so cool. You can't really tell in the picture because you can't get the whole glowing effect. But he had the coolest costume ever!)

Super Caleb in his Light Mobile...and the fierce but cute little shark!

Playing the Wii at Pac Med. He's concentrating to get the win!

Micaiah loves to hang out with Caleb and Uncle Patrick. He drives them crazy. But deep down, they both love it!

Caleb in the walkable at PT

He loves me. I love him more. Jesus loves him most.

Hanging out with mommy results in doing some yoga exercises!

He likes yoga more than his expressions say.

Callie and Caleb...she's so cute with him and he loves her!

(Callie is Caleb's first cousin.)

We went to the bishop museum today to see the shark exhibit. They were all holding hands. Micaiah wanted to hold his hand all the way. It was so cute I had to make them take a picture.

We've been having lots of fun! Today we took the boys to the bishop museum to see the shark exhibit and there was an event going on so they had entertainment, inflatables, and a train ride too! Caleb loved the bumpy train ride! We went to chuck e cheese a couple of weeks ago too and Caleb rode rides and played racing games. We also took Caleb to Maunawili which seems like that was a long time ago. But it was good for him to go back there and meet the family that lives there. They were happy that we brought him along.

Caleb has continued to do amazing in his speech therapy sessions and I am so proud of him! He also had his EEG finally but I haven't heard any results yet. Honestly, I don't really care and don't really want to hear it. I know that he is okay...there is no doubt about that! I don't mean to sound like I'm rejecting the fact that he had the test done and all but I'm focusing on what I've been learning in church and through my devotions and time with God. I don't want to focus on "the way Caleb is" or "what the doctors may say," I'm focusing on the fact that HE IS NORMAL AND HEALED IN JESUS NAME. I'm still preparing my heart and constantly praying that over him. God's been asking me to just worship him in those late night hours when Caleb wakes up and everything else is still and quiet. I just worship him...sing praises to him and pray those words over Caleb continuosly until one of us falls back asleep.

Brandon and I got to go surfing together the other weekend and had lots of fun! I haven't been surfing for a long time and it was so nice to get back in the water. I also had a lot of time to spend with God out in the water and it was so nice and refreshing. That's how I feel about going to Maunawili and getting into the taro patch or into the stream. I love it! It's a stress reliever for me.
Micaiah will be 2 years old in one week and will start school then. (part time) We've decided to send him to school during the days that Caleb has appointments so that he doesn't have to always be tagging along to therapy sessions at the hospital. I know he will have a much better time at school and it will be better for him I believe. I'm going to miss him on those days but it will give me more time to focus just on Caleb and to also run errands more quickly than usual.

I've also been thinking about getting Caleb into some kind of school program and after talking it over with Brandon and praying about it too, we've decided that I should check out homeschool programs. So I will be looking into that. Keiki O Ka Aina is a wonderful program but this year at the site we attend the other kids are younger (like Micaiah's age) so it's not as interactive for Caleb. I don't want to go with the D.O.E. for many reasons and I thought about getting a tutor but it would be too expensive so we decided that I would just do it...or at least start him off and maybe Patrick could take over on the days he is with Caleb. So I will most likely not be going to school next semester or maybe I will at least take one course. I know going to school will pay off in the end but I never want to compromise my role as being the mother that I have to be for a future of "success" or what the world views as success. It may take me longer this way but Caleb needs school. I really wish there was a private school that we could send him to that he would be integrated into a "regular class." He can be in a "regualar class" because he is NORMAL.
Caleb has also been smiling more. Patrick said he gave him a big smile (both sides) on Wed morning and one of Caleb's other nurses, Sandra, said he smiled at her again too. Sandra is such a great nurse and is so great with Caleb...and Micaiah. She'll be moving to Cali at the end of the month and we are all very sad. We are so blessed to have the best nurses ever to watch over Caleb!

God can do the "impossible!" Man says there are things that are impossible such as Caleb being healed. But we know that WITH GOD...ALL things are POSSIBLE! We've been learning so much and I know God placed us in the church we are at for a reason. There is another couple that goes to our church and their son was born with some "abnormalities." Our pastor always says that there is a reason why God brought both our boys together. I had a chance to talk with his mother and oh my goodness....it was so nice to share our beliefs together and everything else. I am so encouraged by her strength and perseverance. I've never met anyone born with a child with "abnormalities" that believes the same thing we do. I know we will become great friends and be a strength and support for one another as we pray for one another and our boys and believe and stand on God's word together. We love our new church family and are blessed by God's word every week.

We miss our New Hope family too and are so blessed to have them continually support us in prayer! We were able to attend a concert at New Hope last weekend and saw part of our New Hope ohana. Brandon and I still attend some New Hope ministries and our bible study group are all members of New Hope so I guess we are technically still a part of New Hope.

I've been seeing many more blessings as we've been following things that God has been telling us to do. God doesn't always tell us to do things that we want to do. Often times it may be uncomfortable and we don't want to do it but when we step out in faith is when God can work and we can see the plans that he has for us.
Verses I've been meditating on...

Jesus says in Mark 10:27 "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all thisgs are possible with God."

and in Mark 11:22-26 Jesus says, "Have faith in God. I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore, I tell you whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that YOU HAVE RECIEVED it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Fater in heaven may forgive you your sins."

Those words are so powerful to me... and I've been meditating on it so that it will sink deep in my heart and so that I can digest every part of it. I pray that these verses may help you in whatever may be going on in your life too!

I hope you enjoy the pictures. Some of them are a bit old and maybe I even posted some before but enjoy anyways! :)

It Is Well!

2008-10-12T23:48:00.000-07:00

"It is well!" That's our new phrase that we're sticking to! It's a story that's been re-played in my mind after I heard it in church and really grasped it last week, and then heard it again today. (2 Kings 4:8-37)
In this story, a Shunamite's son dies and she goes to see Elisha, a man of God. When Elisha asks her if all is well, she says "it is well." She believed it was well...that her son was well before he was even restored to life. Her son was dead and she didn't focus on the circumstances but knew God's power and didn't worry. She said "it is well" when in other people's eyes it would seem otherwise. So It is well...it will always be well!
Praise Reports: Caleb did really amazing at speech therapy last week thursday. He played a new game and had a board that had different squares on it. I think it was like a touch screen computer thing. He had to touch the different boxes on the screen with his pointer finger in order to tell his therapist what he wanted. Patrick said he blew them away with all that he did. He touched each box to tell them what he wanted to do. I think it was, "I want to play with a ball."
So this past tuesday Caleb's speech therapist arranged a time for Caleb to go down to PacMed (company that supplies special needs things). They have a gaming area that they set up with a big screen tvs and a nintendo Wii. Brandon was off that day so he went with Caleb and Patrick. I was on my way to school and decided I couldn't miss that. So I skipped school to go and meet them there. After hearing all that he's been doing in speech therapy, I just had to go. I'm so bummed that I have been missing out on all these amazing things he's doing. (That's so bad of me, I know...I scolded myself already :) )But we all had a blast. Caleb was challenging us with a mario kart game where he has a wheel that he has to turn to drive. They adjusted it for him so that he could do it by himself and he was turning that wheel and was so excited. His eyes were fixed on that tv screen the entire time. He beat me once after he got the hang of it. Of course, I am very horrible when it comes to those kinds of things...but he was proud he beat me. So he will probably be going back there often now to play games. I got to talk with his speech therapist who was telling me about his previous session in which she was totally amazed. It was great to hear it all from her and she was so excited to see him controlling the game on his own. Everyone there is so nice and helpful too...we are bound to go back weekly. We just have to fit it in Caleb's busy schedule somehow.
Micaiah finished his swimming lessons this past week and he can now swim and float on his back all on his own. It is so amazing to watch. I will post a video of him later. I put a link to the swimming lessons on the right side of the blog. Check it out and spread the word. This is the best swimming lessons I have ever heard of, seen, or known...
However, I must note that as we have put Micaiah through these swimming lessons, one might think that if Caleb had known how to do this then he would not be where he is at today. First of all, that is not a fact. It is possible but I believe it is highly unlikely. There are still many other circumstances in which a drowning could occur even if one does know how to swim. God's plans are bigger than we can imagine and he has a huge plan for Caleb and our family. Maybe it's hard to grasp this concept but Caleb is well, he is healed in Jesus' name...it is our responsibility to realize that and understand it fully and bring ourselves to a higher understanding in our faith. We are learning how to have a deeper relationship with Christ everyday.
Maybe I should also note that after reading the handbook from his lessons I've learned that there are so many ways a child could drown even if you take all precautions. You could have a fence but a toddler could easily find a way to climb over it. I'm sure every circumstance you can think of, it has happened. I do believe that lives can be saved through these swimming lessons though. But in our "case" after a year and a half since Caleb's accident, I've come to learn so much more than what our circumstances are.
And today I can say with all my heart that IT IS WELL!

A 911 Call and a Touch from JESUS

2008-09-30T23:56:00.000-07:00

This morning was quite eventful for all of us. At 2am I awoke to Caleb's alarm going off. When I went into his room my mom was already in there with him. I noticed his heart rate was very high and he was really hot. His oxygen levels started to decrease and went down to the lower 80s so I started to deep suction him but nothing was coming out. I quickly ran into our bedroom to wake up Brandon and asked him if he could come pray over Caleb as I gathered his oxygen tank and started to hook everything up. His oxygen levels hit 40 and then the high 30s and his lips turned blue. I had everything ready just then to hook him up to some oxygen and was calling 911 at the same time by that point. When he was on oxygen he was better...but still not doing so well. Brandon continued to pray over him while all this was going on and a second before the paramedics came into our house, Caleb coughed and a bunch of mucus came out and continued to come out thereafter...and we were praising the Lord! I guess he had some mucus stuck way down that I couldn't even get with the deep suction catheter. But right after he did that, his 02 went back to the 90s and his heart rate settled a little bit. Caleb also started to shake a bit but it didn't look like any seizure activity...it looked like he was shaking because he had the chills from his fever and from the look of his skin I would say he did have the chills. They took him into the ambulance and Brandon rode with him down to the ER continuing to talk to him and pray over him. (he even got to ride in the back with him) Apparently, I think the firefighters and paramedics know us by now.
In the ER he was fine but when they took his temperature (rectal) it was 103.8. I don't know why but everytime he gets a fever it just comes at once and it rises quickly. He was completely fine on Monday all day and in the evening too. They put an IV in and did a bunch of bloodwork which all came back fine...did a chest xray and that was fine too. After being poked around, Caleb was pretty tired so he just rested. The ER doctor said she felt fine to discharge him as long as we were okay with that. (which of course we were) So after getting some 24hour antibiotic through his IV we waited for a bit till his fever started coming down and headed for home. We were all very tired, including Patrick who came down to the ER when I called him to let him know what was going on. He stayed with us till 2pm. Caleb slept from 9am till 1pm and so did we. He hasn't had a fever since 8am and is back to his normal self...almost. His heart rate is normal when he is awake but is higher than usual when he's asleep. He had an afternoon of movies in mommy and daddy's bed and we were blessed by new things he started to do when he woke up. He started to smile...a half smile but you can definitely tell he's trying to give a smile. He looks at us in the eyes when we ask him to smile and he just goes for it. He's gotta be doing better for smiles! So our not so good morning turned out to be a great day after all.
His doctor decided to put him on some antibiotics to be safe. I think they found some bacteria growing in the culture they took but I guess it takes 24 hours to see what it is. I have no idea...he's fine, he's home...that's all that matters to me!
We were very blessed today and put to practice the things we have been learning about our faith. God was there as always and he answered as he always does. It may be a sleepless night for me tonight but I'm just thankful that we get to be home and that Caleb gets to sleep in his own bed gazing at his LED stars shining on the ceiling amongst the planets hanging down and remember who created it all (the real thing of course).
God healed Caleb almost instantly today...or in a very short time. I'm amazed at how well Caleb looks now from where he was this morning and all we can do is praise God! Please continue to pray that Caleb will be healed completely and be made whole and normal in Jesus' name!
You and your prayers is what keeps us afloat! Blessings...

A new 5 year old

2008-09-24T01:28:00.000-07:00

BROTHER HUGS!!!
CALEB LOVED THOSE FISH TANKS!
US @ the MAUI OCEAN CENTER

Many things have happened since I last posted and have been hectic...but good. I started Caleb on a new diet. I'm still giving him raw milk and all the stuff I put inside his milk is still the same but I am now giving him poi, luau, carrots, squash, breadfruit, and popolo berries. All of this came about after our camping weekend in Maunawili. Our friends there have many taro patches, breadfruit trees, and popolo berries growing like crazy! So I started to go up into the valley once a week with Micaiah to help them with whatever they need help with and to gather food for Caleb and our family. The other weekend I learned how to milk their cow! They also give us a little bit of milk once a week. It seems that Caleb is doing better on his new diet and his bowel movements are definitely regular and not so stinky. :) (don't tell him I shared that) Their family has been a huge blessing to us and I am learning so much every week. I plan to start growing some wheat grass so that I can juice that at home too and make some rejuvelac which I have been reading about. It was created by Ann Wigmore and it is supposed to aid in digestion.

Caleb's EEG was cancelled once again. This time he was fine but when we took him to his pediatrician to get a sedation clearance before his EEG, his doctor didn't clear him. He said he had a cold since he had secretions coming from his nose. Both I and Caleb's nurse told the doctor that he always does and that he wasn't sick...his secretions weren't colored too...they were clear! But he insisted so he was not able to get his EEG done. I'm so sick of this already. He doesn't even need it...but it was rescheduled for next month anyway. Caleb's doctor was really impressed when he saw Caleb. He never sees him...not even when he is sick (we have another doctor that does house visits) so he was blown away at his progress. But of course gave me a little grief about his diet. How strange...he's making progress but what I feed him is no good? Is that possible?

We recently started attending a new church. It's been awhile now since we felt that it was time to move on but for the past month or so God has been really placing this one church on my heart and I strongly felt that God really wanted us to get moving. Brandon and I talked about it continually but didn't budge. As time continued, this feeling became stronger everyday to the point where I said we had to at least try it and then if that's where God wants us to be then he would confirm it to the both of us....so we went...and God confirmed. Our new church is called New Life Bible Church and it is very small...maybe about 20-25 people total. The church has no elevator and three flights of stairs which means we have to carry Caleb up to the church...and sometimes his chair too. But if this is where God wants us to be then we will do what we have to do to get there. It reminded me of the story of the men who made a whole in the roof to lower their friend in front of Jesus amongst a crowd so that he could heal him. Because of their faith, Jesus healed him. Every week the Lord speaks to us and this church has unbelieveable faith! (that's an oxymoron) We are so excited to see what God has in store for Caleb and us as we learn more about where our faith needs to be and act upon what we learn. The sad thing is that we miss seeing everyone at New Hope...the loving and gracious greeters and ushers, the pastors, and our friends. It's what was holding us back from moving somewhere else but this is a new season for us and God is showing us specific things that he wants from us. But to all the New Hope readers...we love you and will come back to visit sometime!

Caleb turned 5 years old on Saturday! We had a party for him at the beach again with family and close friends. Caleb stayed in the ocean for a very long time and enjoyed being around his cousins and friends. He got lots of new clothes..just what I wanted! (He needed new clothes because he's grown so much.) We got him a fish tank and put it right next to his bed so he can watch them when he wakes up early in the morning and at night just before he goes to bed. Brandon also went and bought him a steering wheel to go with his cars game so that Caleb can use that to play video games with him. He's growing up so quickly...and improves day by day. He's a brand new 5 year old who won't stop at anything...this is going to be a year of miracles...you will see.

Caleb's been doing so well in all of his therapy sessions. He recently blew away his speech therapist as he was playing a new computer game with the joystick. And last week Patrick had Caleb playing with his magnet puzzle in his stander. He told Caleb to get the turtle and Caleb moved his arm over and connected the piece with his magnet stick but as he pulled it up it disconnected. So Patrick told him to go and get it once again and he got it, pulled it up and pulled it off to the side. Then Patrick told him to bring it over and place it in his hand and then he could come out of his stander (he's famous for bribes...but it always works) So Caleb did what he told him to do. When I heard this...I almost cried. He's so amazing, isn't he!?!

The boys started going back to Keiki o Ka Aina again and I sure do miss going with them. School is going good but finding time to study has been a challenge and staying up through class is another. But some things that I learn are actually beneficial and my semester project will revolve around Caleb which will be great for me. Of course, in science classes however, it is sometimes hard to read and go with what science tells you when your beliefs don't agree. But I will survive.

I hope you enjoy the few pictures I posted from our Maui trip. I'm going to make a slide show of more pictures when I get the chance and will also post some pictures from Caleb's birthday at a later time. Thank you for blessing our family with your continued prayers!

Another bug.

2008-08-18T23:32:00.000-07:00

There's a bug going around in our household! Caleb and I caught a cold...we had to take him in to the ER on Friday because he had a fever that was just not breaking and lots of secretions. They did blood work, tested his secretions, put an IV in, gave him some fluids and antibiotics. He did have a bacterial infection so they gave us antibiotics to put him on. They wanted to admit him and keep him overnight...mainly to keep an eye on him probably because of the last time he was admitted. But we convinced them that we would take good care of him at home and that he would be much better in his own room. The ER doctor was totally fine with letting us take him home but it was Caleb's pediatrician that needed some convincing. Well, we were discharged from the ER and Caleb has been getting better at home. He no longer has fever but is still on 1/2 liter of oxygen. He never needs to be on oxygen. Even when he gets sick, if anything he is only on it for a day. The reason why we had to put him on oxygen was because his heart rate was high and we are slowly weaning him down. I'm praying that by tomorrow he will be completely off...and quite hopeful that it will happen.
I've been sick too which has been a real drag since it prevented me from taking care of Caleb. But we have wonderful parents who have been helping us out this whole weekend so I could rest! I had myself checked out at the ER while we were there too. The nurse asked for my symptoms...I told her, and then she asked if I had fever also. I said, "no" and then she took my temperature and I did. I sure didn't feel like I did though. She kind of laughed at me.
I'm feeling much better now...not completely 100% but good enough. My cold started on Tuesday and was bad by Thursday. My head felt like it was going to explode!...and what perfect timing! My final for summer school was that day and I still needed to do much studying! Well, that didn't go so well...and my grade sure proved that. I was pretty depressed but I think it will be okay.
I got a wonderful surprise on Thursday when I came home from my depressing day! Caleb was "walking" around the house in his walker. (That sure put a smile on my face and totally flipped my day around) Patrick had him out in the living room in his walker and was helping him move his legs in a walking motion to move all around. That was different. I can't wait till the day I see him doing that all on his own in that walker...and then on his own without the walker! He was quite happy to surprise me and proud of himself. He wanted to do it again for Brandon when he came home from work...so he did.
Caleb has also been doing very well with his vital stim therapy. He was HEARD swallowing by Patrick, the vital stim therapist, and his speech therapist. His vital stim therapist says he's making a lot of progress quickly and was pleased with his last visit...he swallowed 3 times! Thank you all for your prayers...please continue to pray for him on that.
Caleb's EEG is scheduled for this Thursday at 10am. Please pray that he will be 100% well by then and that his EEG will show that he is not having any seizure activity! If we have to reschedule this again we probably won't be able to get an appointment till next month and it's been so long already!
We have plans to go camping this weekend too. We aren't taking Caleb because there is no electricity and we'd have to bring a generator and run it through the night...causing no one else to get rest. But we are planning to have him brought down to where we will be for the day on Saturday. He needs to be 100% for us to leave him though. So please pray that the Lord will heal him...NOW.
I've been having some difficulty lately with the way I have been feeling (emotionally). I can't explain how I feel but I know why I am feeling this way...I haven't been going to all of his therapy sessions because I don't want Micaiah to have to be at Caleb's appointments all day every day and have been doing more things with just Micaiah while the nurse is here during the day. I've always felt so bad doing things with Micaiah and leaving Caleb behind but I can't let Micaiah suffer either. A friend had told me that if Caleb's accident hadn't occurred he would be in school...so it would be the same thing! (Which I hadn't realized.) Plus Caleb gets to have fun with Patrick all the time...going swimming and doing all kinds of stuff. It's not like he's in bed...and we take him on fun events too. I don't know...I'm trying to get over these feelings and have been praying about it. I know God knows that I love and appreciate both of my boys and want to do whats best for the both of them but I just feel torn.
We just started Micaiah in swimming lessons today. He loves the water and loves to go surfing already. Brandon just took him surfing again this past Friday morning and Micaiah had so much fun! Everytime we drive by the ocean he always says he wants to go surfing and always says he wants to go to the beach. So, it's time he learns how to swim. The instructor comes to our house which makes life a lot easier! It's called ISR swim school and is quite popular now. After seeing how this works for Micaiah, I will probably put a link up for it.
Now my mom is feeling sick and Brandon called me from work today saying he felt like he was coming down with the bug too. Brandon's mom also felt a little ill. Please pray for us all that we will all be better! Micaiah hasn't caught it and I'm praying that he won't in the days to come either!
Please pray for us all...especially Caleb! Poor little guy. I always feel so bad for him when he's sick. He's already going through so much and is such a trooper about it all...and yet he has to endure this too! What a soldier! I want to have a heart like his when I grow up :)

P.S. I still don't have the pictures from Maui yet but promise to post some as soon as I get them!

Pictures as Promised

2008-08-06T20:51:00.001-07:00

chillin' at the beach house...........
ZOO time!
Oh no! Here comes TROUBLE!

Cuising at Keiki O Ka Aina...
Our hike up Makapu'u... July 4th fun.......
"Carry me big brother!"
"Yeah, I know...my button is cool...!"

More pictures from our Maui Trip coming up soon!....stay tuned.... :)

2008-08-06T02:20:00.000-07:00

I apologize for not updating in so long as I hadn't even realized that it's been a month. We just returned from Maui on Monday afternoon. We loved traveling on the Superferry! It was so much easier. The only downfall was that Brandon and I got sick on our ride to Maui but thank God we had Patrick with us and he wasn't sick at all. So he watched the two boys while we were in misery. It was rocky and we hadn't slept much the night before. But our time in Maui was great! We went to the Aquarium as soon as we arrived and again on Sunday. Caleb absolutely loved it! He could easily see everything and he was so excited. Friday we spent the day just cruising in Lahaina and took the boys on the sugar cane train which was also pretty exciting for them. Micaiah loved the "choo-choo" the train made as we rode down the track. Saturday was our all beach day. Brandon's parents came for the weekend and hung out with the boys on the beach while Brandon and I got to go paddle boarding all day long with Patrick! It was so much fun! There were a lot more things we wanted to do but it would've been a long drive. So we are already talking about taking them back! Maybe in the spring or next summer...we'll see!
It's nice to be back home again though...Caleb got a nice vacation from doing so much work. But now back to a billion appointments a week!
News:
1. Caleb finally got approved for vital stim therapy and he already got in a few sessions. He's made improvements in just a few visits. Pleas pray that he will improve in each of his sessions and will be eating normally again in no time!
2. Today we had an appointment to review our new xrays from the chiropractor. We were pleased to see Caleb's improvement in the xrays but we could totally see it in him physically. His xray showed that his atlas (top bone of vertebrae) was no longer pressed right on the base of his skull. There is now a space between the top disc and his skull just like it should be. It probably makes him feel a lot better too. We think that he was suffering from bad headaches before getting treatment.
3. When we first started putting Caleb in his walker he would move his feet a little when we asked him too. Now he is able to lift his foot and take a step on his own. (in the walker) And he can hold his own head up while doing so too.
4. At Caleb's physical therapy one time he was in a prone postition and he crawled to me army man style! And another time they had him in the walker but in a crawling stance and he held himself up...his head too! He worked so hard and did more than we thought he would.
Caleb's EEG is finally scheduled for August 21st. Please pray that all goes well as he will be sedated for it and also that the results will be positive and show that he does not have seizures.
We are so blessed to see all of Caleb's progress but I haven't really been paying much attention to everything. I don't know if it's just been so hectic or maybe I've been just focusing on the fact that we have him in our lives. I think I've been getting used to everything as if it were normal. But then I have these moments where I just thank God for healing him as my mind starts to replay the Caleb before the accident. God is so great in the midst of it all even when I'm not paying attention. I love not dwelling on seeing Caleb's progress and the fact that it all just comes!
I will post pictures from our trip when I get them...and I promise I will update sooner. There's been so much happening that I probably forgot to mention some things and maybe I even reported something for the second time. Either way...all is well with Caleb and our family...thanks to all your prayers and God's mighty hand in everything!

Happiness...

2008-07-08T03:18:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to post so many times but I was studying like a mad woman. My finals are finished and I am now starting a second session of summer school as of today. It's an online class and only one this time around so it won't be as bad. I had fun being back in school and was very interested in the material...learning about human anatomy and physiology. It's crazy! How can anyone say there is no God!? Our bodies are made up of so much...so intricately created!
Caleb's been doing fantastic! He's been spending lots of time with just Patrick while I was in school. He's been swimming a lot, went to the movies, and had a KOKA outing. He's been doing a lot better in the pool with moving his legs around. It's such great therapy for him and we are so blessed that Patrick is so willing to just take him in all the time. Brandon and I are still afraid to do it all alone...although I often really want to. We recently picked up the walker that I had mentioned we were going to buy from Abbie. We haven't done "actual" walking with Caleb in it yet but Patrick has been putting him in just to have some time in that position. He stands in it with his knees slightly bent so he doesn't hyper-extend but has his weight still bearing on his legs. He's been able to lift his feet when we ask him to and has been able to hold his head up quite well. The most recent time that he was in it I asked him to lift his leg like how he would in order to walk. We told him to really think about what he was trying to do and focus on the muscles he needs to use. He did it and moved one leg and then the other! It wasn't like he was "walking" but that was an AMAZING feat for Caleb and I was so happy for him!
Micaiah is such a sweet little brother to him and it is so cute to watch them together. Micaiah watches Caleb as he does these things. This time in particular he was watching him and encouraging him too. Caleb started to drool as his head went down and Micaiah said "uh oh" and went and got something and started wiping it up...he was Caleb's own personal clean up crew!
Micaiah often gets involved during Caleb's therapy sessions now too which is good for the both of them. Micaiah isn't just a spectator but gets to do fun stuff too. And Caleb in return gets to do stuff with his little brother.
God has answered my prayers. Before I would dwell on the thought of not being able to watch my boys play together. But I DO get to watch them interact together. It may not be what I had imagined but it is still such a blessing. Sometimes Caleb will be a little punk big brother too when we ask him questions regarding Micaiah...he's just,....so there! His personality is ALL there! It's funny. When Micaiah's being a little rascal when we're out, I'll put Micaiah on Caleb's lap and wrap his hands around Micaiah and tell him to squeeze him so he can't get away. Micaiah likes that and Caleb makes goofy faces.
I'm so happy to be able to be home more now that I don't have to study as much. I've been praying about school a lot. It's so hard...but I think as time goes by I'll learn how to manage my time efficiently. I hate missing all these moments.
Brandon and I have been going through some struggles...not with one another but together with other things and issues. We are aware however that it's attacks and do our best to stand strong. I know we can't please everyone and that people may say things about us but it all doesn't matter in the end. We are all accountable for our OWN actions and thoughts and the only one that really matters is the King of Kings...Jesus Christ! We will live our lives according to what we know and believe to the best of our abilities. Yes we will fall many times as all humans do but God is a God of understanding and forgiveness.
In doing devotions with Caleb, I've been learning a lot. I often will read it to him and then say, hey, that's what I need to do. It's crazy...here I am teaching my children about the Bible and I get slapped in the face. It's always a wake up call...God teaches me through everything!
We are planning to take the boys to Maui sometime very soon! We've been wanting to take them to the aquarium there. Since Brandon has some vacation he's gotta use we've decided to go ahead and take them.
Thank you for continuing to pray for Caleb and our family even when I fail to update with a post! We've been blessed by the continuous prayers and appreciate your thoughts.
God Bless.

YES, What HE gives IS GREAT!

2008-06-13T00:49:00.000-07:00

Micaiah trading hats with Caleb.
A day at the beach!!!

Caleb has been doing so well with using his switches lately and vocalizing actual sounds (of letters). It's been making me quite excited. Sometimes he makes mistakes with his switches and gets upset. You can totally see it in his facial expressions but then he usually corrects himself quickly. He's so quick to respond with questions when it's something he is interested in. Today he got another switch so he can use it to answer either yes or no...just like he does in therapy! We were having a whole conversation with him using his two switches! And he was funny...he made me laugh! I know he's so much happier now that he can somehow communicate at least a little bit with us. Today was Caleb's last speech therapy session. They resubmitted for another six months but we will have to wait on that approval. We are also still waiting on the vital stim therapy (therapy that will help him learn to swallow again.) Please pray that both of the approvals will be done very soon. He's doing so well, I wouldn't want to delay much longer. Caleb also got his "report card" from speech therapy today and I was very pleased to read the entire thing! The things that were listed as his new short term goals kind of shocked me...I know what is happening and that he's going to do it all again but to read those words from a therapist was....the Greatest! I'm so excited to see the new things he will be doing! I can't wait and I know he can't wait.

Caleb has had quite an eventful week...going to the beach, swimming in the pool with Patrick, hiking up Makapu'u, hanging out with his crazy cousins, and his brother too.

This morning Caleb had a slight fever. I prayed over him and gave him some Motrin and it went down and hasn't returned since. But please pray that no sickness will come about.

I am half way done through my summer school. I do like it but I've been missing out on Caleb's therapy appointments. I'm so happy to hear good reports of the things he does but I don't like the fact that I am not there to see it all! This was one of the reasons why I wrestled with the decision to return to school. I don't know what I want to do now...

I bought a new Devotional Bible Book for Caleb and it's becoming a ritual for us to do devotions in the morning! I love it and the fact that we can do something together like that every morning. Sometimes I'll use his switch for him to interact more and answer questions. He's quite knowledgeable for a 4 year old. Here's the Bible Verse from our first day of devotions from this book...

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope." Psalm 130:5 NIV And here was the prayer...

Lord, It's sometimes hard to wait, But what you give is very great. Amen.

Isn't that the most perfect devotion to kick off with? Boy did we have a lot to talk about that one!

I've got TONS of pictures! But I've posted just a little sneak peak. I think I'll have to make a slide show with all the others later. Have a great week!

My HAPPY Birthday.

2008-06-04T23:00:00.000-07:00

Today I celebrated my 24th birthday and a very happy birthday it was! I wasn't able to go to Caleb's therapy appointments today because I had to study for a test that I had to take this afternoon for one of my classes. Patrick took him by himself and I was really bummed that I missed it...
I mentioned how I told Caleb that the best birthday present for me would be to hear him say, "mom." Well, he's been working on it at home and at speech therapy and today in therapy they were coaching him to say "Mom." Patrick said he said "Ma" which almost brought him to tears. So when I came home Caleb was trying to give me my birthday present. He was trying so hard...moving his lips like I've never seen him do before. He ended up being able to push out an "m" sound and an "a" sound at separate attempts but wasn't able to put them together for me. But he kept trying and trying. It was so sweet. He knew it was my birthday and he wanted so much to do that for me. It kind of made me sad that he was unable to do it for me because I could see it in his eyes and in his face that he wanted to give me that so much. I was of course so proud of what he did regardless. I assured him how proud I was and how much happiness that brought me on my birthday. I knew it wasn't as much as he wanted but it was a lot for me. Patrick recorded a happy birthday message on Caleb's switch which he continually pressed as I was near and Micaiah caught on and started wishing me a Happy Birthday also. So I had two little "recorders" going on. Before Brandon and I left for a wonderful dinner he planned I said bye to Caleb. I saw that same look in his face as he started to vocalize a lot again. It was like he didn't want me to go because he hadn't given me my birthday present that he was working on for me. He kept trying and trying again for me. I again told him that what he did made me so happy and that just hearing about what he did in therapy was a great present for me. I told him I know he'd do it more and more because he is so determined and always keeps trying. But I still left a little sad because I knew what he wanted to do and tried to so persistently but was frustrated because it wasn't coming out. Dinner was very nice as always because it's our time alone together. The food was delicious but Brandon's prayer before we ate was the sweetest most beautiful words that just soothed my soul. Oh, and how can I forget to mention that I scored well on my first test! That was a great start for my day! Thank you for all your prayers.
I can actually say that I love school. I never thought I'd ever say those words. But I like it because a lot of it is interesting to me now and it's a couple of hours for me to focus on something else. It's a human anatomy and physiology class and lab that I am taking so I can relate it a lot to things with Caleb. School is great and I am so thankful that I have so much help with the kids and support from Brandon and my family. That makes a huge difference! I've been a lot more tired though and this is the easy part. So I'm skeptical about the fall semester and those to come after that. But I know I've got a lot of prayers so that will help me out a lot!
Caleb also came home from therapy with a bath chair (it's a loaner) and a stand that attaches to his wheel chair for his switch. And we were also told that his own switch came in and we should be getting it soon. It was like birthday presents for me! Never thought I'd get so many! :)
Last week Caleb was doing an "army man crawl" while in a prone position. He was able to scoot himself forward using his legs and pushing his bottom in the air. I guess it was more like a slither or a worm type of movement. Whatever it was...IT WAS AMAZING! I just wish I video taped it! He seems to do so many new things when Patrick is over. I don't know what that's all about but on the weekends I'll do the same things with him but he won't do all the things he does when Patrick is around. I think he likes to show off for him. Patrick is definitely a blessing for Caleb and us! I have a lot of cute pictures to share but I'm too tired to download them to my computer right now so I'll post it separately after tomorrow.
Micaiah is sick once again. Please pray that he will get well fast and that it will not be passed on to anyone else. I only had two hours of "good sleep" last night because Micaiah was really clingy since he wasn't feeling well and when he finally fell asleep I still had to study.
When I am so tired I often catch myself feeling a little upset that I have to wake up so early to tend to him. Then I realize what's going on in my dumb head and remember to be happy regardless of what time it is that he has awakened. Every night and every morning I thank God for another day with my boys and with Brandon so I constantly must remind myself when these feelings creep up that no matter what, I AM THANKFUL. Every day is a blessing. To see my boys up in the morning even if I'm so tired is the greatest gift any parent can have...you never know what can happen and I wouldn't want to ever take that for granted. I love that God reminds me things like this all the time. It really puts a "check" on me.
One more thing that I've learned on my birthday...
I've been more and more aware of how blessed we are that Caleb is God's miracle. I thought to myself, "What would another birthday mean to me if Caleb was no longer here?" Caleb was my life from the day he was born. My world revolved around his. He was my pride and joy. (still is) But he meant more to me than anything else in the world...yes, even God and Brandon. If God took Caleb that Tuesday night of last year, my world would have fallen apart. I didn't have everything in order yet. So to me, to live another day, to celebrate another birthday would be meaningless without my "world." But God has taught me so much through Caleb and I've got my priorities way more in line now. And I am ever so grateful to breathe and live another day..."No matter what happens!"

Back to "Normal"

2008-05-20T01:22:00.000-07:00

LOVE that FACE!!! He still makes me laugh...

Working hard at therapy!

Life's been really busy I guess because I haven't blogged for a long time. I actually never thought to which is odd.
But Caleb is doing great! He's been doing good since he came home. The weekend after he came home he was still a little groggy so he had a lot of relaxing and movie time. (something he rarely gets) He was back to normal after a few days and back to work! Caleb is now off of his antibiotics too. He's been doing GREAT at all his therapy sessions. He tried to crawl...or scoot himself while in a prone position. And he's doing great at speech therapy. He's using two switches now...one that says yes and the other says no. He's doing better and better every time. His therapists are trying to get him to be able to use only one hand at a time and to isolate his movements. Today he was sure trying! It was so funny too because every time he would press the button that he didn't mean to he would frown and make a mad face and then put his head down. He was trying so hard! His therapist even said that you can see that he really does understand but sometimes it's hard for him and he gets mad when he can't do what his mind wants to do. I assured him after his session of how proud I was of him that he kept trying and trying even when he made mistakes. He didn't give up! And when he finally really got into the activity he was doing...he had it mastered!

Brandon and I attended the funeral for the little girl, Destiny, that I mentioned in the previous blog. Wow...did that totally hit us. It reminded us, yet again how truly blessed we are to have Caleb with us. I'm not so sure that I would have been okay if Caleb hadn't made it...if we had to bury our little boy. We got a glimpse of what it feels like to lose our child but we definitely don't know how that is. And then on the news a little boy was killed from a car accident...gosh...I really can't imagine. Please continue to keep the family in your prayers. Also, Levi was discharged from the hospital last week too and is doing better. Thank you for keeping him in your prayers!

Caleb is a MIRACLE and we are SO very blessed to have him here with us even though life may be different and a little harder...it's ALL worth it. It won't be for long anyhow...God is healing him and I see that. Small steps for now...but it's a learning process for US.

I wanted to share a thought about Caleb...

Before his accident he had his favorite songs that he would ask me to play while riding in the car. One of them that he ALWAYS wanted to hear is called THE FIGHT by ANTHONY EVANS...he called it "Wasting my time" as that's a phrase in the song which he thought was the title. Anyways, he would sing along with it all the time. When I was pregnant with Micaiah and after Micaiah was born too, I would tell Caleb to sing to him when he cried. He would ALWAYS start singing that one song to him. It was so cute...and I never thought about it...the words...and the fact that he would sing that particular song over all the others he knew. Here are the lyrics:

There's a part of me no one sees

No one ever finds

There's a mystery deep inside

The constant struggling of who I am

And who I want to be I'm always trying to decide

And it feels like forever

It feels like I'm wasting my time

Then you

You opened up my eyes and now I see

That you

Will finish what you started here in me

So I choose

To follow you and leave it all behind

I'm not giving up this time

You're worth The Fight

In the heart of me I believe

That there will come a day

When every piece of my will be rearranged

I'm hopeful as I wait hanging on each word you say to me

I know I'm better off this way

Your worth

Every mountain I will have to climb

These wars raging in my soul and in my mind cause

I'm sure that one day

I'll be looking in your eyes

and that's worth the fight

After his accident I stayed away from listening to all of his favorite songs...the ones he loved to hear and sing because I would cry longing to hear him singing from the top of his lungs in the backseat as I drove. It was hard for me to even drive my car without having him in his car seat talking non stop. I missed it so much that I shut it out. It wasn't till maybe the later part of last year that I started to listen to this song again...laughing just remembering him singing it. I started to play it for him and sang the song to him. That's when I really made the connection of the words and the fact that this was his ultimate favorite song....and that he ALWAYS sang it to Micaiah.

That's amazing to me. I know that it's all God. HE knew what was to come and HE knows the FUTURE. This song totally fits Caleb and what he is going through and what is to come. I'm just so amazed of all the puzzle pieces that are coming together and it just brings a smile to my face. This song no longer makes me cry tears of sadness anymore but brings me a lot of joy. It reminds me that Caleb is okay. He is... It's us that have a hard time here and there. But he knows that it's all worth it and that it's going to be okay.

The first time I heard this song was when Anthony Evans came to our church to sing. He recently came again a few months ago. We weren't at church that weekend though...we were at a marriage retreat. We really wanted to meet him and tell him about Caleb and this song. Maybe next time.

Tomorrow we're going back to Keiki O Ka Aina which the boys are very excited about! (And Patrick too...haha!) I'm so sad that it will be ending for summer in two weeks. We will miss going.

I am going back to school starting next week. Please pray that I will get plenty of rest and time to study too. Pray that I will do well. I hope I do...it's something that I really want to do. I always wanted to be a nurse from when I was a little girl. After Caleb's accident, my passion became stronger. I want to be a PICU nurse one day! I want to be able to impact families just as all the nurses did for us. So yes, I am going to be finishing up my core requisites and then I will be applying for the Nursing Program at KCC for next fall. So please pray that I will be able to do that! It has been a tough decision for me. I want to do this so much and if I get into the KCC program it would only take me two years. The decision to go back to school was difficult because I'm scared of not being able to do it for various reasons and also that it would take time away from me being with my boys. I love being with them everyday, watching them accomplish new things. But I believe that this is something I need to do. I want to be able to share so much with others...I want to make an impact on others lives that are going through hard times, watching their child fight for their lives...I want to be able to give them hope in the Lord..to share with them the love of God and his endless abilities to do miracles! Prayers are what I will really need.

I was talking to Caleb today about him showing me that big smile that I miss so much and about talking...maybe saying, "mommy?" I told him that would be the best birthday present that I could ever get in the whole wide world! So he's working on it I'm sure. Even though Caleb can't "talk" it's so cute to see his facial expressions when I talk to him about something. It's his way of talking and he does really good at it.

One more thing before I end this "endless" blog...
We just made the decision to switch over all our nursing hours to Cradles N Crayons. I was getting tired of working with the other company...it gave me work that wasn't supposed to be mine. So I'm happy that we now only have one company and that Caleb's hours are being fitted very well. (We miss our nurse from the other company though.) But it lifted a lot of weight off of my shoulders. And we are going to be buying the walker (like the one in the picture above) from Abbie! Can't wait to get it...It will be really good for Caleb to use that more often.

Caleb still hasn't had an EEG since his recent hospitalization. I'm thinking about looking into becoming a technician. :) They seriously need one! Apparently there is only one person who does it and they were out while Caleb was in the hospital and now is sick so his appointment last week was cancelled. How nice. So we are still waiting...It would have been nice for them to do it when he was in the hospital already drugged up. But no, now they will have to sedate him when they do it....great. So I'm not sure yet when he will be getting it done but I will let you know so that you can specifically pray for him on that day for that particular reason.

Okay, I'm done....THANK YOU!

Caleb is back HOME!

2008-05-03T16:51:00.000-07:00

We brought Caleb home around 6pm last night. He was doing well after the first day. He is still a little groggy but we are trying to slowly get him back into his routine. He was so happy to be home...he knocked out as soon as he got into his bed and slept really well...about twelve hours!!! His neurologist doubled his phenobarbital (seizure) medication. If you've been following the blog, that is the one that we were weaning him off of. He was down to 4mL once a day and is now up to 4mL TWICE a day. All of Caleb's blood tests came back okay and his cat scan showed nothing new. He had a trachea infection which isn't that bad considering there are a lot of other worse things that he could have gotten. He was able to get antibiotics that can be given through his g-tube as well as some aerosol treatments. So we are happy to be back home!
We were beyond blessed to have Patrick as Caleb's nurse while he was in the PICU. And were blessed by many loved ones visiting Caleb.
This is the whole story of what happened on Wednesday morning:
At around 4:30 or 4:45 in the morning I awoke to suction Caleb. He had got a cold the day before...showing signs of thick secretions just 12 hours before. So Tuesday night I slept in his be with him and was up most of the time suctioning him. At around that last time I sutioned him, his oxygen levels started to decrease and his heart rate was increasing. I grabbed the oxygen tank (which we never use) and tried to turn it on. But it wasn't going. So I grabbed the back up tank but I had to switch over the key thing. Which I didn't have time to do. His oxygen levels starting decreasing quite rapidly. I was talking to Caleb trying to get him to look at me but he wouldn't. I didn't have time to do anything as he started to turn pale and soon his lips were blue. I grabbed the ambu bag and started performing (trach) CPR with it. His oxygen levels started to increase again as I called out for my mom to come into the room and told her to call 911. His oxygen levels started to go pretty low again for awhile but I was able to keep it at a safe level using the ambu bag until the paramedics arrived. Brandon was on his way to work when it all happened as he had to work early that morning. My mom called him after she called 911 and he turned around and came back home just a little after the paramedics arrived.
When they arrived they took over and I rode with Caleb in the ambulance down to Kapiolani Hospital. He was shaking a lot. When we arrived at the hospital he started seizing (that's what they said). So they dosed him up with A LOT of seizure meds. He stopped and when he was more stable they took him in for a cat scan and then he was admitted to the PICU. He was completely out for that whole day as he was heavily medicated. We weren't worried but it was definitely not fun to be there and brought back a lot of memories from last year. Patrick was there in the ER with us as he came down when I called him and told him what had happened. He stayed with Caleb the whole day. We were blessed to have him to explain some things to us and just for everything...
I prayed the whole time from when his stats started to drop at home. And God graciously gave me peace and I was able to hold my composure.
We missed the fundraiser at Holy Nativity but we heard that they sold all the Jamba Juice that was brought! One of the mothers from Keiki O Ka Aina went down to the school for the fundraiser as everyone that was at KOKA on thursday wanted to buy Jamba Juice to support Caleb! How sweet! ...thank you EVERYONE!
Caleb's fine because of all the prayers that were lifted up once again! I received chains of emails and personal emails on my phone that morning as prayers were going all around! That definitely brought us a lot more peace!
We were able to focus more on others while Caleb was in the ICU. We knew two other kids that were there. There was one little girl who was very ill. I knew her mother as I used to work with her a couple years ago. I was able to talk to the little girl's grandmother also and shared what had happened to Caleb. Caleb was in that situation before...on total life support. Brandon went over to pray for her along with our pastor from Pursuit and a few others. A couple hours later, yesterday...the girl went home to be with Jesus! Her name is Destiny and she was six years old. Could you please pray for her family?! We know she's happy now but I can't imagine what her family is going through. So please keep them in your prayers.
Right next door to Caleb was a couple we know from church...and Pursuit. Their son Levi got sick and was admitted just after Caleb was on Wednesday. He is doing much better now but is still at the hospital. Please keep him in your prayers too! Pray that God will heal him...NOW.
When we left the hospital yesterday...they said they were grateful that we were there because it helped them to stay calm.
The Lord works in all ways! Despite the circumstances...I am glad that we were there when we were and that we were able to help others. God can use EVERYTHING to bring HIM glory!...and to bring us back to HIM!
We are so blessed to be home! Thank you Lord for reminding us where Caleb was at a year ago and what a miracle he is! Thank you Father for showing us your gracious healing in Caleb! Thank you all for your endless prayers. We are BLESSED!

back in the hospital

2008-04-30T08:00:00.001-07:00

we are curerently back in the hospital. caleb is getting a CT right now and will be admitted to the PICU. i had to call 911 early this morning when his sats plummeted. i pulled out the ambu bag and his stats started climbing again! they say he was seizing when we arrived In the er. they gave him a bunch of meds and he is stable now but out of it. i will post again as I am doing this one from my phone.. please pray for our baby. we are not worried for we know that he's in Gods hands! thank you for standing in faith with us! i will update ASAP!

I LOVE NORMAL

2008-04-24T23:55:00.000-07:00

We were all so blessed today to go to Holy Nativity School's Second Grade class. Their teacher goes to the same church as us...we see her a lot because she's on Frontlines but we never got to meet her until a couple Sundays ago when we bumped into her. She told us that her class had chosen Caleb to do a fundraiser for... to bless him in any which way they could. So anyways, after talking to her and emailing we set up today as a time for her students to meet Caleb!
They prepared so much for his arrival. They sang the most perfect songs for him which they chose themselves ("Be" by Tiffany Thurston and "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield), read a great story and Caleb helped them paint the poster that they were making for the fundraiser and he got gifts too! The students were so great with him...it was so cute. They truly treated him like a "regular kid." Before we left they all gathered around him to take pictures. Caleb was blowing some bubbles during the "funny" picture and I noticed the boy who was right by his side blowing bubbles too. It was cute. From the first song they sang until we said goodbye was just so wonderful. I had a hard time holding back the tears. I was overjoyed. We passed out "pray for Caleb" bracelets to them too! They were such a great group of kids...with an amazing teacher!
Here's a part of the email I received from their teacher later on this afternoon (which of course brought me tears of joy):
"I was so blessed today....Gosh, we were trying to bless your family in some small way, but you ended up blessing US instead! Caleb's visit really helped me see yet again, how faithful God is. I heard one of my students went up to Caleb and said..."Wow, you're a handsome guy!" How blessed are all of you, to have so many riches?....Caleb really blessed my life...The third grade class were curious about Caleb, so I invited them into my classroom at lunch to watch his videos. When it was over, I couldn't even talk. I just sobbed over my laptop and managed to choke out the words, "Do you realize how blessed all of you are?"...My assistant and I talked about the need for them to think outside of themselves. That is why we created this project. (Project Kahiau) To give without expecting anything in return. Wow...we didn't expect anything, and we received so much. Thank you so much, for bringing a refreshing spirit to our classroom...for touching the hearts of our students...for making us realize once again, that God is the Almighty..."

God continues to show me how great this journey with Caleb is. I saw today for the first time...Caleb's impact on kids. These kids are learning from Caleb's journey and they definitely have that "childlike" spirit that Jesus talks about...they believe that he will be better and will come back to their school to play with them. (They wrote cute cards indicating so) They are so right! Caleb will be back there one day to play with them...to talk to them...to thank them himself for all that they have done and continue to do for him. There are many purposes for Caleb's amazing journey and I am so blessed once again to be a part of it all. God in trusted me with HIS mighty little warrior and I am so honored everyday! We will be going back to the school next week for their May Day program. They will be doing a Jamba Juice fundraiser for him there at the school that day. Mmmm...how did they know that was our favorite?
This morning in the second grade class of Holy Nativity, I was beyond blessed. Words can't explain how much I appreciated that. It was all for Caleb...but boy did I get so much out of it! Micaiah is blessed to have him as his big brother too. I love that he gets to witness all of this even though he's still so young. I was so bummed that I didn't get to take pictures because my battery died. But I did film much of the day. Hopefully I'll get the pictures from their teacher and then I can post it for all of you. I was so excited that I had to post a blog already.
Later on this afternoon Caleb had speech therapy again. He is really making up for lost time! Yesterday I didn't stay at the hospital for his therapy appointments as he was there for a long time. I didn't want Micaiah to have to sit through his therapy for that long. But Patrick told me that he did so well in speech therapy and was doing it all so fast that the therapist could hardly keep up with him! Today I was excited to see what he had done the day before. He chose to play computer games once again! He plays this using a joystick and the point of the game is to move a picture (which changes every try) to a picture of a computer across the screen. So he has to drag it over and then it has a little show. WOW...he did so well! He was tugging on that joystick and going through that game like a pro! I am so proud of him! So proud...I think daddy needs to buy him a computer so he can play some games at home too! :) When he had first started to play the games today he had been positioned a bit differently and you could see him trying to move the joystick but his hand kept getting stuck. He was getting frustrated and you could see it on his face. But then at one point he made a sound like he was mad already! It made me laugh...that's Caleb, I said! But I of course encouraged him to keep going and never give up as always! And he sure didn't! (But it was so sweet to see that personality of his again.) Which maybe I should mention that I often took for granted. How precious it is to even see him frustrated and getting upset. I know this sounds weird but when you don't always see it...it surely is a gem to be cherished. That's something I often remind myself with Micaiah too now.
Brandon has been working long hours again. It's not so great for us as I hardly get to "really" see him and feel like I haven't "really" talked to him in quite awhile. We miss each other. Which is good in a way because it helps us to realize a lot of things. For Brandon, it's been good too because he hasn't had much time to spend with Caleb. (That of course isn't a "good" thing...especially for Caleb) but I think God is really playing a role in it. See, Brandon has been able to see much more of Caleb's progress since he has been working so much. When you see him EVERYDAY, it's hard to notice the little steps he is making...but Brandon has been seeing every little thing and that for him is so great! It's something that I often miss but sometimes others will point it out.
I will be going back to school in the summer! (It's good that Brandon is making this extra money working overtime...school is so expensive!) Please pray that I will be able to successfully go through my schooling. Caleb is now down to 4ml of Phenobarbital (seizure med). Please continue to pray that he is successfully weaned from his med and that no seizures would EVER occur!
Micaiah was so cute today when he walked into his brother's room...Caleb was sitting in his tumble form chair when Micaiah walked in. Micaiah walked right up to his brother and said, "hi." Then he kissed his brother on the cheek a few times and stroked his arm. It was so sweet...mostly because no one asked him to do it...he just did it on his own. It was...NORMAL. I LOVE NORMAL. All of today was completely NORMAL.

"But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:8-9

I am going to try to post the video I took if I can and promise (for real) to post the pictures that I have when I charge my battery.

More Busy? GREAT!

2008-04-16T03:04:00.000-07:00

Our busy lives are becoming more busy now. But it's great! Especially for the boys. We finally made it to Keiki O Ka Aina! Yeah! Thanks for your prayers. Caleb and Micaiah loved it. Caleb loves to be with the other kids even though he can't do everything they can yet. Patrick helps involve him in everything and helps the other kids feel comfortable around him. I was exhausted at the end of the day after chasing Micaiah around all morning. We're all not used to being out having that much fun for the entire morning so we were exhausted...well, at least Micaiah and I. But it was really fun.
While I was taking my nap, I was awakened by loud voices. It was Patrick and Brandon cheering Caleb on! I went into his room and saw that he was trying to turn himself over (from stomach to back). He was down on his exercise mat on the floor. They were both excitedly cheering for Caleb and encouraging him to turn over. Soon after I walked in, he made it all the way and TURNED HIMSELF OVER!!! Can you imagine our excitement?! I thought back on these steps Caleb went through as a baby. Each new thing that Caleb did as a baby brought so much joy. But this time around was quadruple times that feeling. I was beyond proud of him! He was quite proud of himself too. I know God's healing comes in many different ways. I believe one day I'll just see Caleb instantly walk and talk and be normal. But if Caleb's healing will be in steps like this...it is still just as rewarding and amazing to me. God is good...yes he is! I'm continually blessed, honored, and proud to be a mommy to my amazingly strong and brave little Caleb.
Today is another busy day! Caleb has physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy at the hospital today. Then on our way home we're gonna stop at the Vara's house again to do a hyperbaric treatment!
This time I will not be taking Micaiah with me. Poor guy...He woke up with a really high fever this morning. Brandon also has a fever again so he stayed home from work. He needs this day to rest and re-coop so I'm glad he's decided to stay home to get better. Please pray for Brandon and Micaiah's health. Micaiah keeps getting sick. He gets better for a little while and gets sick in no time. Always the same type of symptoms though. Please pray that whatever is going on in his little body be removed so that he's healthy and stays that way. Caleb didn't catch our colds. Praise the Lord! But now Brandon and Micaiah are sick once again. I'm fine so far and pray that I stay that way. Please also continue to pray that Caleb will not catch their sickness too.
I was watching the video posted on this blog from KGMB 9 News the other day. (The third video down that's posted to the right) I haven't watched it since it aired for the fear of it possibly affecting my spirits and I just didn't want to re-live what happened that day. Anyways, I finally watched it and instead of it bringing me down...it made me so happy and I was able to see how much God has done once again! PTL! If you have seen Caleb recently, or have been reading the blogs, or even by his pictures, you can understand what I mean. Looking at Caleb back then and him now is...almost unbelievable. He's come such a long way. In that video he wasn't even tracking with his eyes yet and he was still all puffy. He didn't move his arms, legs, head,...almost nothing. Wow...try watching it again. I am so blessed to see how far he's come everyday...and I am now even more grateful that KGMB decided to do that video for us. I'm sure the same will go for the more recent one that was done by KHNL in the future. I'm excited...
I am learning to be more faithful to the Lord in many ways. I think God sees that we are trying our best and are definitely in a much better place than we were before and he's happy and rewards us for it. We've still got a lifetime more of learning to do and a lifetime of faith growing to do. We're still in the beginning stages but at least we're growing and taking it step by step. That's all that matters to HIM and it's all that matters to me as well. If I can wake up every morning and move forward everyday, to me, that makes my life worth the journey...for I know that when I am faithful, God is even more faithful! Thank you all for your daily prayers for Caleb and us. We need them everyday and are so grateful that you selflessly pray so faithfully! Thank you. I will post more pictures on the next post as I plan to take some today.
"I waited patiently for the Lord to help me and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along." Psalm 40:1-2
I read this scripture posted on Caleb's wall in his room everytime my spirits are low and it reminds me to be patient as I reflect on all that God has done during every hard step...He was there to carry me through!

A Family of Miracles!

2008-04-10T23:30:00.000-07:00

I was quite upset when Caleb's speech therapist called me to tell me that his speech therapy was finally approved and that we could start sessions for him now. I was excited for him to start but was upset that it took so long and also for the screw ups. Medicaid approved his speech therapy back in December but authorized 24 sessions from Dec. 1 to Dec. 31 and gave it to the therapy office at the ending of December. So of course that was out the window. So it was re-submitted to Medicaid and was just authorized last week. But they back dated it so his 24 sessions started in January and ends in the beginning of June. This means he now has that many sessions to either use or lose. So I'm going to try to take him three times a week but I don't want to overwhelm him. So we'll see how it goes. (The state needs to really do something about this delay in getting services for children who have special medical needs. It's ridiculous and frustrating when you know that they really need it but they take their sweet time or totally mess it all up and then it becomes a longer process.) I think he can handle it...pray that he will enjoy it and will be able to do that many sessions. Plus I'll probably just have him do it on the same days he's there already for OT and PT plus one more day. So it will be long days for him and also Micaiah. After a couple of weeks I may just drop Caleb off with his nurse for his sessions and pick them up when its done so that Micaiah won't have to spend his days in a hospital watching his brother in therapy. And it will also give me some time to spend one on one with Micaiah which I know he will love.
Caleb had his first speech therapy session on Wednesday. He did so well and I was so proud of him, as I am everyday. The therapist was just trying to get a feel of what he likes to do and his way of communicating. I told her he likes to do flashcards. (He always did and was always wanting to learn) So she brought out flashcards with pictures that also had the word of the picture on it. He was using a switch (button) that the therapist recorded a phrase saying "that's the one" and told him to press it when he saw the fish. So I started flipping through the cards and when it got to the fish he pressed it. And we went on to do other cards too...a car, etc. He got it every time! I was so proud of him! So of course we are definitely going to be purchasing a switch like that which his therapist thinks will be really good for him to use right now. She also said that she thinks he is going to do really well and will be able to do a lot. It was a great, positive day.

I took Caleb to the Vara's house again to go in Abbie's hyperbaric chamber. I also had great conversation with Tiffany and am excited to try some other new things with Caleb that has been working really well for Abbie. We will also be purchasing a walker like the one Caleb used at therapy last week. Everyday is a new day for Caleb and he's striding through this journey like he's got a big mission. (And he does!)

I ended up catching Micaiah's cold on Saturday but luckily I didn't get too bad and am feeling much better now. But Brandon also caught the cold and fever too. He's still going to work though and working long hours. (14 hours today!) Yes, he is crazy...but at the same time he's so very faithful and supportive. He says we need the extra money and he needs to be there for the job. I think it's sweet...but I still wish he would stay home for at least one day to try to recover and get rest. He will also be working through the weekend and maybe overtime for awhile. Luckily we were able to have a date night alone on Friday. We knew his work schedule would start to get crazy so we made sure to spend that time together.

Since Brandon was working overtime this past Sunday, I had to go to church by myself with Caleb. I was going to stay at home because Micaiah was sick and I was a little out of it but I really wanted to go since we didn't get to go the weekend before because we were at our retreat. But I decided to go anyway and took only Caleb with me. Well, when I got there, ALL the parking stalls were taken. I couldn't just park anywhere, lower the ramp, wheel Caleb out, and leave him by himself (in the rain too) while I found alternative parking. So I was just going to turn back and go home after waiting (and thinking) a bit. Then I decided to pull on the side and ask the greeters if I could leave my car there for a bit to take Caleb in. They of course said yes so I went in thinking my sister would be sitting in the normal spot so I could leave him with her while I went to park my car. She wasn't there and since our church is so big, it is very hard to find someone in the packed auditorium. So I was going to wheel Caleb right out, go back in my car, and go home. But when I told the usher who had helped us that I had to go...and the whole ordeal...He said, "I'll move your car and go park it for you." God sent me an angel! He not only went to park the car for me but moved his car so that he could park my car on the cement so it wouldn't get all muddy. And then he went and got it for me after service was finished too! All in the rain. How sweet was that...And I was gonna go home. Did God stop me or what? That just made my day...and it was a great sermon which I really needed to hear. Thanks Brian... :) You really passed on God's love (as always) not only to me but to others around who witnessed it too.

I'm for sure going to start taking the kids to Keiki O Ka Aina next week. I wanted to go this week but since I caught the cold and Micaiah was still sick, we had to stay home. So pray nothing stops us from going next week.

The cutest thing happened today. Micaiah wanted to go onto Caleb's bed so Patrick put him up by his brother. Micaiah kissed him and Caleb was looking at him. It seemed like Caleb was trying to talk to him so Patrick said, "Micaiah, what is your brother saying to you?" And he kept putting his ear to Caleb's mouth. But it was his "bad" ear that he put to his mouth. I heard it was really cute. (I was in the shower so I missed it) But I think Caleb was telling him, "Jesus is healing you too!" :) What's even more awesome is that I've been praying a lot for the Lord's healing for both of them. Before I would only pray for the Lord to heal Caleb. But then as I was reading Norvel Hayes book I realized..."Why don't I pray for God to heal Micaiah too!" God can do anything...so I'm believing in miracles for the both of them.
We're just one big miracle family! How blessed!

Little Steps toward Walking!

2008-04-04T00:23:00.000-07:00

Caleb got to go in the walker on Wednesday to practice his walking! I've been waiting for that and was excited when his therapists decided to do that with him. He worked so hard "walking" down the halls. Finally, a glimpse of my boy beginning to walk...or at least going through the motions. I want to get a walker for him to use at home. Of course, like everything else for special needs children, it is quite expensive. But he did so well and I think it will be a good tool for him to practice walking once again. I took plenty pictures of course.

I took Caleb to Abbie's house today to go in her Hyperbaric Oxygen Chamber. He did great the entire time and made faces at Patrick through the little window.

Micaiah fell this afternoon shortly after we came back from the Vara's house. He was running outside in the front yard and fell and hit his face. He got a huge cut which is now turning black and blue. So we took him straight to Kapiolani to check him out and see if he needed stitches. Thankfully he didn't and seemed totally fine while waiting in the ER. He ws running around like himself and it was a challenge to contain my high spirited little boy. I was cautious he may get even more hurt. But he's fine.

In my blogs I've shared a big part of our everyday lives including emotions both up and down, challenges in every form, etc. I've been doing this to try to portray a bit of what our lives are like to help others understand or imagine what days of our journey with Caleb is like. I apologize if anyone may feel offended of my emotions when I blog. I am definitely not perfect at all and in absolutely no way mean to put others down or put myself above others. I often do share how sometimes others affect the way we feel or may cause a bit of a hurdle for us to overcome. But I do not think anything is wrong with that. I understand that doing this blog there maybe some opinions or misunderstandings. (I often just ramble when I get the chance, don't proof read, and most of the time I'm doing it at midnight or later.) But it's just like emailing letters sometimes...you don't always perceive it the right way. I guess that's why talking is the best bet. I've in fact thought about not doing this blog anymore but everytime I start thinking that, someone comes up to me and comments on how it helps them and that makes it all worth it. I wanted to do this to tell all about Caleb's progress and everything that comes with this amazing journey. But the biggest reward is that it helps people in their lives. And if this just helps one person, that's a good enough reason for me to continue.

Micaiah caught another cold w/fever this time. Please pray that Caleb will not catch his cold and that I may get rest to care for them both and also that Brandon can get some sleep so he won't be as tired when he comes home from work. Caleb slept so well last night and Micaiah was up all night. It always has to be a tag team thing I guess. Boys, boys, boys...Gotta love 'em! :)

Also, I've recently come across a blog of a little boy named Aidan who drowned in February. Please pray for little Aidan and his family. He looks amazing and is looking forward to getting discharged from the hospital soon. Check out their blog: prayforaidan.blogspot.com
or click on the link to the right of this page.

A bit of normalcy

2008-04-02T01:15:00.000-07:00

This was taken at therapy. Micaiah got to join in the fun with Caleb! Fun, Fun!!!

Caleb and "the boys" at school. What a cute picture!
This is a funny picture. I don't think he was too happy that I was making him practice writing.

Wow, it's been so long since I last blogged. I do apologize. All is well at our home and Caleb is doing great. The week before spring break I took Caleb to his school (Kaimuki Christian) to visit his friends. They all gathered and sang songs and his buddies took pictures with him. I took him to check out the new playground too. He's a celebrity there. All the kids know him and everywhere you here, "hi, Caleb" or "that's Caleb" or a bunch of questions about him. It was great and he was happy to see his little friends.

Easter was wonderful. What a day to celebrate that Jesus is alive! Caleb joined in the festivities coloring eggs and doing an easter egg hunt with his brother and cousins. We had a great time with family. How nice it was to be at home instead of in a hospital room for easter!

Caleb, Micaiah, and cousins with their colored eggs!!!

Caleb with all his cousins after the easter egg hunt.

Last week we went to Chuck E Cheese for his cousins birthday. We bumped into a couple of his friends from school there too and their mommies and one of the doctors that cared for him in the ICU. Brandon was encouraging him to learn how to sallow and move his mouth so he could eat pizza as he held a slice in front of him. Caleb started moving his jaw up and down in a chewing motion! We were so excited to see him do that!

I will be taking the boys to Keiki O Ka Aina starting either this Thursday or next week for sure. I'm so excited and so are they. I believe it will be a great thing for them to interact with other kids. I was also just informed that KOKA will be starting a program for children with disabilites in a couple months. How great! I can take them there too! I've been trying to focus on finding out how I can teach Caleb now. We've got a schedule down of all his physical therapy needs and fun stuff but I really want to learn how to teach him. I've still been teaching him somewhat the same way I did prior to his accident. But it's hard to know if he's got it or not. I think I would have to work with switches and a speech therapist to further that. But I've got some information to give me a start.

I just started to add some new things to Caleb's diet. For now, just a little bit of fruit then maybe some veggies. And I also added some other vitamins. (Thanks, Tiffany)

I will hopefully be taking Caleb to do some hyperbaric treatments a little regularly now too at Abbie's house. We are beyond blessed to have the Vara Family in our lives and to live so close to them!
Brandon and I had a weekend getaway this past weekend. It was AMAZING. We went on a United Marriage Encounter (http://www.unitedmarriage.org/) We haven't spent time together like that since we first started dating. We really got to grow together, appreciate one another, re-kindle our love, and learn tools to enhance our marriage and to continue to grow in love. I'm hesitant to give too much away. I wouldn't want to spoil it for anyone wanting to attend one of the weekends. But we recommend EVERYONE who is married to go on a United Marriage Encounter weekend. Check out the website. It is not for troubled marriages...you can be married one year or 50 years. We've seen people who benefited even after being married for a long long time. All we can say is it was absolutely great and we recommend this as a top priority! I've never been so in love...

Oh yes, and the book I had mentioned that I am reading continues to amaze and teach me! Jesus is an amazing God..the one and ONLY healer! There's been a lot more normalcy in our lives lately. I think it's just a different outlook now. I've been trying my best to fit Caleb into everything normal and living as he IS HEALED. And for me, it has made my life much, much brighter.

I do have some prayer requests...The first would be for Caleb to get his trach out very soon. The second would be for smiles. (It seems he's working up to them) And of course for complete healing!

God Bless!

Excitement Ahead!

2008-03-10T22:30:00.000-07:00

Here's some pictures from Caleb's "Re-Birthday" Party on March 6, 2008. Photos courtesy of Uncle Patrick...
Caleb on March 6, 2008

re- birthday kisses from brother

Caleb and his buddy Jonah and the mommies

We are so glad to have him on this day, to hold him in our arms. What a blessing!

Everyone singing praises for Caleb's life at his re-birthday party!

I don't know how I could have forgotten to mention how great last week was. God showered us with many blessings, and positive people with wonderful things to say about his progress. There was so much happiness that God clearly helped me to see the whole week leading up to March 6th. Caleb went to Shriners last week to get some new splints for his feet. The doctor that he sees there also re-evaluated him. These were his words..."He's doing really great since the last time I saw him. His arms and legs are loose and he's able to move them a lot. You guys are doing a great job with him...he looks really good. I'm excited!" He said he's excited...How cool is that to hear from a doctor? I love him :)

It is possible that Caleb could have had a terrible week. But God is awesome and faithful! It made March 6th to be much more of a blessing.

I'm planning on taking Caleb to see his friends at school before they go on Spring Break. I haven't told him yet but I know he will be really excited about it. I'm excited to see his reactions this time around.

Caleb will be starting a new program with UH. It will consist of working with students studying speech pathology. It will be great for him since he currently isn't getting any speech therapy. Plus I hear they will be able to help us in getting him some things that we may want for him. Like the "motor chair" I wrote about previously. What's even better is that they can come to our house which makes things much easier for me with Micaiah and all. I'm excited for him to start this program this week. Things are getting much more crazier as I start to add new things into Caleb's care. But he is making such great progress! I hope to start them going regularly to Keiki O Ka Aina very soon too! Both of the boys need some kid interaction and learning time!

This week we will be getting two new nurses which wasn't expected but I've met them and watched them with Caleb for a little bit and I really like them. So that's great! Patrick will be needing all of your prayers tomorrow. Just pray that God watches over him... Caleb needs him..we need him.

Brandon and I will be celebrating our one year wedding anniversary next week. And what a milestone that is! It's been a tough first year of marriage but we made it and will continue to be celebrating many more to come. We got married 12 days after Caleb's accident last year right in the PICU at his bedside. It was the most memorable and unique wedding I could have ever asked for. The nurses in the ICU got us one of the conference rooms in the cafeteria to celebrate in and made sure we had the sleep room that night. I'm so happy God chose to have us married at that time instead of when we had originally had our wedding day set for. Again, God had his hand in it all!

Can you please join me in thanking Jesus everyday for Caleb's complete healing? And BELIEVE with all your heart!

Jesus says, "...whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Mark 11:24

ONE YEAR

2008-03-06T23:30:00.000-08:00

Psalm 118:24 says..."This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!"

Today was definitely a day to REJOICE and be GLAD!

This past Sunday we went to another church to hear Norvel Hayes again and to speak with him and his wife. It was awesome...a great refresher for us, specifically for this week. It was a really small church. We met a woman who lost her one and a half year old son to drowning years ago. She cried as she reminded us what a miracle Caleb is.

Right there I knew that this is a time for me to REJOICE! Thank you Lord for giving me my son! All the hard times that we encounter doesn't matter when we think about the alternative fate of March 6, 2007. We are so thankful that God brought him back when the doctor said he was dead and so thankful that he has given us hope for the miracle he will do in Caleb. Me and God had a really long talk early this morning. I had so much to be thankful for today.

Caleb's "Re-Birthday" Party was great! There were so many people that came out to celebrate his life with us! We are so blessed....beyond what I could ever imagine! We had a house full of life and laughter and smiles and children and love.....and food! Thank you to everyone who came over tonight! You can't imagine how much it meant for all of us! Thank you also to everyone who kept Caleb and all of us in your prayers even if you couldn't come! Prayers as we know are extremely powerful! My sister made a great video of Caleb's life with pictures and video ranging from his birth till now. It was a tear-jerker of course, but very beautiful. Caleb got all excited when his best friend from school came. When he heard him running around and playing he was moving so much...he just wanted to jump right out and run around too! I think it was great for people to see him after not seeing him for awhile and also for those who've made a great impact on our lives and haven't even met Caleb til tonight to finally see him in person. Today was more than I prayed for...God is awesome...he's surrounded us with so many loving people everywhere we go!

Brandon's been working long overnight shifts at work all week as I mentioned in the previous blog. He only got to stay for a little bit...I think he's fine. I haven't got a chance to even really talk to him all week or spend any time with him. We miss him...but he did get to play with the kids a little bit. He'll be working throughout the weekend 'til monday on those shifts. What a great and hard working husband I have! :)

It's been one year and I can't believe it. Time flew quickly and as I look back on this last year. All I can really say is...GOD IS GOOD! Despite the tragedy of Caleb's accident, God has turned it around to use our special child for his Glory and despite the numerous hard times we have encountered I would still rate this last year, THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE! Call me crazy...but I meant it. God's love is the best thing I've known and he has showed me so much love this last year than I have received in my lifetime with all my family's love for me combined!

Caleb had a great day...so did we...all is good...and I've got the biggest smile on my face! Blessings and many thanks to you all! We love you more than you know! Patrick took some pictures tonight which I will probably get this weekend, so I'll post it when I've got it!

"Kamakana"

2008-02-29T13:56:00.000-08:00

Caleb's been doing so well and he's had great days this past week. On Wednesday at therapy he rode a tricycle again. The first one he rode was a bit to small for him I think. His foot got caught with the pedal. After that he didn't want to ride it anymore and kept his legs straight out so no one could "make" him ride it. Smart guy...
So they brought out the tricycle he rode the last time and he was okay to ride it. It was so cute. Caleb's occupational therapist mentioned a motor chair. She asked if we had ever heard anything about getting him one. I was stunned...I asked, "you mean a wheelchair that moves the kind that people control themselves?" She said, "yeah." Again...I was stunned. Wow. She thinks he could totally do it and said she'd look into it. All I could say was...PRAISE GOD! It wouldn't even matter to me right now if he could do it or not but for his therapist to say that and actually think he could do it made my day...no, more like my year. That goes to show how quickly he is progressing.
Caleb also had his swallow test done on Wednesday. The therapist said that she can see that he is really trying to do what he needs to do in order to swallow but he does need help to strengthen the muscles in his tongue and mouth in order to do so. She showed us exercises to do with him at home that she believes will help him out a lot and seemed to have much confidence that he would be able to at least reach the first goal of his therapy before actually starting therapy at the hospital. The news made me quite happy to hear that...
Yesterday I took the boys to Keiki O Ka Aina...finally. I've been holding it off because I just hadn't done the paperwork and I needed to go to the doctor to get the usual TB test and such done. But I was able to take them to "check it out." Caleb loved it...being around other kids who were very interested in him. At first they were a little apprehensive and curious but Patrick made them feel comfortable with him and talked to them about him and then they were totally cool with him. Caleb and Patrick were the highlight of their day at Keiki O Ka Aina I believe. Caleb loved it...his reactions were very similar to his excitement at the Soccer Game. (By the way, I posted the news video on the right side of the blog for you to watch if you didn't notice.)
Micaiah also loved it. I'm definitely going to submit my paperwork now so I can take them weekly.
I don't think I ever mentioned about the turtle that was named after Caleb. Caleb's Hawaiian name is Kamakanapomaika'imaikalani (the blessed gift from heaven) or "Kamakana" for short. We actually call him Kamakana...anyways, Patrick works with the turtles up on the North Shore everyweek. He was the one to find one of the new turtles that came in and therefore got to name him. So he named him Kamakana! They found out later that this turtle actually had come before and had disappeared for a year and then came back!
So here's a little story of what Kamakana the turtle did this past Monday according to Patrick:
"Kamakana go stuck on a rock while coming to shore. Any other turtle would just go around the rock. But not Kamakana! He went over the rock. He struggled for quite a bit, slipping back down but persisted to get over it. And at one point had his fins (like hands) up on the rock, lifting his upper body. (picture ariel in little mermaid on the rock) Whatever it took, Kamakana made it over the rock." Patrick got pictures of the whole process that I just explained. Here's one: "Kamakana" courtesy of: Uncle Patrick

Isn't that an amazing story? Just like Caleb...He's going through something big and tough. He can't go around it but has to go through it. No matter what, he keeps trying and fighting...he's no ordinary little boy and won't try to do it any other way. He continues to keep pushing himself up. If he "slips" he just keeps going until he finally gets through it! That's our "Kamakana!"

Don't forget...MARCH 6th, THURSDAY...Caleb's potluck celebration at our house ~ starting @ 5pm (come by anytime though! before, or after) Caleb usually falls asleep somewhere around 7pm...so the earlier, the better! EMAIL me @ prayforcaleb@yahoo.com for more information!

2008-02-27T02:16:00.000-08:00

@ the Pan-Pacific Soccer Tournament

Brandon got to hold the $28,000 trophy. Caleb fell asleep by then.

This past weekend I attended a seminar with a doctor from texas, Dr. Tennant. He is the one who created the formula that we feed Caleb and the device that I bought to use on Caleb to restore his voltage. I could go into depth about it but I probably wouldn't make much sense. I think everyone should go to that seminar!!! :) There was a lot of information and a lot to process but it was so great and I'm so glad I got to go. Brandon and I got to stay at the hotel that the seminar was held. (we are blessed)

Caleb is doing great and was able to quickly fight off his cold by himself...and with the grace of God and prayer. Tomorrow he will be going for a swallow test that medical FINALLY approved. Sadly though it is just an evaluation which means that it will then need to be submitted again and will hopefully be processed quickly so he can get therapy very soon.

Caleb's been doing a lot of swimming lately with Patrick. It seems to be great therapy for him as he is able to lift his legs to the surface of the water and then back down again. We are so blessed with wonderful nurses!!!

I finally overcame one of my "giants." Last week, for the first time since Caleb's accident, I went into the pool. I actually hadn't even realized that I never went in since then but the pool is something I've despised ever now and then. It was nice to finally overcome that. Now I have to go in with Caleb...something that will probably be a little tougher for me but I'll do it...someday!

March 6th is just 8 days away. Wow. I can't believe it's been a year. God has blessed us so much and has produced much fruit through Caleb. We've met so many wonderful people along the way and have been transformed daily by what God teaches us through this trial.

As you can see...we had lots of fun :)

Last week Wednesday as some of you know we got to go to the Pan Pacific Soccer Tournament with passes to go on the field.."behind the scenes." KHNL put it together and some others were involved also. Patrick was the one who actually told them about Caleb...So we got to go and see the pros practice and up close and personal! Caleb stayed up to watch the whole first game! He had a great time. He kept putting his head forward so he could see the field and watch the game. KHNL did a news story on Caleb that night which came out really nice. I'll post it up soon. We all had so much fun. Brandon absolutely loves soccer so it was a great thing for him too.

We will be having Caleb's celebration next week Thursday at our house. We're calling it a "rainbow" party which you can probably understand if you've been reading the blogs. It reminds us of God's promise! I've talked to Caleb about it and he's excited to see people that he loves and of course, for a party! Everyone is welcome to come! Email me at prayforcaleb@yahoo.com and I'll will send you our address! Brandon will probably be working long night shifts all next week...of all times! So he may not even be able to be at the celebration. So please pray for him...I know it's a hard time and for him to have to be working may be harder on him. This is probably just another "rock" being thrown at us but it'll be okay...it'll pass and God will prevail.

We are still praying for Caleb's healing and will never cease till he is healed! Please continue to pray for Caleb with us!

"This is the day!"

2008-02-14T23:00:00.000-08:00

As I write this blog, Caleb is sleeping so peacefully in his bed right next to me. He's so precious...I love to watch him sleep. It brings me back to a state of normalcy. On occasion Caleb would wake up in the middle of the night and stand at the side of our bed staring at me, not wanting to wake me up but wanting something from me...usually to come in our bed with us. It was pretty freaky waking up to someone staring right at me. And now I just love to do that to him.

Caleb's been doing great. He caught a cold on Monday as well as Micaiah and they were both up all Monday night/Tuesday morning. Caleb's doing okay now though...he's fighting it off on his own. Their doctor did a house visit today to check out the boys and Caleb doesn't need any medication. He's doing way better. Micaiah on the other hand needs to go on medication again...But nights have been better since then.

Thank you for your prayers for Brandon and I. Our dinner this past weekend went well...I think. We were okay. It was a little hard for us the day before...and a little after. But all in all, it was great. We got to sneak away for a little bit tonight all alone. Caleb had a nurse and my mom agreed to watch Micaiah for us. We had planned to catch a movie but didn't make it. Didn't really matter since the only movie that we could watch was one that we didn't really care to watch. Let me just say that it was the best valentine's day yet! We had a great night!

I've been looking forward to March 6th for the last few weeks. That's weird for me to say that but I can honestly say now that I am looking forward to it. I know it will be a hard day for all of us but it's Caleb's new birthday! I've been praying a lot more lately...talking to God a lot...mostly thanking him and appreciating all that he's given me. (It was a great service at church this past sunday) I've realized lately how much exercising everyday is benefiting not only my health but my emotions. Plus it's a great time for me to just think and pray and spend time with God.

But I can't imagine what life would be like if on March 6th, 2007, God had chosen to not bring Caleb back to life. I can't imagine not having him here with us and I am so grateful that he is here! Brandon and I talked about that tonight and despite how tough it's been we still believe that God is going to restore him completely someday. March 6th is coming up very soon and while we realize that it will be a very hard day for us, we've decided to celebrate Caleb's new birthday by throwing him a party. After all, we should be thankful that this is the day that God brought him back to life after the doctor pronounced him dead. As it says in the Bible..."This is the day that the Lord has made I shall rejoice and be glad in it." We haven't planned anything yet, as we've just decided to do this. And then that weekend we will be going on a retreat to spend some time with God since it will be a challenging time...

Everyday I wake up and pray and believe that "Today will be the day." And every night before I go to sleep I thank God for all that he's done and believe that "tomorrow will be the day!" Someday Caleb will be healed but for now I am thankful that I have my son here with me to hold no matter how challenging each day may be. At least I have him here and that's definitely something to be thankful for. Not everyone gets that second chance...we've seen people lose their children while Caleb was in the ICU. And I can't imagine going through that.

My prayer tonight? Thank you Father for your miracles...

I know I promised more pictures this blog but I am posting this via my phone so I will edit it by putting pictures when I can get my computer up again...Happy Valentine's Day!

God pulls us through!

2008-02-04T08:52:00.000-08:00

Mommy and Caleb on Christmas Day

Daddy and Caleb in the big mouth @ The Children's Discovery Center

God is amazing! And HE never ceases to remind us that he is watching over Caleb and that his healing is happening! Of course, things don't happen the way I want it to. I've got more lessons to learn on being patient and waiting for God's timing. But as you've read in the last blog, we have been going through a rough time.

Last week Thursday however, Patrick (one of Caleb's nurses) put him down on his stomach for a bit. And as he watched him, Caleb turned his head from one side to the other! As this may not sound that great, trust me...it is huge for him! And I've been realizing that just the fact that he can even move and turn his head is a huge deal for him. I remember when he couldn't move his head at all and couldn't hold it up on his own at all. All he would do is track with his eyes. We were more than overjoyed to see him do that on Thursday.

On Wednesday at therapy, Caleb got to ride a tricycle! He had a lot of fun. His feet were taped to the pedals and his hands to the handrails. (sounds like torture, I know. Looked a little like it too) But he loved it and it was great therapy for him to move his legs like that.
Yesterday at church, Caleb was moving so much too...his hands were nice and loose and he was moving them and his right arm was even turning, palm up then palm down. And his feet and legs were moving too. I didn't know if he was trying to dance to the worship music (Point of Grace was there singing) or if he was trying to get up! But it was wonderful.

So despite our rough emotions that we've been going through, God has pulled through victoriously and has reminded us that he's never going to leave or forget Caleb or us even though we may not see it or feel it. God is always there!

That got me thinking even more...

How awesome it is to have a God who loves us so much that no matter how foolish we are or no matter how many times we keep messing up, he's still there holding us, being a father that no one else could be. We all have ups and downs...if you've been reading along with this blog, you know how our/my emotions are like a rollercoaster and I go into my depressions where I'm angry with God and wanting him to show me something more with Caleb. And EVERYTIME he answers me...and all of you who pray for Caleb and us daily...

God's probably thinking, "Kehau, I'm here, I'm healing Caleb everyday...open your eyes and see! When will you realize that? Have you no faith?" Even though I am this way, God still loves me and shows me when I'm in the pits. Amazing...

As God pulls through as always, he reminds me again in Philippians 4:6..."Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thansgiving, present your requests to God And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Brandon and I will be speaking at a dinner this Saturday. But this time we will be speaking more about our marriage...and our struggles on top of going through everything with Caleb and how we've pulled through. As always, we will need lots of prayers since everytime we speak, the devil prowls around trying to attack any chance he gets. I know it will be tough this week, especially for Brandon and I...but I know we can get through it. I will NOT be anxious!

Brandon and I in Vegas!

Watching the watershow @ the Bellagio.
I've got many more pictures to share but while writing this blog I got a call that our nurse for today is sick...and Caleb's got appointments today so I've got to end this so I can get him ready. I'll post more pictures next blog. Blessings!

2008-01-25T01:30:00.000-08:00

Sorry, I've been having computer problems again. But I think we've finally got that solved! We are back from Vegas and back to reality. Vegas was good. The boys were good. The first couple of nights Caleb didn't sleep to well for my mom but the last two nights he was good. The night we came home however, he hardly slept! He kept me up all night. I think he wanted to hear all about our trip. I was tired...but he missed us. Micaiah missed us too I think. He was very clingy after awhile. He had a blast though, playing with his cousins everyday. Brandon and I enjoyed going on all the roller coaster rides and those crazy ones on the stratosphere. Vegas isn't really our "scene." But we had fun. Probably won't go back again though. It was so cold too! There was a lot of temptations for us in sin city. (of course) As we were walking down the streets of Vegas and talking we were wondering how we got there and why we were there. I mean, it was amazing that everything worked out so quickly so that we could go on our mini vacation. Was it God? Why would God want us there? Was it a test? Whatever the reason...at least we got to spend some alone time...and a lot of talking time. And despite the temptations to do things we used to do we didn't. When I was feeling tempted, Brandon helped me to reject it and vice versa. But to be honest, I think it was harder for me.
When I called home to talk to Caleb on the phone he was very excited and made the longest and loudest sound I've heard! He was trying to talk to me!...I missed the boys a lot and was very excited to come home.
I've been having a very hard time lately. Although, I was expecting that both Brandon and I would when we got back. (Reality Check) I've been so upset at God. I've been asking him a lot of questions...a lot of requests...and i'm not getting anything. Why can't he just give Caleb back his smile? All I want right now is at least that smile!...Yeah, I do want more but a smile would be good...no, great!
On Tuesday the boys had to go see their ENT (ear, nose, throat specialist) again. It was not a good appointment for Caleb. No really good news...looks like he's not close to getting his trach out. So on top of my already having a really difficult time...I got a not so good report. On our way to OT on Monday we passed by Punahou where they are setting up for their annual carnival. All I can remember is Caleb on one of those rides, sandwiched between his two cousins laughing, smiling, and having a blast on the ride. (I've got a picture of them)...and again, this adds to my dealing with my hard time. I guess I've been letting my guard down and have been letting that devil get to my emotions and my thoughts.
Caleb did really well with his movements at OT on Monday which made me quite happy. He's been going swimming more often too with his nurse. He seems to like it and apparently did really well today in the pool when Patrick asked him to do certain things. I totally missed it all. But was glad to hear all that he did. He must've had a active day today because he went to sleep really early. We all went to the chiropractor tonight a little after Brandon got home from work and on our way home he fell asleep...I hope he sleeps soundly tonight. I need a good night's rest. Micaiah got sick just before we got back from Vegas. I took him to the doctor earlier this week and found out he has walking pneumonia. He's fine though and you would never know that he's sick...except for the fact that he's got a runny nose. I just pray that Caleb does not catch a cold! We wouldn't want him to get it! I've got a lot of pictures to share and I promise I'll put it up in the next blog once I load them to my computer. Hopefully I can get that done this weekend!
I'm trying to focus on getting back on track right now...I've strayed away from God during my rough time...but I need him more than anything and I'm trying to keep my head up...
Please pray that Caleb will do something to give us a piece of hope...a BIG sign of his healing. A smile, talking,...ANYTHING! In less than one and a half months....it will be a year since Caleb's accident. I can't believe it's been almost a year already. I don't even want to think about that. I want March 6, 2008 to be a day of celebration and not a day of sorrow. I want to be able to celebrate that the Lord brought Caleb back to life a year ago. I want to praise him rather than being angry with him. I'll post a new blog soon! Just wanted to get one in quick before the weekend! God Bless!

A fascination of God's promise

2008-01-05T08:25:00.000-08:00

Well, it is Saturday morning and I'm blogging. That's odd. Caleb's been falling asleep a bit later lately but hasn't been sleeping so well. Last night he was so tired but for some reason couldn't sleep so well. Poor guy...I tried soothing him by massaging his neck and rubbing his head. (He loves that and always gets sleepy when I do that) It helped him out I think.
Caleb's wheelchair got taken back yesterday. We were bummed out...so now we have the loaner one again! They are doing some adjustments on his chair so that it fits him better. His old physical therapist stopped by in his session early on this week and noticed a bunch of things that needed to be adjusted on his chair. I agreed and had some other things that we had noticed about it too. So I guess it's good that it's going to fit him better. I'm sure it will make him a lot more comfortable. But they were saying that one downside to fixing it would be that it would leave less amount of him to grow into. Meaning he won't be able to use it for as long. While that does sound disappointing, I believe that he won't need it for that long...so I really don't care. :)
Rainbows have been a fascination for both Brandon and I since Caleb said "rainbow." I journaled the other day on the story of Noah and how God sent the rainbow to remind us and him of his promise! So I'll share a bit of what I had got out of it.
When Caleb said rainbow, we were both extremely ecstatic. But for me, I was also a bit sad. I wasn't there when he said it...I didn't get to hear it and that really hit me. Especially since he never said anything else since. But then as I started to think more about it I realized that God had played a huge part in that. Plus I started to think about why he said that particular word. I think God wanted Caleb to remind us of his promise. Since a rainbow represents a promise God made to Noah, I also believe that it's a symbol of ALL of God's promises! So maybe God wanted to remind us that YES he is here and is healing Caleb! He IS fulfilling his promise! And we must continue to look forward till God completely heals Caleb! The funny thing about that too is that I've seen a rainbow every single day since then! And it always brings a smile to my face. As Brandon and I were eating dinner last night, I was sharing my devotional time with him and he had been thinking the same thing! Rainbows brings smiles to our faces despite what ever we may be going through that day....and I am so grateful for that and for all that God has done to remind us everytime it seems like nothing is happening.
The star thing that we bought Caleb for Christmas seems to really fascinate him. It's so funny because everytime it's turned on for him at night, he fights to stay up a bit longer just to look at it. The other night when he woke up very early I turned it on for him. His eyes were only slightly open but after I turned it on they immediately became very widely open. Bad move...he was up for a very long time. And I was very exhausted the next day. But I got some physical therapy in with him since he was up.
Brandon and I will be going on a four night trip next week! We are both very excited! It's our very late honey moon...I guess. It was just planned a couple days ago. What happened was that my grandparents had already had a trip planned but my grandpa is having a hard time walking now and wouldn't be able to go. So my grandma wanted to cancel. But being that it was so last minute, she was unable to of course. So she said she could switch over the trip to our names if we could go! (We just had to pay a little) But it's much more worth it for her that we use it instead of it going to nothing. So in two days time we were able to arrange everything and we are going! God definitely wants us to go...I'm not sure why, but he has his hand on it! If he didn't we wouldn't have been going! Maybe he just wants us to take time off alone and to enjoy each other and to miss the boys and be so much more rejuvenated when we come back home! Who knows...I guess we'll find out later. So we will be going to VEGAS! :) We were able to book a show too which I am very excited about! We'll be watching Stomp! We're still talking about seeing some other shows that I really want to go to. But it's pricy...so we're not sure yet. The crazy thing about it is that our nursing hours for that week are really good already! And Patrick will be filling in where we need some extras. We asked our nurses to come in a little earlier though so that my mom can make it to work on time. We're still waiting on one more nurse though to see if she can. My mom will be staying with Caleb through the night everynight and also in the evening for one night when we don't have a scheduled nurse. Please pray that Caleb will sleep better than every before for her so that she isn't up all night and tired all day at work. My sister will be watching Micaiah the whole time we're gone. She needs prayers! That little one is a little crazy...but she's a pro at it. She's got three and one more on the way. Brandon's mom will be coming down on two of the days to drive Caleb to his appointments with the nurse too. Brandon was able to get off of work and will be missing two school days but that was also ok'd. Crazy! Everything works out. Thank you Lord for all these hearts you've placed in our lives to help us out so much! We're so blessed with such wonderful nurses and family and friends and compassionate bosses (Brandon's). So please pray for everyone helping us and watching our boys for us. I'm really gonna miss them...probably by the time we get there. (Brandon says I'm such a little sucker when it comes to leaving them.) I agree.
Oh and I was able to combine Caleb's weekly appointments into two days a week which is much better than three. But we also have a Saturday morning appointment every week too. Plus on occasion he will also have other doctor's appointments so that just helps out so much! Then I've got Micaiah's appointments that I have to take him to which I often push back because of something with Caleb. (That's horrible, I know) Micaiah's almost 14 months now and he's only going for his 1 year check up this week. When I had scheduled his appointment last time, Caleb had a fever and I didn't want to have Micaiah not feeling well from all the shots at the same time so I held off. And now he's got his Easter Seals people that need to come over to reassess him... But all these appointments are great for Caleb so thank God that he is able to go to them!
Anyways, God Bless you all and thank you so much for continuting to pray for Caleb's healing and for all the other things that we need prayer for! You can't imagine how much that means to us!

New Year...More Blessings

2008-01-02T00:57:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year Everyone!
We had a wonderful New Years Eve! Caleb got to play with sparklers (not morning glories because they are too smoky) But he played some with Brandon. Thankfully our neighborhood isn't so smoky so it was nice. But Caleb fell asleep at about 8 or 9 and didn't wake up till 630 in the morning! It was amazing! Except for the fact that I went to bed at about 2am...Micaiah loved playing with the fireworks and he loved the loud ones more than the kiddy stuff. But fell asleep at 11:58pm! We were fine during the New Year...I thought it would be tough but it was okay.
I've noticed that Caleb has been moving a lot more lately. At first it was just his head that was moving a bit more. His head is moving a lot more and his limbs are starting to move more too! PTL! His movements have been getting me really excited and I am so very ecstatic about it! Let's pray that his movement continues to become more and more. Oh and please pray that he will get his Vital Stimulations therapy very soon. I also need to schedule an EEG because his neurologist wants to check that he's not having seizures...i guess. I'm not worried about it but please pray for that also. We are down to 8mL of phenobarbital (seizure med). And in 23 days will be down to 7!
A couple of weekends ago I tempted to take the boys out on my own for the first time since March 6th. I took them to the aquarium and then to the mall just for a little bit. It was great and I was so proud of myself! I feel so much more confident now because I know I can do it. It's tiring but manageable...and I enjoyed spending some time alone with my little boys. I think they enjoyed themselves too.
Thank you all for being such a blessing in our lives during the toughest year of our lives. 2007 turned out to be great because we are so blessed to have all of you in our lives! Thank you and may you have a blessed 2008!
There's one thing that's been bugging me, as I realize now that it is January 1, 2008... In two months, it will make a year since Caleb's accident. And you can't imagine how many mixed emotions are going through my head right now...I'm scared...but thankful...blessed...but want so much more...If you could start to pray for us as that time starts to draw near that would be very much appreciated. Caleb's going to be going through a lot of healing and we just need all the prayers we can get! Thank you and happy new year!

This is a verse Brandon wanted to share as he has been listening to it daily on his podcast and continues to be highly impacted everyday:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accets as a son. (or daughter! :) )
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed."

Even though this is so hard, we are so thankful for all that we are going through...It has made us so much stronger and God has really shown us how much he cares about us. Our lives are changed forever and I'm so thankful that I will be living an eternal life with MY FATHER! My prayer is that no one will ever have to go through this or something even worse to realize that God is REAL and turn their lives completely over to him! I have seen family and friends turning their lives around and BELIEVING in God during Caleb's time in the hospital...but they have now turned back to their old ways. I pray that they will take themselves back to that moment and be changed FOREVER! Caleb's accident has impacted Brandon and I so much (mostly spiritually)...and we have grown a lot. I was so excited when I saw all the lives that were positively changing because of Caleb's accident and was so grateful! (It showed us that their was a big reason for it) People who are the closest to us, who love Caleb so much, have turned from what they had believed back in March. I thought that those people who were closest would be changed forever! So I guess that means that no one can imagine what's going on...or how we feel everyday. They may be affected, but apparently not as much as us...And now I look back and my heart just aches. Anyone can say "Lord, if you do this, I promise I will change...or whatever!" To turn your life around is hard! And that's a sketchy promise to make. We've learned (and struggle daily) with the fact that we need to change so much more til God fulfills his promise! So I encourage you to strive for the same!
Caleb will be healed one day. I don't know when but I pray that all of you reading this and everyone you know doesn't wait till that day comes to realize God's grace and love. It might be too late...I've written early on how, if God had healed Caleb in an instant or even in a month or two...that we would never be where we are today...the people we are today...! We'd be thankful but wouldn't have had that endurance to keep on the right path. That's why this scripture encourages us. I hope it did the same for you too! We've got so much more growing to do!

Our First Christmas...

2007-12-27T01:19:00.000-08:00

Merry Belated Christmas Everyone!!!
I had been wanting to avoid this season, as horrible as that sounds...Our first Christmas since Caleb's accident. Memories of last Christmas filled my mind. Shopping made me want to cry as I looked at all the toys that Caleb would just enjoy so much being a normal four year old boy. I wanted to buy the whole store for him. Material things don't matter to me...but it still brought me feelings of depression. As we filed into the malls filled with people, stares bombared us everywhere we went. I was appaled that so many adults would be so rude and stare so much with no care in the world. One woman walked into someone else because she was staring so much! The people drove me away from wanting to take Caleb anywhere with a huge crowd. I was warned about that but didn't experience it until just these last two weeks. I wanted this Christmas to be "normal" meaning that I wanted to do everything that we do every year. But in a differnt spirit...with much more gratitude to Jesus.
Patrick (our nurse) and I took the boys to see the Christmas lights and we took them on the train ride (which Caleb fell asleep on towards the end). We took our family picture...Christmas Eve was spent at home with my family and Christmas day was spent with Brandon's family. It was as normal as usual.
We had bought Micaiah a pretty big gift and wanted to buy something for Caleb too but didn't know what to get him. We want to order him a bunch of stuff from a new catalog we got but it most definitely wouldn't have been here by Christmas. Anyhow, I was really emotional the night before the eve as I was driving home. I was thinking about how horrible it was that we didn't get anything "big" for Caleb. I started crying and praying to God. I knew that Caleb didn't want any (material) gift in the world. All he wants is to be able to be normal again...to walk and talk...and do what all 4 year old boys do. Anyways, I prayed that God would give him his gift...at least a little bit of it on Christmas. Well after Christmas came and went and I didn't see anything really big happening and I was discouraged...But then it was as if God spoke to me as I laid down last night...He gave us his son Jesus on Christmas! That's what we celebrate! He gave Caleb Jesus! My prayers were answered as I drifted off to sleep, I remembered that Jesus is healing Caleb...everyday! I gotta keep on watching...God's working in him! Oh, and for the present that didn't really matter anyways...we ended up finding something for him at Sharper Image on Christmas Eve that he absolutely loves! Score!
I'm sorry that I haven't blogged in so long. My computer is out of commission. I'm using my brother's one right now but I wanted to post a picture up. I can't because it's saved on my computer. So sorry but I will put it up later.
I think Brandon was having a difficult time emotionally. I would of probably been even more of a wreck if I wasn't so busy. Busy-ness keeps me away from my emotions...which can be good at times.
Micaiah is such a great little brother! On Christmas day Caleb was in his stander and as usual his head started going forward. My mom had looked away for a second and was looking at Micaiah. Micaiah took his pacifier out of his mouth, pointed at Caleb, and said "baba!" He was trying to get my mom's attention towards Caleb...and it worked! Tonight as we were doing physical therapy with Caleb, Micaiah went and grabbed Caleb's cloth which was hard for him to get as it was quite high for him. He finally got it and came over and wiped his brother's mouth. (Caleb often blows bubbles from his mouth) It was so cute...I wish I took a picture!
Caleb has been doing great with using a switch at therapy and got one of his own from one of his nurse's for Christmas! With a bunch of cool toys that he loves! I'm getting used to the crazyness of being a mother...like this. I definitely never thought I'd be doing this at my age. But it's all for a reason...and I'll keep fighting. I don't know how people do it with more kids...like Tiffany, Abbies mom, and Sue, Luke's mom. They are awesome mothers! They're my idols! And I want to have more kids...maybe when Micaiah's five though....and by then Caleb will be completely healed! Thank you Lord!
The chiropractor appointments has been going well. To me, it seems like Caleb has been moving his head a lot more lately!!! And it's been really helping me and my bad back with all the carrying of Caleb that I've been doing!
Brandon has been feeling sick lately and I started to feel a little ill. (Just took Air Borne) Please pray that none of us will get sick...We can't afford to be sick! Also, Caleb started to wake up early in the morning again. Which means I have been getting less sleep lately. Please pray that he will sleep well throughout the night...and for all of us as well! Please continue to believe in God's miracle with us and thank him for healing Caleb everyday! God Bless you and Happy New Year too! It's gonna be a great year...Many, many blessings...you'll see.

Great and Wonderful things Happening!

2007-12-11T01:27:00.000-08:00

I forgot to mention on the last blog that Caleb had to go take a blood test to make sure that he is sufficiently getting all the nutrients and stuff he needs. His pediatrician was concerned about his diet and didn't quite agree with what we were giving him. (Not a surprise) So I took him to get a blood test and of course everything is great! Everything was perfect! Thank you Lord!
As I had mentioned, we went to "The River Church" out in Kapolei this past weekend to meet Norvel Hayes and listen to all he had to say. It was absolutely amazing! The key scriptures that Norvel Hayes was speaking on was the one from Hebrews that you see at the top of this blog...it's the scripture we had chosen when Caleb was in the ICU to be the one that "covers his case." (You can understand that better by reading his book, How to Live and Not Die) We learned a lot from his sermon and we met him, talked on the side with him for a bit, and took pictures of course! He laid hands on Caleb and prayed over him. What a great weekend it was!
Yes, a great weekend...and then there was some disappointing news today...I was extremely disappointed today when we had gone to Kapiolani Hospital for Caleb's occupational therapy and for the long awaited speech (vital stimulation) therapy. He ended up not being able to have any speech therapy. Apparently whoever put in the order for it put the "wrong code" and so he was authorized for a different type of therapy than the one we were trying to get. And medical will not pay for both. So this means that they now have to re submit an authorization and then he will need to get an evaluation and then get that authorized...I think we are looking at a few more months! It's ridiculous and I was so upset about it!
But then we went to the chiropractor that I had mentioned in the previous blog also. All four of us got adjusted. But we are excited to see all that God is going to do through the chiropractor.
I won't go into too much detail because you would be reading forever but basically, he explained that the top of Caleb's spine is pushed up into the base of his skull which cuts off much of the brain flow through the spinal cord to the nerves that go throughout his body. In adjusting this, he believes that it could help Caleb tremendously. (He taught us all about what they do, we all took x rays and then went over them and saw all the damage in Caleb's neck and base of his head. This doctor is also a Christian and when we had gone the first night to listen to a teaching on his practice he had said, "I am not the one that heals people, GOD does the healing, I move the interference to let God's healing flow through."
One of our friends from church has an amazing gift of prophesy and has told us many of his visions before about Caleb and has blown us away...also with things that God wants us to do for/with Caleb. Anyways, he had an amazing dream a couple of weeks ago but we hadn't seen him. He texted Brandon telling him he had a crazy dream and so for awhile we were anticipating to hear about it. But he held back from telling us... being a little skeptic of what he had invisioned. The day after we met the chiropractor and listened to what I mentioned above, he called Brandon and told him his dream...
In his dream he (our friend) was sitting next to God. He kept trying to look at God but of course could not. God told him to stop trying to look at him and to look down at Caleb and watch what he was going to do. As he looked down at Caleb, God put his hands through Caleb, from the top of his head down to his little toes and pulled his hands out. As God pulled his hands out, his hands were all dirty. He told him see, I make all things clean, all things new. But I have to keep doing this...I'm taking out all the INTERFERENCE...all that dirtyness is all the interference. And God continued to do that over and over. Isn't that amazing? And that God let him wait to tell us until after we heard that from the chiropractor. Because it made so much more sense to us and of course it totally blew us away and brought me to tears!
...this is my prayer for today...and Everyday!...
Jesus, I believe you are a miracle worker. Please heal Caleb Lord, and make him normal again. Thank you Lord, for making Caleb normal! Thank You Jesus! You are my all and I love you so much! Amen...
Brother Norvel taught us about Faith...knowing the answer to what you want! God can do anything. ANYTHING you can ever dream of, God can do it all! And we're not holding back on that promise. We are believing that God will give us all our hearts desires and are building our faith as each day passes. Faith is patience...we can't build our faith in one day...no one can! It takes time and patience. We're working on it...thank you for being a part of our strong foundation in supporting us in our journey with Caleb. Praise God for everything...Praise God for you!

It's not so bad...

2007-12-04T00:22:00.000-08:00

I think Caleb might be coming down with a cold. On Saturday night he had a fever and we were up with him till 3am Sunday morning. It went away quickly and came back Sunday night again...and then today. He's been needing more suctioning too. But he seems to be doing okay. It's not bad. And I don't know how he got it since no one is sick at home.
This morning before Brandon went to work he moved Caleb over on his bed and adjusted his machines so that I could lay down with Caleb. Caleb was making so many sounds all morning. I think I've mentioned that before but this was more than ever...and different tones too! I was so excited! Very tired and excited! I was waiting for him to start having a conversation with me. But it didn't happen. I wasn't so sad though because his constant sounds made me excited enough for the time being.
Things have been going pretty smoothly so far with Brandon back to work. Brandon of course is frustrated and would so much love to be at home instead. I'm adjusting to the no sleep. Coffee and energy drinks keep me alive. :) Actually, Caleb has been sleeping pretty well, minus a few nights. But all in all, I'd have to say it's been good. Micaiah is a handful...totally different than how Caleb was but he brightens up our everyday.
Good News! Caleb will finally be starting speech therapy next week! (It's about time) And his wheel chair should be coming in soon! He also got authorized to go to therapy twice a week!
Ooh, and Brandon and I got to go on a date tonight! (Much needed) We had a nurse tonight and I was able to convince my brother to watch Micaiah. (Don't think he's gonna wanna do that again for awhile)
I do have a prayer request...Caleb's ribs are starting to "pop out" a little and there's a bone that sticks out a bit. His therapists are working with it but I think prayer is what he really needs. I don't want that to become a big problem for him. So please pray that it will be normalized and not get really bad.
Tomorrow we are going to go talk with another doctor. I think he's kind of like a chiropractor...I don't know much about him or what he does. Brandon knows...someone he works with talked to him about this doctor and set up an appointment for us to meet him. So we are going to go meet with him and talk to him about Caleb. (It's not for Caleb to go just yet) But I'm interested to find out what his mission is.
Brandon and I are going to be going to visit kids at Kapiolani Hospital with our church in a couple weeks. We're excited to go there and be on the other end... to give to kids and their families love that Caleb and us received by many during his stay there.
Please do pray for us this Christmas season. We are excited for the things that are happening with Caleb and are sure that something big is coming. And we are even more excited for the new year that is soon to come and all of God's blessings that we will be seeing. Please pray for all that Caleb is yet to overcome and for the miracles that God is going to show in Caleb.
This Sunday we'll be going to a church in Kapolei. We went to this church once before and found out that they are going to be having a guest speaker this weekend: Norvel Hayes. When Caleb was in the hospital someone came to visit that we had never met. (This was within the first week of Caleb's drowning) She brought us a book titled "How to Live and Not Die" by Norvel Hayes. Brandon read the entire book quickly and was impacted by it. (For Brandon to read an entire book is amazing, since he really doesn't like to read) I read bits of it but never read the whole thing. Now I am reading it and plan to finish it before we meet him. Anyways, Brandon really wanted to write to him about Caleb and eventually wanted to meet him. So we were very excited when we heard he was coming to Hawai'i and can't wait to introduce him to Caleb!
Thank you for continuing to keep up with Caleb and his progress and of course for always keeping him and our family in your prayers! God Bless you all!

A Rainbow!!! It's God's Promise...

2007-11-28T02:13:00.000-08:00

Hey all! So sorry it's been so long. It's been busy with Micaiah's first birthday, then thanksgiving, and this week Brandon started work again.
Caleb is doing very well. He said rainbow! It didn't sound very enunciated but could it be? Brandon and I weren't there to hear it...Brandon's parents were watching Caleb and were reading him a book about rainbows. And he used his voice to say what sounded very much like rainbow! Both of his parents looked at each other in astonishment. We were very excited to hear what had happened. Brandon had just talked to Caleb that day and prayed with him about starting to speak again. Amen?...Amen! Since then we have been encouraging him even more to use his voice to make words. Today I was doing some flash cards with caleb...teaching him how to read. (Just where we left off) I would always do flash cards with Caleb everynight. He was always eager to learn. So as I asked him to tell me what letter it was and what sound the letter makes he used his voice everytime. He wasn't saying the letter or the sound but he was trying! And I was very happy and proud of him for that. Pretty soon...I know. Thank you for your prayers and please continue to pray for his speech to return!
Micaiah's birthday was wonderful and we had a great thanksgiving. We definitely had a lot to be thankful for this thanksgiving! And boy was I thanking God like crazy. We have been so blessed...beyond my wildest dreams! God has blessed us so much, especially during this season of our lives.
Brandon returned to work this past Monday. It was a day that I had been dreading...and I'm sure Brandon had too. So far Caleb has been sleeping pretty well. Brandon misses being home with the boys...and me too i think. (wink, wink) It's only been two days...Please, we really need prayers! I need to get sufficient sleep during the night. Caleb and Micaiah need to sleep well. And Brandon needs his sleep too so that he can work hard all day for us and not be too tired when he gets home.
I promise to do my best to blog more often...really. It's been a rough time for me, as you've read in the past few blogs. But I'm doing better now. I think.
I finally got things done today that I've been meaning to do. I ordered Caleb a new pulse oximeter. Just like the one they have in the PICU. We were so tired of fighting with the Supply company already. So we just purchased a brand new one...of our own...that has a better battery life for when we go out. It was really expensive but it's gonna save me a lot of headaches. We've had so many problems...I swear we have a different machine every one to two weeks! I also ordered another device that I've wanted to get for Caleb...Tiffany, Abbie's mom, introduced me to it. http://www.prayforabby.com/
Brandon and I gave our testimony again last week Wednesday to the UH Wahine Volleyball team before their game! Thank God they won...they were crying. Wouldn't want to be the reason they lost the game. :) It was great. But as usual, we were getting attacked all day long before we spoke to them. Starting from the Sunday before, Caleb got a fever that went all the way up to 105 at one point. He had the fever for a few days and it averaged at about 102. But other than that he was okay. By wednesday (when we gave our testimony) he was almost completely well again. The same thing happened when we gave our testimony the first time at our church. Silly devil, does he think that's gonna stop us? God wants us to do it, so he's gonna make it possible! No matter what! I guess Satan never learns...
Well, I will be having a meeting with the public school again in a couple weeks to discuss getting some services at home since we have decided to completely not take Caleb to school anymore. Pray something comes out of that.
One more thing, to Brice's Aunty: thank you so much for your comment. It really touched us. And just as you complemented us, you all were a blessing for us too despite what you went through. Thank you also for being so kind...and for even coming back to visit when Caleb moved to the regular unit of the hospital! We will always remember you all. And Wyatt...does he miss Callie? :) Thank you for continuing to keep Caleb in your prayers!
Sue: Thank you for always uplifting me with your comments! You are an amazing mother and it's always nice to hear from someone who is living it... What a blessing you are!

Thank you all for your continued prayers. God continues to answer them all! And we are eternally grateful! Hope your thanksgiving was wonderful as you reflected on God's wonderful blessings in your lives! I was especially grateful for all of you...even those of you I have never met! You are still a blessing...your prayers are a tremendous blessing! I'll update again when big news arrives! Which I am anticipating to be very very soon!... "pray for Caleb"

2007-11-13T03:43:00.000-08:00

My emotions have been taking me on a rollercoaster... It's easy for me to recognize now all the signs of my emotional downs. It's been affecting me more though lately and I've discovered why. Micaiah will be a year old in a few days. While it should be a very happy moment for me, a part of me just cries and cries. It's been a year since Micaiah was born...I remember when I was pregnant with him...Caleb waiting for his little brother to come out of mommy's tummy so he could play with him...kissing my tummy all the time and talking to Micaiah before he was even born. When we brought him home from the hospital, Caleb was so loving to him...always kissing him, singing to him, wanting to hold him. Micaiah was still too little to play with but he showed him his love. And now the tables are turned. Caleb can't really play with Micaiah but Micaiah is always kissing him, rubbing his arm, showing love for his big brother. It's been a year...and I haven't been able to see my boys play together. I know it is a blessing to have what I do. I am very grateful for that. But what I had invisioned is not what is happening. I just want that more than anything!
Well, while my emotional rollercoaster has been forever going, I have been praying even more and God has been revealing a lot to me these past few days. He has been really checking my heart...we've definitely had many awesome conversations.
Brandon will be going back to work next week. I really wish that wouldn't have to happen but that time is here. It's going to be very very hectic. I don't even want to start thinking about it. Please pray for us during this transition. Pray that Caleb will also sleep very very well during the night so that I will not go insane and will be able to function properly to watch Micaiah all day and do whatever needs to be done. Caleb continues to show how strong he is with more head movements and continues to grunt. Pray for words. His nurse took him swimming again last week and said he turned his head and was looking at something. (it was his angels i think)
Caleb is doing very well with the lowering of his seizure medication. Thank you for your prayers and for continuing to pray for his stability as we continue to lower it until he is off. God is so faithful when we trust that he is in control.
Anyways, I am falling asleep as I write so I will blog again soon! bLESSINGS...RI

LifeChanged!

2007-11-06T00:39:00.000-08:00

Things have been "quiet" at our house lately. I ended up catching the cold but Brandon got over his in a day. (thanks for the prayers). Micaiah is better and Caleb hasn't caught anything. Please continue to pray that he doesn't catch a cold. Being a mom, I never have time to get good sleep to recover fast so my colds last forever. Please pray that I will get better quickly...I need to feel 100%...there is so much to do!
Brandon and I had a long weekend as we ended a course we were taking at church called Life Change. It was 12 weeks long and we certainly learned a lot. I know I learned a lot and it has really changed my life...my own personal issues. We are so blessed to have people watch our boys while we do things like this. My always helpful mom watched Caleb when we couldn't get nursing and my most wonderful shepherd/mentor, Phyllis, (from Women in the Word) ...and her kids..watched Micaiah. We are most certainly blessed through it all! I began to rethink about everyone we've met...people who have made such a difference in our journey with Caleb...and I am just so grateful for everyone that God has placed in our lives at every precise moment. We continually meet more and more wonderful people and continue to be blessed by everyone! God is so awesome. He knows what/who we need and at the exact moment that is needed.
I think I started to replay everyone in my mind today as I became a little frustrated speaking with people that I have to in order to get things Caleb needs. i.e. medication, supplies...etc. I was telling Brandon that everyone is so rude, so grouchy...I was complaining a lot and asking why everyone needs to give us a hard time when they know whats going on?!. But then I began to think about it and remembering all the people that have been a light in our lives...all of you and I thought, "I bet I seem to be just as grouchy and a pain at times just as they seem to be but yet still people reach out and shine their kindness." So I got a heart check...and I know I gotta do the same...the thing is that we never know what another person is going through in their lives or maybe even in that particular day. And even if the words they speak or the way they speak bring us down we should let it pass right through and just love on them! It might make a difference in their lives! I know it sure did for me!
I hope you enjoy the picture I posted of Caleb's sweet kisses that I miss so much! What memoreis of my little sweetheart! Can't wait till he starts kissing me like that again...that night of the picture he didn't want to stop kissing me and was in my arms majority of the night. I'm never letting him go again...never taking a moment like that for granted! I'm so happy that I have those sweet memories with Caleb but I'm not holding on to them to tightly because I know there will be so much more to come!
Caleb has continued to use his voice with grunts and sighs here and there. I never thought I'd love to hear anyone grunt and sigh. But I do love it! It's been nine months exactly since Caleb's drowning. I can't believe it's been nine months! Caleb has done so awesome...he's come such a long way! Imagine how much more is to come! All of our lives has been changed forever but this past few months have been the most life changing! All thanks and praise to the Lord our God!
Blessings!

Tears of the Past, But smiles for the hope of the future

2007-11-02T00:20:00.000-07:00

Caleb has been doing great with the lowering of his seizure medication. There's been no complications. Please continue to pray that there will be no seizures though! Caleb has been making more and more sounds this past week. Praise God! No, it is not because of the lowering his medication...it's ALL GOD! The first time that we heard him a lot was that night when a friend came over to pray over and lay hands on Caleb. And he's been making more and more sounds since. We continue to pray over Caleb and consistently encourage him to speak...using words. As I held him in my lap tonight before he went to sleep, I kept telling him how much I want to hear him speak again. I read him stories...his favorites...the ones we used to read over and over again. He knew all the words and knew when to say it on each page. So we would read it together and take turns going through the books. I started to cry as I read one of them. I told him how much I want him to read it along with me...or read it to me again. Sometimes I try to imagine his sweet voice and his silly personality...but it's beginning to become a faint memory. And that makes me so sad! His voice is becoming so faint in my mind. I can't listen to our favorite songs in the car because he's not singing it with me...and I can't read him our favorite books because I become such a wreck. I just journaled all that I've been feeling as a prayer to God. I told him all of this and more...I know that all of this will come about again. I'm working on my faith and I'm growing everyday. But it was a hard night for me...
Last night we went to another prayer and healing service at our church! It is always such a blessing for Caleb...as well as us. Micaiah is sick again. He's getting better but please pray that he will heal quickly and that Caleb will not catch his cold...or any other colds during this season of colds going around. Brandon is also getting sick so please pray for him too.
Micaiah is going to be turning one this month! Time sure does fly by! I want to see my boys playing together...that's what I want this Christmas....that's what they want for Christmas too I'm sure.
Caleb is so special, God is going to use him mightily...he is everyday and will continue to use him even more. I'm so blessed to have him as my son...I am honored to be his mother...I am honored that God chose me to care for him and watch over him. I'm so proud of him and all that he does. I'm proud of him for always being so brave and for never giving up...for continue to fight this fight. I tell him everyday how proud I am of him and I tell him everyday to keep fighting and asking Jesus to help him...and that we will always be with him, fighting and seeking Jesus.
Other than my downer thoughts and feelings tonight, things are terrific! Brandon and I are doing wonderful and Caleb continues to stride! Thank you for your continued prayers for Caleb and our family! They make such a difference! May you be blessed too!

New things, Great things!

2007-10-26T02:09:00.000-07:00

Aloha everyone! So sorry that I haven't been keeping up on the blog. I know you're all wanting to know what's new! There's a lot and I'll try my best to remember all that I wanted to share:

We recently took Caleb to his new neurologist and was very pleased. The new doctor is very informative and gives us pros and cons of everything, gives us his opinion, but ultimately leaves decisions up to us. So with no hesitation we have decided to start lowering Caleb's phenobarbital medication which is a seizure medication. (He hasn't had a seizure since the first couple of weeks from the date of his accident.) The cons for lowering it is of course risking that he may have a seizure which would of course not be good. But we are trusting that the Lord is watching over him and that it WILL NOT happen. Please stand in faith with us and pray that there will be no seizure activity EVER!

Caleb had his first try in the hyperbaric chamber at Abby's house last week. He did really well and was able to tolerate the entire hour in there! He just cruised in there looking around and we could see him and talk to him through a little glass window. We are so grateful for Abby and her family. I can't imagine going through this without them.

Caleb continues to amaze me on his reaction to doing things when asked. He's so awesome! Brandon and I have been continuing to make memories with the kids...often times at the park. We also took the boys to Sea Life Park last Saturday and had a wonderful day with them. I'm beginning to look at no nursing days as a blessing in disguise. When nursing doesn't plan out how I've requested it and my mom is unavailable, I can look at it as, God's way of telling us to have some quality time with Caleb. It fills me up to just have family time at the park.

Today Caleb went for a half dip in the pool for the first time since the accident. Patrick (Caleb's nurse) took him in after they had been hanging out and reading in the sun. Brandon was there with them also. We were surprisingly totally fine with it all. No crying, no horrible thoughts. All was good and Caleb kept lifting his foot out of the water when he was told to. So I think Patrick might be taking him for a dip in the pool whenever he is here...and that is totally okay with us.

Last week thursday, a friend of ours from church came over to pray over Caleb and lay hands on him. He has an amazing gift of prayer and healing. Caleb's reaction while he was prayed over was phenomenal! There is no way to describe his reactions the entire time...continuously! He was so excited...his tongue was going in and out of his mouth and Caleb grunted continuously, (yes, we heard his voice! no words but it was sound which was music to our ears) as he prayed for Caleb's speech to return. Right after he was done praying, Caleb instantly fell into a deep sleep and was out for the night. We must continue to pray over Caleb and laying hands on him every day. That's our duty.

In devotions we've been reading the book of Job. And what a testimony it is to help us through this! Here's one of my prayers from my devotions a week ago:
Lord Jesus,
Thank you for all that you have given me. Thank you Lord for being all that you are. I give all my praise and glory to you! My life is for you Lord, and only you! Thank you for permitting Satan to test us through this trial. He has been hard at work but we've fooled him many times. Thank you for this test...it has only brought me closer to you. Thank you Lord for your love and power over it all. I will praise you in this storm and any more that may come because I know now that life without you is nothing and I can't live without you. I know that I wil suffer as a believer but what does that matter? It's only for a little while compared to an eternity with you! I love you so much and can't wait to be with you in heaven! Amen.

Well, I know there is much more that I left out and it will come to me as I lay down to sleep. So I promise that I will post another blog very, very, soon! Thank you for continuing to pray for Caleb and us! We love and appreciate every single one of you! God Bless!

Learning to be Content...

2007-10-11T03:49:00.000-07:00

Contentment...that's something that's really been on our hearts this past week or so. We've had many wonderful conversations about a bunch of different things. Learning to be content or thanking God for everything is something we've really been working on. It's so easy to say the things we will do with Caleb when he's all healed but God's been saying, Why not do it now? We can do a lot of things with him although it takes much more effort. But we are learning to be grateful for everything but especially for the wonderful gift of Caleb's life. We have started to and will continue to spend more time with just the four of us... actually spending quality time...going places and not just staying home. We've got to make more memories..for us, and for the boys. So nursing is changing for us during the week so we can do that. Especially since Brandon will be going back to work again soon. That's really gonna be tough for me when he does.
On Tuesday we took the boys for a walk to the park. We went to the playground and Brandon took Caleb down the slide quite a few times. Caleb had a lot of fun. Micaiah went crazy running around, climbing, and sliding. What a great time we had together! We will definitely be doing that more often.
Today we took them to Kahala Mall just to cruise around. But Caleb got to meet Abby for the first time today! She was at the mall with her nurse too! Caleb always loved going to the mall. He always wanted to go there to get Icee and popcorn and pizza. And look around at the toy store. Anyways, I hadn't taken him into the candy store since before the accident. A place he absolutely loved...well, today we took him in to get a balloon and he was just staring at all the candies. His eyes got bigger and his eyebrows raised. He really wanted some. I assured him I would take him there to get whatever he wants when he starts eating with his mouth again and swallowing. What an incentive...I think we'll take him there more often to encourage him.
Although we are leaning about contentment, we are not getting comfortable at being in this stage or seeing Caleb where he is right now. He's going to keep improving everyday. So what I mean by being content is being thankful for everything we have at the moment or for where Caleb is at that moment and always remembering how much God has blessed us. There is always room for improvement in our lives...for growth in everything, especially in our relationship with God, and of course in Caleb's healing process.
Tomorrow, Caleb has an appointment with his ENT (ear, nose, throat) Specialist. He is seeing this doctor to monitor his trach. So please pray for Caleb. Pray that he will be able to remove it very very soon and that he will do very well in the process of getting to that point to remove it and as well as after. And of course please continue to pray for Caleb's complete healing! Thank you for being a blessing in our lives as well as Caleb's! God Bless...

One Praise after another!

2007-10-01T19:41:00.000-07:00

Brandon and I spent this past weekend on a retreat with Pursuit (Young Adults Ministry @ New Hope) and had a great time! It was so awesome to get away from the world and focus completely on God! What an awesome feeling and time we got to share with HIM who has blessed us so much! I missed the boys so much though...and we were only gone for 48 hours. Caleb looked great when we came back home! I don't know if he looked better or if it was just so refreshing for me to see his face again. But I was delighted to spend some time with him. We took him to his friends birthday party and he got to see all his buddies from school! How fun!
Last Friday @ therapy, Caleb got to go on the swing. He played with the ball...kicking it and then hitting it with his hand. He had lots of fun. Anyways, the biggest news was that he was kicking!!! Small kicks, yes but he was purposely trying to kick the ball! His therapists said that it was voluntary movement and not tone! You could really tell anyways. We were all very excited! Praise God...
I was feeling a little like I was neglecting Caleb lately. Not spending quality time with him. So last thursday I took him for a walk...just the two of us. We went to the park (like how we used to) and just hung out. I took him out of the stroller and put him on my lap and we just spent some time with one another for about an hour. It felt so good to just have him in my arms and for us to be alone at a place where I loved to take him to play. I had a few tears in the beginning but all in all I had a wonderful time spent with him. So I'm going to make it a priority to do something like that regularly. It's hard to spend time with him and feel like I've spent our time well...connecting...feeling that connection. I'm so glad I found that on thursday. We had a nurse over @ that time too. But I just took him and our nurse watched Micaiah instead. :)
Blessings are rolling in one after another and it keeps me excited for more to come! ALL praise to our Lord for ALL that Caleb has overcome...for ALL his improvements! Please continue to keep us in prayer that we may continue to see HIS blessings pouring out daily! We'd love for Caleb to start walking, talking, and eating normally again VERY SOON! It's gonna happen, yes, in the very near future! Thank you for standing in faith with us for all that is to come!
Here's some NEW PICTURES for you to enjoy!
http://www.slide.com/r/wNhRFxTHnT9NjPBfAZc8c_AN6ocTGo80?previous_view=mscd_embedded_url&view=original

Birthday Praises!

2007-09-24T02:45:00.001-07:00

Praise God for Saturday! The most wonderful thing happened...While we were singing happy birthday to Caleb at his party this past saturday, it was really windy so Jesus was blowing out Caleb's candles. However, there was one that kept going. I put it up to Caleb and we told him to blow it out. AND HE DID! I can't explain it in words but all I can say is...IT WAS AMAZING! We got it on video...you can't fully tell on the video though but everyone was amazed by it! Thank you Jesus! What a miracle! Caleb had a great party and we enjoyed ourselves as well. Thank you to all who were able to make it to celebrate this very special birthday with Caleb and us. (Sorry it was such a short notice) Thank you for all your prayers for his birthday and for his party... Gosh, prayer is powerful! We knew that already but God just continues to show us his grace through the answering of prayers everyday!
This week has been so amazing....God is doing GREAT things in Caleb's lives as well as ours and we are totally stoked. I'm so hyped up...I can't wait for that complete healing! I finally was able to come to a point tonight where I could praise God for all the struggles that we are going through and to thank Him for choosing us to endure the trials. (People always told us that we are in a way "lucky" or special that God chose us to go through this) I never could come to terms with it but I kind of understood what they were saying. But tonight I was able to REALLY thank God for placing such a huge obstacle in our lives. He really wants us to live an eternity with him and I'm so glad that he has brought us to where we are today. If this hadn't happened, we probably would have been stuck in that same place and wouldn't have been able to feel the wholeness that we now have because of our relationship with Christ today. We're still growing and I'm so excited about where God is leading us!
YES things are awesome right now! But please continue to keep us in prayer very heavily because when things are going so good, the enemy hates it and attacks us like a mad man. And we don't want to get too "comfortable." We must always stay in prayer...especially when everything is so great! Amen, Amen...thank you Jesus! and thank you all for all your love and prayers! We are truly very blessed!

Happy 4th Birthday Caleb!!!

2007-09-21T11:48:00.000-07:00

...and a happy birthday it was! The morning started off with praises for our mighty God! I prayed and prayed and thanked God for that day. How blessed are we to have the chance to celebrate Caleb's fourth birthday! Thank you Lord! Then there were many birthday wishes and kisses. Patrick (one of our great nurses) came in to help us celebrate the day. First stop...Kaimuki Christian! (Caleb's school) As soon as we arrived you could see his excitement as we brought him out. All his old friends from last year who are now separated into two classes gathered in his old classroom, along with the principal and his old teachers. They all were excited to see him as well. They sang happy birthday to him, had some cake, gave him some gifts and cards and took pictures with him. What a great way to start off the day!....for all of us! We had such a wonderful time seeing our KCS ohana and all of Caleb's little friends.
After we went to the zoo. Nothing really special but that was the first time we took him there since his accident. We didn't have anything planned for the day after the visit at KCS, we just kinda went with the flow. I was trying so hard to plan something that would be great for him but was stressing out about what exactly to do so I decided not to plan. Caleb was probably just happy to spend the day together somewhere else other than the hospital and home. It was nice.
Then last night some family and friends came over to help us celebrate Caleb's birthday and sing to him. We were trying so hard to keep him up before everyone came so we could all sing happy birthday but he was so tired and fell asleep just before the last guests arrived. But that was alright because we sang happy birthday to him many times as he tried to fall asleep and his cousins helped him open all his presents.
I contained myself the entire time! No crying...woohoo! If I cried it would have hopefully been tears of joy. However, when we were at the zoo, images continued to flash through my head of times I spent there with Caleb. I remember the last time I took him there when I was pregnant with Micaiah. We got to spend time alone together and had a nice little picnic on the grass. I remember his rascalness and his non stop talking...oh, i miss that little portagee mouth! But still no tears! I just prayed and prayed and continued to praise God for that day! I'm gonna get many more memories to make with him...Wait, I AM making memories with him! :) Praise God!
Thank you to all of you who helped make Caleb's day special... We love you all so very much! It was another glimpse for us to see how blessed we are through it all! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts! We couldn't have asked for a better day!
And to top off Caleb's wonderful birthday...as I came online to do this blog, New Hope's website came up as always but at the top there was our picture and with the caption it said Happy 4th Birthday Caleb! (Then there's the whole story when you click on it) How sweet! Thank you New Hope...we love you! So that put the icing on Caleb's cake! (and mines too)
Saturday is Caleb's party...everyone is invited to help us celebrate! I know it's kinda late but it will be from 11am-4pm. For more information contact any family member you know or email me at prayforcaleb@yahoo.com and I will email you the information tonight. God Bless you and thank you so much for your prayers!

Great Strides

2007-09-13T04:12:00.000-07:00

Aloha everyone! I know it's been so long since I last blogged. I'm sorry...we hit another bump in the road. But God is always there and he shows me so much everytime I think I'm going to lose it. Last week Caleb had speech therapy at the hospital for the first time. He did soooooo good! He was using the switch on command and trying so hard. I wish I had a video camera so I could show you all! His speech therapist was again so amazed by what he could do and I was very encouraged. Micaiah was so cute too...he was clapping for his big brother. Everytime Caleb would hit the switch and make the toy go, we would all chant, "yeah!" and Micaiah would clap with a big smile on his face.
We took Caleb to a prayer and healing service on Friday at our church...we all needed it and it was a great refresher for all of us. Then we took him to school on Monday to ride the car and get in a little therapy. We got there really late because Caleb woke up late since he was up all night and then fell asleep around 6am. So we didn't get to stay long but at least he got to ride the car. We are seriously looking in to buying him one.
Life has been really exciting for me with Caleb's great strides as well as Micaiah's. Micaiah is walking really well now so it's a little more hectic but I just love to observe him in everything he does. I wouldn't be able to go through all of this without him. Micaiah's speech therapist was very impressed with him today. She says he is age appropriate and doing a lot more than babies at his age too. Thank you Lord for coming through and showing us that you are in control with everything! Micaiah is perfectly normal...there were questionable things with his development when he was born but with prayer and trust in God, Micaiah is perfect in every way.
Abby's mom, Tiffany, (www.prayforabby.com) came over to visit Caleb on Tuesday. She tested his voltage and discussed with me about making Caleb's formula. What is voltage? Well, we all have voltage and our bodies need it in order to heal. I honestly don't know much about it so I wouldn't want to try and explain it all but if you are interested you can read up a little more at tennantinstitute.com .....So anyways, when Tiffany tested Caleb's voltage, it was at 22! For a normal person it is anywhere from 22 to 32. I was extremely encouraged and so very proud of my little boy.
Well, he's not so little anymore! He's grown so much! Caleb will be turning 4 in a week! Yes, next week thursday, September 20th is his birthday! Party planning has been a real task for me and of course so last minute. It was so hard for me because I didn't know what to do! I mean, how do I plan a party for him...what are we supposed to do? Well, I figured as long as we have a bunch of people to celebrate with us that would be special enough and Caleb would be happy just for everyone to sing happy birthday! We're having his party at the beach...kind of ironic I guess but we have overcome the whole idea of him in the water...(well, at least the ocean) I remind him everyday that his birthday is coming up but of course he knows that and he's excited. We will be taking him to his school on his birthday (Kaimuki Christian, I mean) so he can visit all his friends and teachers. He's gonna be so happy! He doesn't know we are going there though. I told him it's a surprise. :) Then we're gonna take him out somewhere else but I'm not so sure yet on where we will be going. Please pray for us on Caleb's birthday. I'm anticipating it may be a hard time for me and I've been praying about it. Please pray that I will be able to contain myself and enjoy the day with Caleb rather than being sad and replaying his last birthday in my mind. I'm going to be in the same place with him as I was last year. Oh God, help me...I'm already crying! I know it will be hard for me but I want to do this for Caleb. I know that he really misses his school and all his friends and teachers and I really want to be able to do this for him and be happy for him.
Caleb has seemed to be way more alert lately. His tracking is awesome. Tonight he was looking at Micaiah and just watching him. Micaiah kept putting his head on his and Caleb kept making faces at him. It was a kodak moment and I so missed it. But at least I got it in my mind and my heart. Caleb's cousin Callie came over for awhile too and Caleb just loved it as usual. Callie is so great with him and just shows her love for him. He loves her too...he loves when she stays at his side and talks to him and does things with him. She always calls him "buddy" when she talks to him. (That's something I just noticed tonight.)
Tomorrow (thursday 9/13) we will be starting Caleb's homemade formula that I learned about from Tiffany. I am going to start it at his noon feeding since I won't be home for his morning feeding. So while you're eating your lunch please pray for Caleb. Pray that he will be able to digest it just fine and will have no complications with this formula. It's so much better for him and I really want it to go well and work well for him. Thank you! We really appreciate all your prayers! God Bless...

To Tiffany: Thank you so much for all that you have done and continue to do for us. You are one of our angels! As you write about people that are like angels in your walk with Abby, so are you in our walk with Caleb. I'm so blessed that God has placed you in our lives as well as Abby to show us hope when there often seems to be none. We're blessed to have someone we can relate to. Thank you Lord for Abby, Tiffany, Ray, and their family. You really did plan every little thing out for us. You knew the things and people we would need to get through this milestone of our lives! Lord, you really are awesome!

Please pray for Abby and her family as they are going through some tough times right now. You can read their prayer requests at their website. Thank you...

A glimpse of CALEB

2007-08-31T03:09:00.000-07:00

Well, not much happened this week...Caleb caught a cold. So we didn't take him to school again. It's not so bad. There was a few restless nights but God's healing him quickly. He slept all night last night and the night before. We've just been hanging out at home and going for short walks. Our Jogging Stroller which we use to take Caleb for walks in was out of commission for 24hours. One of the tires had a leak. But it's back and running again!
I feel like I've got so much to do. I don't know why but it seems like there is so much that needs to be done. I think because I'm taking it easy and not doing it all at once. Well, I started rounding up the ingredients to make Caleb's formula. I ordered the raw milk which will arrive tomorrow. We had to go buy an extra refrigerator/freezer to store the frozen milk. Please pray that all goes well with Caleb's new diet when we do start it. Please pray that he will have no bad side effects and that he will be able to digest it well and improve on it.
Today our only male nurse (haha!) came to watch Caleb. Caleb absolutely loves Patrick (H.P.D.). It seems that he is always so reactive with him. I was observing them for awhile when they were coloring. (Keep in mind when reading that it's not like Caleb was fully doing this like a "normal" kid) Caleb kept coloring the table top and Patrick kept telling him not to do that. He was absolutely very expressive towards the "scolding." And then Patrick told him he was taking his crayon and he squeezed it tighter. Then when he did take it away, Caleb gave him a very stink look and grunted. That was the highlight of the day! I saw Caleb's personality! That is so him...his reaction...his facial expressions! Ahhh! Thank you Lord! Patrick is Caleb's new buddy. Well, I guess not that new...but the newest one for sure! Caleb is always looking right at him...and Patrick is always so attentive to him and always carrying him...just loving him. We love you Patrick! :) You just need to see Caleb with him for yourself to fully understand my excitement. Really.
WooHoo! Great news! I've got some pictures up! Downfall is...there is no new ones. But there's a bunch of old ones and there is also some of Micaiah for those of you who haven't met our little smiley guy. Enjoy until the next batch!...I'm still gathering all the new ones but check this out anyway and enjoy! http://www.slide.com/r/iBbcMnyb6z_o_VixOIrLA8tkAGKR6oXr?previous_view=mscd_embedded_url&view=original

God Bless and Please pray that Caleb will continue to recover from his cold and be better in no time...

i really do LOVE my LIFE!

2007-08-24T03:06:00.000-07:00

Yeah! A blog two times this week! I'm on a roll...
Today we only had a nurse till noon but she got a lot of things done. (Thanks Laurie!) It definitely helped us out and I guess it was good too because we spent some more family time! Brandon and I took the boys to the aquarium today. They both love it there. It was really great spending time with just the four of us again. Later on I had to tackle watching the boys by myself because Brandon had a class to go to for work and everyone else went out. Well, my brother helped me with Micaiah. But I took the boys out for a walk...I've never went for a walk with just me and them. It was really nice and I enjoyed spending mommy/sons time together. They behaved well for me. And luckily Micaiah fell asleep on the walk so I was able to devote one on one time with Caleb when we got back home. I've just realized that I am at a different place now with the way I see taking care of Caleb. My spirit about it is different. I love just reading to him and talking to him. Although I still really wish he would talk back to me...I'm still praying for that. God will answer...I know.
This past saturday, there was a fundraiser held in Wahiawa for Caleb which was organized by Renee Kamisugi. It was very successful and we enjoyed cruizing there! We brought home a lot of toys for both the boys. Thank you Renee and family, Jen, Brandon's family, all who donated things, and all who came out to support Caleb! And thank you Sir Patrick for coming to help us out with Caleb. The entire day was another glimpse at how blessed we are!
Brandon and I have decided to have a little ritual with the boys. We want to take the boys on walks on a daily basis to the library and stay there and read them books. (But I got to find out the hours and days they are open first) But we hope to be able to do that regularly as a family time thing. Plus we'll do other things too...like, we want to take them to the zoo and to the childrens discovery center, and whatever else there is for kids to do on this island. We're going to be going to the waterpark next weekend!
I'm also going to start making Caleb's formula myself. I'm still rounding up the ingredients but I hope to start him on it within less thank two weeks. Abbie's mom (www.prayforabby.com) blesses us so much and she is the one who gave us the recipe for what she makes for Abby. We are truly blessed to have them in our lives!
I hope you like the new pictures I posted! I've got a lot more to post but I'm trying to figure out another good site that I can link you to so you can view a lot of pictures.
I know I said it in the last blog but life is really good right now. It may be hard to imagine how life can be good right now. All I can say is...Our God is AWESOME! I think both Brandon and I see many things in a different way now and we are just in such a better place. We are growing deeper and deeper in our relationship with Christ everyday and staying focused in his Word. I really can say that I love my life. Don't get me wrong...we've still got a LONG more ways to go and a lot more to learn but we've come a long way so far. There are still little bumps but we are so much more equipped now to deal with anything that comes our way!
Well, I've got to go and get some sleep now...please continue to pray that Caleb will sleep through the night (preferably till 7am). He did good last night and slept till 7 this morning. Thank you Lord! And pray that he will smile big and speak soon and whatever else God puts on your heart! Most of all for his complete healing! Thank you and God Bless!

Life is Good...really.

2007-08-22T22:43:00.000-07:00

First I'd like to apologize for my last blog. Brandon and I were pretty upset as I'm sure you could tell by what someone said. I wanted to delete it but we felt that people might be wondering the same things...plus, I am human...I do act in ways I wish I didn't. I think we should have cooled off a bit more before writing about it. But anyways...

Caleb is doing great. We thought he might have been coming down with a cold or something so we didn't take him to school this week. I think he was a little bummed that he didn't get to ride the car. But he is doing fine. Thank you Lord! Caleb has been doing a little better with sleeping. He is waking up in the middle of the night but at least he goes back to sleep. Brandon and I slept with him on the futon last night and he fell back asleep after a couple of hours with his head resting on my shoulder. Brandon and I are figuring out what works best for our "care schedule" for him. By the way, the message at church this Sunday was totally for us! If you missed it, check it out at www.enewhope.org
I so need to get on the ball with things I want to do for Caleb like ordering things online, getting things to make my own formula for him, and calling doctors so we can get his meds hopefully lowered. I know I mentioned before that we were going to do it on our own but we've decided not to and will talk to the doctors first. But please continue to pray that he will be able to come off ALL of his medications very soon. Please also continue to pray that he will show us his great big smile very soon!
We would like to thank all the people who play such a big part in our walk with God right now. There are so many people who have been helping us out in so many ways! Just a kind word is helpful! So thank you so much! Brandon and I are doing good now. We are in a much better place now then we have been in a long time. We just have to focus on what God wants from us and keep obeying all the things he is telling us everyday. Sometimes we miss it but we always recognize it later and realize where we went wrong and what God was trying to tell us so that the next time we are more aware.
I had a crying fit the other night. I'm trying to tackle all the cleaning that needs to be done. But everytime I do I find something of Caleb's like his drawings or old school work or pictures of him and it still affects me. So when Caleb woke up the other night I just cried and cried for the whole two hours he was up. I miss the way he was so much. I thought I was over the whole crying about it but then it came up again. And now I don't want to finish cleaning...It's hard to explain to those of you who didn't know Caleb before...or who haven't even met him yet. But he is really such a loving boy. He would tell me he loves me everyday and everyday when I dropped him off at school he wouldn't go in his class until he gave me a big kiss and hug and told me he loved me. And that's not even the biggest thing. He just had the brightest spirit and was so easy to fall in love with. (still is) I think the biggest challenge is not being able to converse with him. I was telling Caleb during my crying fit that when God completely heals him, I am going to be so selfish of him for a long time. I'm not going to want to send him to school or let anyone near him. I want him all to myself! I know that's selfish of me. But seriously, I might. Brandon said the same thing too. But don't worry, we will eventually share him. :) God is doing divine work in Caleb...he is going to miraculously heal him and I am so anxious...Not only because I miss him so much but because so many will be saved! Especially all our loved ones that still aren't. And I think that's the biggest prize. So I guess our biggest prayer request is for God's complete healing in Caleb. (As I'm sure you are all still praying for)
Tonight we had a family walk...I love those a lot. Just Brandon, Me, and the boys. It gives Brandon and I a chance to talk about a lot of things too. All in all, life is great right now. It's as great as it can be at this moment of our lives. Our biggest challenge everyday is to look beyond our circumstances (where Caleb is at). And to look towards the future...towards the day when Caleb will be all better. Anyways...I couldn't ask for more right now then continued prayers! Praise God! Thank you all so much for them! Prayers are really powerful! God Bless!

If anyone was wondering...

2007-08-14T18:39:00.000-07:00

If anyone was wondering (because we've had some people say things...)
1. When is Brandon going back to work?
Brandon has been very fortunate to have this time off until the end of the year. We were having a lot of problems before and Satan was trying to tear our marriage apart but we came back together and we are going in the right direction now. We are still learning as we go along but we've learned a lot about ourselves and each other. I am so thankful that Brandon gets this time off. It gives us more time (not much but more than we would have) to focus on Our family. (Our kids and each other) We get to have the privilege of taking Caleb to school together and spending that time with him there. Taking him to therapy together...taking Caleb on outings like we did when we went to the beach. And also spending some QT with Micaiah. We HAVE to remember to devote some "Only" time for Micaiah. Plus we are involving ourselves in church now and changing our lives through Christ. Brandon was and still is going through his own emotions. I have a hard time understanding how he feels so NO ONE can begin to even imagine how he feels. And me trying to explain everything is personal anyways. Try to start from the beginning...How would you feel if you were in his shoes and the same thing happened to your son? There is no saying "well that would have never happened." You NEVER know what will happen. Only God knows that and only a fool would say such a thing. So anyways if you may be thinking Brandon SHOULD go back to work try putting yourself in his shoes. Come to our house and you can do it all for a week. We can not be judgemental. No one can ever say they would do this or that if they were in someone elses shoes. How do you know? You can only think. Same goes for us too.

2. ABSOLUTELY NONE of the money donated to Caleb or his fund is being used by us. We would NEVER take money from our kids. Brandon gets unemployment and we are living off of our savings. Plus I got an unexpected settlement from a major accident we were in four years ago. Plus we do have our own bills but what really helps is that we don't have a mortgage or rent to pay. (It's a blessing I guess...in disguise) GOD has been providing for us somehow. See, when you put your trust in him, he provides for all our needs. Yes, even finances! Caleb's money will be put to things specifically for him and for his medical bills. There are many things I am looking into buying to help Caleb more in his recovery such as a hyperbaric chamber, therapy things, furniture designed especially for him...and many, many other things. He can't play like he could before YET so there's things that I want to get for him that he can have fun with now. OH, like maybe a car like the one he drives at school! And a swing! Anyways, thats some of the things I would like for him and when I finally get it, the money donated for him will go towards some of that. When Caleb is better, EVERYTHING will be donated. We will NOT profit from anything. We will not Sell it...ALL of it will be donated. (Including our wheelchair accessible van)

3. We are so incredibly thankful for everyone who did donate money. We already wrote close to 300 thank you's and still got a lot more to go. We have a very busy life and it's hard for us to find some spare time. Every spare moment we get we like to devote to our boys and each other. We are building up our family. So if you are waiting for a thank you or upset that you didn't get one please know that we are very very sorry. They will all be getting to you at some point. If you would like to be sure that you do receive one or if you donated money to the bank (we do not get names or addresses to those who donate directly to the bank) please email me your address at prayforcaleb@yahoo.com and I will send you a thank you picture. But thank you so much for your donations! We can't begin to thank you enough.

Although everything may seem fine in our lives now...it is a constant battle for us. We do have smiles on our faces and are positive most of the time. We do focus on Christ above all else. But there are many times when we are feeling down or we become sad for what Caleb is going through. The way Caleb was before constantly replays in our minds and it makes us so sad to see him so different the way he is now. We miss the way he was everyday. And we really can't wait till God restores him completely to us. We battle with Satan everyday. It's crazy how hard Satan is trying to tear us down. But I think because we are seeking Christ everyday and fellowshiping with other Christians we are able to recognize it and put up our armor of God!
Like Satan has been attacking us through others (non Christians) which brought forth the reason for this blog today. He's gonna keep trying...and it will be even more so when Caleb is healed!

On a more brighter note...
Caleb had fun at school on Monday! He got to ride the car again and went in the swing. While he was doing therapy he held up his head on his own for a few seconds too! Praise God! We also had a wonderful weekend. Brandon and I spoke at New Hope Leeward and my sisters and I danced too. It was tiring but it's all for the glory of God! Caleb stayed home with my mom and then Brandon's dad came too on Sunday. We wanted to take Caleb somewhere fun this week but it's questionable due to the weather. And it seems that Caleb is smiling a bit more. Not a full on smile yet but a little crack. Hey, just like how when he first started opening his eyes. It took awhile to fully open but eventually did! We are constantly blessed by all the support from our parents, my sisters, and some special friends of ours for watching our boys so we can be able to attend things with church and grow deeper in Christ and in our relationship together too. Thank you Lord for all of them!

God Bless you all and please continue to pray that Caleb will smile big...maybe talk soon? and that he will rest well and long so we can get sleep too! Thank you so much!

So much Progress!!!

2007-08-08T03:29:00.000-07:00

Oh my...it's been so long. I'm so sorry! Things have been busy lately so this one will be a long one. I've got so much to share! I hope everyone hasn't stopped checking for updates though! Thank you to those who have still been eager to hear about Caleb's progress and for continuing to pray so faithfully!

Okay...
So we took Caleb to school (twice already) The first day was only for two hours for physical therapy. The second time we took him for a little longer...he got more therapy, did some artwork...and best of all...he rode a car! They've got a car that is operated by a switch so he uses the switch and makes the car go! He had lots of fun with that! (I did take pictures) The "switch" is what is used for speech therapy. They find a switch to match the child depending on what type of movememts they make and which one suits them best. With that switch they also hooked it up to toys that had markers tied to them and the toy would walk all over the paper "drawing" while Caleb activated the switch. It was a great time at school. As good as school sounds, I don't think we will be sending Caleb there on a regular basis. As of right now, we've got some trust issues. We don't feel comfortable leaving him there alone. I don't think it's so much the teachers and therapists there. It's more just us not being able to really know what's going on since Caleb can't talk YET. But I would like to continue going with him to school once a week...or maybe twice a week. The hardest part with that is having to have someone watch Micaiah while we go.
Another great milestone....We took Caleb to the beach last week Thursday! From the morning time when we talked to him about going to the beach he cried. He cried during the car ride to the beach too and as we all sat in the sand. But after taking him in the water he was fine. He stopped crying and I think he enjoyed it. We assured him that he was safe...that we had him and nothing was going to happen. After he got used to sitting on the shore, our nurse took him in the water and he was fine the whole time. It was a great milestone for Caleb as well as us. The next one will be to take him into the pool. It was so nice to just spend time together. All his cousins came to the beach with us too. (I took pictures of course)
Brandon and I have been talking about reducing Caleb's medications. My mom has been doing some research and has been worried about him getting addicted too. So we have already decreased one of his meds a little and will slowly decrease it as he tolerates it. We would also like to eventually decrease his other meds. We've stopped one completely...but that one is just a stool softener...but Praise God that he doesn't need it! That's one down. We are putting all our trust and faith in God that he will cover Caleb as we decrease his meds and work towards getting him off of all of them. We are praying that Caleb will do very well and that he will be able to come off of all of them soon and be totally fine. Please, please, pray with us as we step towards a new goal!
Speaking of working towards goals and the power of prayer...Caleb is now using his passy-muir valve 24hours a day! Even while he sleeps and eats. We just started leaving it on while he sleeps since Saturday but he's been doing great with it! We decided to do it because he wasn't doing so well with the "artificial nose" on while he slept. He showed to do so much better with the valve on. So...PRAISE GOD! There has been so much improvements! Caleb's tone is much better too. He's much more limber now days. He is also continuing to make different vocalization sounds too with his valve on. I am so very proud of him and all that he's done thus far. He is so brave. The whole beach day just amazed me. I kept telling him how proud I was of him. I've got so much to learn from Caleb...more than I ever thought.
As for Brandon and I...we are doing much better. Of course we've still got so much to overcome but we know where we are headed and are working towards that goal together. We are so blessed to have so much support from so many other Christians. Thank you all for your prayers...

I'll close this blog with my prayer...
Thank you Lord for bringing Caleb so far in his healing already. Please continue to heal him everyday and reassure your healing process in him every step of the way. Thank you God for bringing us through this rough season of our lives and continuing to show us the light! You are the light Lord! You are the light in our dark times...You are perfect in every way! Please watch over Caleb and heal him more and more as we start to wean him off his medications. We know that he will do fine because you are with him, watching over him every second. You have shown us your amazing power in so many ways already. Please continue to show us your awesome healing power. Let every decision we make, especially concerning Caleb, be what you desire Lord. Help us to clearly hear your voice as you continue to lead us through every step of Caleb's healing. Thank you Father! Amen.

2007-07-23T23:17:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I guess this blog is a weekly thing now. (sorry) "So much time so little to do! Strike that, reverse it."

But I've got great news! We've got great progress! Caleb has been using his passy muir valve all day since Thursday and has been doing wonderful with it. In fact he does better with it than without it. We were only taking it off when he had a feeding and when he fell asleep but then we saw that he does better with it when he eats too! So now he's got it on all day long! We only take it off when he sleeps. (But his O2 levels are still better with it than without it when he sleeps too.) Praise God! I'm so amazed...the doctor didn't anticipate that he would be able to handle that in such a short time. I talked with his pediatrician today and told him about it too and he was happy about that and told me to call the specialist and let her know...maybe he can take out the trach sooner than anticipated? PRAY, PRAY...please.
Caleb is now using his stander twice a day now too and has been doing great with it. He's got his new feet and hand splints too and it's working REALLY well. He still continues to get much therapy from his nurses, my mom, and I and massages from my dad that he very much enjoys. (I'm jealous) :) Caleb had a speech evaluation last Wednesday and it went really well too. From what I hear, the speech therapist was very impressed with him and all his expressions he makes with his eyes and she's looking forward to working with him.
At the meeting last Tuesday (w/ the DOE), I had gone in thinking I wasn't going to send him to school. That was my decision going into the meeting. We had gone to observe at the school and there were cons that out did the pros. But after meeting the teacher and talking with her, I was convinced to check it out once more and made a decision about it. (sort of) Well, Caleb will be going to Jefferson starting July 31st. I decided to try it out and start him off once a week for just two hours. That doesn't mean that he will continue to go there for sure yet. I still need to check it out to see how it is during the regular school year. I hear great things about it but I really want to see it for myself. So I will be taking Caleb for two hours while the physical therapist is there so they can work with him. I will also be staying with him the whole time. (He's my baby, I've got to make sure he's well taken care of.) And I want to make sure he likes it too. So we will see how it goes! Please pray that I will be able to make the best decision for him.
On Friday, I took Caleb to a prayer and healing service at our church. The Lord is surely going to pull him out of this! He IS going to recover completely!
On a not so good note...Micaiah caught a cold! He's got a sinus infection...but I'm trying my best to make sure Caleb and I don't get sick and I'm trying to keep him away from Caleb as much as possible. Please pray that Caleb does not get sick. There has been quite a few restless nights with Micaiah these past few days. But he's still happy and smiley as ever! (He loves to brighten everyone's days)
As for me, I've been hanging on. I had a really bad day on Saturday and thought I was going to go nuts. But thank you God for always catching me when I fall and hearing my prayers! And Satan was REALLY trying to pull me down with horrible thoughts in my head...guilty feelings about that night and thoughts about Caleb that night. But as soon as they would creep into my mind I would start to pray and pray until it went away! And God continues to take me in his arms and carry me through those rough moments. We've got such an awesome God!
Things have been going a little better for Brandon and I (well, in the past day anyways). I'm thanking the Lord for bringing sunshine every time through this storm that seems so long but as I was reminded in my daily devotions yesterday..."These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold- though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. "
1 Peter 1:7 ...Jesus will not abandon us...He carries us through every trial!

Thank you for praying so faithfully for Caleb as well as our family! God Bless your hearts!

Rollercoaster Ride

2007-07-17T12:44:00.000-07:00

Well, life has been quite a long rollercoaster ride and I don't know when this ride will come to a stop. You know how when you ride a rollercoaster you can sometimes see the big drop that's coming so you can prepare yourself quickly before it happens but it still gives you a big rush and then there are those sharp turns or unforseen drops that come along that you have no time to prepare for and it makes your heart fall to your feet? Yeah, well that's how it's been. I've been (we have been) coming across those turns that I can't see and falling into a pit. I really felt like I was going to lose it...finally. But I'm back up thanks to a wonderful Christian friend and God's never failing love for me. And this morning when I woke up I remembered about Ephesians 6 and put on the Armor of God. I'm ready for battle!

Caleb continues to get better and more limber than ever! Today I have to go to another meeting with the DOE. I think I've decided not to send him to school right now. I'm going to try and talk to them today and see if they can meet what I'd like to request but if not I will keep him home. He's getting great care at home anyways! Caleb's suctioning also has decreased. I've noticed that it increases when he is having a feeding. He has also been sleeping pretty well. Off and on he sleeps 9 or 10 hours but gosh to look back at how it was when we first brought him home...what a blessing! Caleb is sure growing too..he's not so skinny anymore and he's grown so tall! Oh and I've finally got an appointment for him to get a speech evaluation tomorrow so hopefully he can start on some speech therapy. I also called the new neurologist to get an appointment for him...he's booked till October but at least we will get to see someone else.

I think I forgot to mention that there was an article in the Makai Lifestyle Magazine (find it free at Jamba Juice) I don't know if it's still the same one out though.

Well as we go through this not so fun rollercoaster I've got to remind myself to keep looking to God, to pray every moment I get, and to remember that "I can do all things through Christ whom strengthens me." I can do this...I've got to stay above it for my sons...I've got to keep it together...I'm not going to lose it! The scripture that I put on the top of this blog...is what keeps running through my mind right now. I've got to keep on that and remember it always.

At PURSUIT we are learning about the Power of Words. This past friday was about using encouraging words. I thought about Caleb and how we have to constantly praise him and encourage him for his improvements and keep on telling him that he can do it and not to give up. I also really thought about how all of you consistently encourage us to keep going and not loose faith with your wonderful comments on this blog, or thoughtful gestures or words when we bump into you at church or wherever we may go. Do you realize how powerful your words are? It is a huge part in our walk with the Lord and with Caleb at this time. So just to encourage you to always use encouraging words to everyone because you can really change someones day as you sure do for us everyday! Sometimes it is hard to do...I struggle with it everyday. But I think I've realized how powerful it really is.

Before I end today...A kind lady who was in Hawaii when they aired Caleb's story contacted me and wanted to make a little "store" online for Caleb to help with some costs. You can check it out at www.friendsforcaleb.com
I already put in a large order...

God Bless you all and thank you for praying for all of us...especially for Caleb!

Enduring this race

2007-07-12T03:40:00.001-07:00

It's been a long time...again.
Well, we've been really busy (in a good way). Brandon and I have been doing a lot of things with church this past week and a half. We're trying to get more involved so we can stay focused on the Lord and have a better foundation and also to meet more Christian people to sustain us along this road. We've been busy with everything but we're enjoying ourselves! We started to attend Midweek Services and also started attending Pursuit. Then Brandon has his mens group and I have Women In the Word. I'm also going to start a bible class with ladies from Pursuit too! We take Caleb to some events at church where and when we can. But we felt that we have not been spending as much time with him. However, our counselor pointed out that this is something that we need to do. Brandon and I have to work on ourselves and our relationship with each other...spending more time together and growing deeper together (spiritually) and also growing deeper in the Lord. So we have to do what we are doing...we do spend quality time with him...just not as much. But what good are we to Caleb if we are falling away from God...going in the wrong direction and fighting with each other all the time?

Caleb has been doing very well. My mom has been constantly doing physical therapy on him everyday and has been devoting most of her free time to Caleb or should I say all her time. I can see a big change in Caleb's progress. Brandon had asked Caleb to reach up and grab his toy car. He kept encouraging him and Caleb kept his eyes on it and tried so hard to get it. His arm was moving a lot like he was trying to get it up there. He's so determined...we know he'll be able to do it....very soon! I don't remember what I had asked him to do or what I was talking about to him but he was responding a lot by moving his head. (I've got a really bad memory) Anyways...it seems that he responds more to things and we can read him a little better. Nurse "Greg" always tells him to swallow his saliva and tells him all the goodies he will get to eat when he learns how to swallow again and he makes a lot of expressions when he tells him that. Caleb has been doing so good with his Passy Muir Valve too. We leave it on for quite awhile now and could actually leave it on even longer. He does so much better with his O2 level when he has it on as opposed to when its off.

Caleb continues to amaze me with his spirit. Even though he can't talk yet, he shows so much with his expressions and responsive actions and his fighting spirit! He's coming back to us...in very tiny steps...but praise God that he continues to show us his work being done in Caleb and his progression everyday!

This is something that I've been pondering on...
"We can rejoice too when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develps strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." Romans 5:3-5

We are enduring this race...walking...but enduring...and eventually we'll be running it till Caleb is healed!

Please Continue to pray for Caleb's healing and that God continues to show us his working miracle in Caleb everyday. Please pray that we will continue to follow the right path and that we will be able to see all of the devils attempts to bring us down so that we may defeat it and continue to give God all the praise and glory! Thank you and God bless you all...

Stepping Stones

2007-07-02T22:44:00.000-07:00

Caleb has continued to sleep well through the night. He wakes up around 3:30 or 4am...usually. (But that is REALLY good compared to where we were at before.) Caleb's hands are much looser now. He usually has tight fists due to his high tone. But because of all the therapy he's getting and of course God's healing mercy in progress, he has improved a lot in that area. Praise God! He's getting better and I can actually see it! Since I see him everyday it's hard to see changes that others see. But I see it! Thank You Jesus!
Brandon and I continue to go through our struggles but we are holding on and not letting go. God's going to pull us out of this just like he's going to do for Caleb but we have to keep our walk straight and continue to be fed by the Word. I was just thinking about this today...I can't imagine where we will be at later. I mean how all our lives will be in the future through all of this that we are enduring now. We will be so close and so strong and at a better place in life than we have ever been! Times are really hard now but I am growing closer to God and I'm learning so much about HIM. It's so comforting to know that no matter what happens in life, God is there and he loves me and will never abandon me. So I know I'll be okay...We will ALL be okay. These stepping stones are bringing us closer and closer to the Lord!
Thank you for faithfully praying for all of us...especially Caleb! God Bless!

There's always SUNSHINE in the RAIN!

2007-06-29T00:55:00.000-07:00

Everytime we start to slip in the rain we can always look up and see the sunshine even though it sometimes takes awhile.
Caleb is improving everyday...really! On Tuesday night Caleb slept for 10 hours (all the way till 6am) It's a record! I was able to sleep seven hours! How heavenly...I don't remember the last time I slept that well. But I did wake up a couple of times to check on him...it was weird not being woken up. This morning Caleb woke up earlier though but when I laid down next to him in his bed he put his head right up against mine and fell back asleep and we slept till the nurse arrived. I know he was happy that I slept next to him. Caleb continues to get lots and lots of therapy by my mom and uncle and my dad who continues to massage him...and the nurses too. The therapy is really good for him. Everyone sees the change in him from all of it. Good job mom! You're really doing so great with "Kamakana" and it's soooo much help! Thanks :) I can see the change in you too. My neice Callie keeps him company when she comes home from school...I know he really likes having her around everyday...like how it was when they were living closer.
As for Brandon and I...We talked today and it went really good. We both are learning so much through all of this and it really is bringing us closer. As we draw apart from each other with all the stress, God continues to pull us back together and teach us a lesson about one another and he reminds us of our love for one another and that He put us together for a reason...to bring out the best in one another and help one another to grown in Christ through our differences. He's testing us but our love for one another will only be stronger in the end. It's so hard many times and it's been very hard lately. I continue to look to God through it all...the source for all my needs. I've realized so much and have seen a change in myself towards certain things. I'm also reading "The Power of a Praying Wife" Oh my, you must read it! It's a great book and it's something I definitely need right now. It's opening my eyes to a lot of my faults and is teaching me why it is so important for a wife to pray for her husband. And I'm so blessed to have such a wonderful women's group too! They are my favorite people to talk to through it all! Thanks everyone, I really wouldn't be able to do it all with out you...I love you all! See...God really did prepare me for this and put me in the right place with the best people! Thank you Lord!
Thank you all for your prayers...see I told you they are so powerful! There's a bit of sunshine now! Caleb is going to be fully recovered one day. There's no doubt about that. We just don't know when God is going to make it happen. But it is this time in between that is so critical and hard. This is the time for our hearts to change. We are changing. Like I said we do slip here and there but we get back up and see where we went wrong and keep on walking forward. THAT is what changes us so much. It's when we realize what has happened or what was said and change it..and change our heart towards whatever went on. We just have to keep our head up and continue to live each day as best as we can to become more like Christ. We continue to look forward and can't wait to see Caleb running around again and talking up a storm.
Oh yeah, a couple of our nurses went ahead and found us another neurologist! Thanks nurse "Greg F." (haha) So this one is really good so I've heard.
Well, God Bless you all! We love you.